I'm so self-absorbed. I was so depressed today about Kim moving that I FORGOT her birthday. What the heck is wrong with me? Oh, wait, again with the self-absorption.
Happy Birthday to my other sister, also named Kim. You know I love you. And if anyone on the planet can empathize with self-absorption.....
I feel like a dog.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Idea
Someone needs to invent a book holster. That way when I'm in the middle of a particularly engaging plot, I can holster it. And whenever I have a moment to spare, reach down, draw it out and read. I wouldn't have to remember to take it places. And when one of those rare moments comes, like in the drive-up window at the bank, voila... book on the hip, ready for reading. Wouldn't that be great?
Inside My Head
My head is packed and swirling. Like a stream overflowing it's banks. I can't even pull a few thoughts out of the flood to expound upon. Too slippery.
I had a great birthday.
I have to clean out my schoolroom.
I need to plant my garden.
How do I pray for Amber?
Who can I get to teach Jr. High girls?
When is Chris geting home?
Do we have enough milk?
How do I not grow weary in doing good?
What curriculum will I use next year?
Where do I even start in organizing my house?
I miss my mother.
I miss the Hill's already.
I wonder if I'll have time to read today.
The Women's Event took more out of me than I'd realized.
Those are the few that I could grab ahold of. Maybe I'll elaborate later.
I had a great birthday.
I have to clean out my schoolroom.
I need to plant my garden.
How do I pray for Amber?
Who can I get to teach Jr. High girls?
When is Chris geting home?
Do we have enough milk?
How do I not grow weary in doing good?
What curriculum will I use next year?
Where do I even start in organizing my house?
I miss my mother.
I miss the Hill's already.
I wonder if I'll have time to read today.
The Women's Event took more out of me than I'd realized.
Those are the few that I could grab ahold of. Maybe I'll elaborate later.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Focus
Today as Gracie was doing her reading, Chris turned on the television to watch as he folded clothes. Whereas Gracie had been reading like a champ before, now she was struggling. Had the words gotten harder? Nope. Was the sun in her eyes? Nu-uh.
Focus. It's all about focus. Where was she looking? It's pretty hard to read the words of a book when you're looking at the television. I had to keep doing things to get her attention back. Tap the book. Poke her leg. Call her name.
What does God do with me? I'm just like Gracie. I'm clicking right along, doing whatever it is I'm doing, earnestly seeking to glorify God... and *poke* Oh, yeah... what was I doing again? I look around in surprise. All the stuff is getting done, but where is my joy? Where is my motivation? Where is my focus?
I find myself in this position right now. The WIC event is Saturday. I look around and realize that I'm forcing things. Trying to get things done. Trying to make it all work. How did God point out that I'm not focused on Him? I look around and see the lack of joy and motivation in the people I'm with. And then I realize that they are feeding off of me.
What was our original purpose for this event? To glorify God by providing a safe environment for unbelieving women to come and hear the gospel. How do we do this? The seminars are for the purpose of having fun, learning new things and showing that all things are sacred. God is not separate from us. The luncheon is free so that we can give something lovely to the women to show them that we love them. There is childcare so that no woman is excluded. Every aspect of the event is built around the mission of showing the love of Christ to the women who come.
But instead, I caught myself turning it into tasks. "Martha, Martha." I rob the women I'm around of joy. I distract them from the passion of knowing Christ and showing his love to others.
I'm tired. Disappointed. Frustrated with my sin. I know that this event is in God's hands. I know that he's providing for the details. I pray for the handful of women that I know are coming that desperately need Christ. I pray that God's name will be glorified. I also pray that it won't be in spite of me.
Focus. It's all about focus. Where was she looking? It's pretty hard to read the words of a book when you're looking at the television. I had to keep doing things to get her attention back. Tap the book. Poke her leg. Call her name.
What does God do with me? I'm just like Gracie. I'm clicking right along, doing whatever it is I'm doing, earnestly seeking to glorify God... and *poke* Oh, yeah... what was I doing again? I look around in surprise. All the stuff is getting done, but where is my joy? Where is my motivation? Where is my focus?
I find myself in this position right now. The WIC event is Saturday. I look around and realize that I'm forcing things. Trying to get things done. Trying to make it all work. How did God point out that I'm not focused on Him? I look around and see the lack of joy and motivation in the people I'm with. And then I realize that they are feeding off of me.
What was our original purpose for this event? To glorify God by providing a safe environment for unbelieving women to come and hear the gospel. How do we do this? The seminars are for the purpose of having fun, learning new things and showing that all things are sacred. God is not separate from us. The luncheon is free so that we can give something lovely to the women to show them that we love them. There is childcare so that no woman is excluded. Every aspect of the event is built around the mission of showing the love of Christ to the women who come.
But instead, I caught myself turning it into tasks. "Martha, Martha." I rob the women I'm around of joy. I distract them from the passion of knowing Christ and showing his love to others.
I'm tired. Disappointed. Frustrated with my sin. I know that this event is in God's hands. I know that he's providing for the details. I pray for the handful of women that I know are coming that desperately need Christ. I pray that God's name will be glorified. I also pray that it won't be in spite of me.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Here's the invite for the Spring Event. Super fun, no joke. I hope that every woman reading this knows that she is welcome and wanted. We'll spend time in worship, time in seminars, time in fellowship (aka, eating) and time in learning.I've seen God use this event in many ways. If you are a member of CPC, then this event gives you a golden opportunity to minister to others. It gives you an opportunity to serve, in one way or another.
Please come. And if you can't come, please pray for the women who will come. Pray that God's glory will be shown.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Differing Views on Toilet Paper
This is a post that's been simmering in my mind for quite some time. I've noticed that people think very differently about toilet paper.
I have friends who hate buying it. They feel it's a waste of money. After all, all you do with it is wipe your rear. Thus, they buy the cheapest kind available. It offends their financial sensibilities to do any less. They also buy in bulk. And when I say bulk, I mean b-u-l-k. Like dozens of rolls at a time. And to have to buy more only causes annoyance that borders on anger.
But...
I also have friends who carry a roll with them when they go places. They will only use one brand... a very expensive brand. Thick, soft, 2 or 3 ply. And God forbid it leave any residue. They carry toilet paper camping, to hotels, on outings, to other peoples' homes when they spend the night. They are deeply committed to their toilet paper. They feel that toilet paper and what we do with it is what separates us from the animals (that and the whole opposable thumb thing).
While I...
Am somewhere in the middle. Yes, we just use toilet paper to wipe our rear ends, but at the same time, we use it to wipe our rear ends. That's pretty high up on the things that I think are important scale. I refuse to use leaves or the Sears catalogue. There's no way I'm using anything that has to be washed. And if I must wipe, I want to be clean and comfortable. Thus, Scott tissue offends me. What's the point of it? I might as well go grab a leaf for all the good it does. But I'm not gonna spend big bucks for something that I'm gonna flush. So that leaves me somewhere in the middle.
Middle price
Middle softness
Middle comfort-level
Well, those are my thoughts on the subject. Oh, I almost forgot...
Toilet paper commercials. I don't like them. I know that I use toilet paper, and I don't like thinking about it. I'd really, really rather not think about other people using it. Or whether they're clean enough or chafed or the most disgusting commercial ever... does your toilet paper leave 'fuzzies'? Ugh. Blech. *shudder* La.La.La. Not listening to you....
I have friends who hate buying it. They feel it's a waste of money. After all, all you do with it is wipe your rear. Thus, they buy the cheapest kind available. It offends their financial sensibilities to do any less. They also buy in bulk. And when I say bulk, I mean b-u-l-k. Like dozens of rolls at a time. And to have to buy more only causes annoyance that borders on anger.
But...
I also have friends who carry a roll with them when they go places. They will only use one brand... a very expensive brand. Thick, soft, 2 or 3 ply. And God forbid it leave any residue. They carry toilet paper camping, to hotels, on outings, to other peoples' homes when they spend the night. They are deeply committed to their toilet paper. They feel that toilet paper and what we do with it is what separates us from the animals (that and the whole opposable thumb thing).
While I...
Am somewhere in the middle. Yes, we just use toilet paper to wipe our rear ends, but at the same time, we use it to wipe our rear ends. That's pretty high up on the things that I think are important scale. I refuse to use leaves or the Sears catalogue. There's no way I'm using anything that has to be washed. And if I must wipe, I want to be clean and comfortable. Thus, Scott tissue offends me. What's the point of it? I might as well go grab a leaf for all the good it does. But I'm not gonna spend big bucks for something that I'm gonna flush. So that leaves me somewhere in the middle.
Middle price
Middle softness
Middle comfort-level
Well, those are my thoughts on the subject. Oh, I almost forgot...
Toilet paper commercials. I don't like them. I know that I use toilet paper, and I don't like thinking about it. I'd really, really rather not think about other people using it. Or whether they're clean enough or chafed or the most disgusting commercial ever... does your toilet paper leave 'fuzzies'? Ugh. Blech. *shudder* La.La.La. Not listening to you....
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Rest of the Trip, Finally!
Okay, rest of Day 2....
Brad and Mandi took us to eat at a place called Tijuana Flats. Oh my goodness gracious, that is some really, really good food. Tex Mex heaven. The kids ate so much they were sick for half the night. We ended up eating there the next night too.
After Tijuana Flats, they took us to Krispy Kreme. Can the night get any better? I think not.
I let each child pick a movie they wanted to watch with me. Maggie picked Phantom of the Opera, which we watched Tuesday night. Ty picked Return of the King, which we watched Wednesday night. I hate to say it, especially in front of KimHill, but not impressed with Phantom. It was too long. And I must say, get to the point already. Kim insists that I have to watch it again... with her. But I fear that if I still don't like it, she'll chain me to a chair and make me watch it 'til I like it. It scares me a little.
Wednesday morning, we got up early (9 am) and drove down to Hollywood. Hollywood is one of the most beautiful, fun places I've ever been. We had a marvelous time. Hollywood has a cool boardwalk. It's like beachfront road with no cars allowed. We rented cool recumbent bikes, ate pizza and enjoyed the view.
When we left Hollywood, we drove to Ft. Lauderdale to the theater and watched Horton Hears A Who. Great movie!!! We loved it.
Since it was Wednesday, Brad had to work. (He's a youth pastor) So, we surprised him at his church. It was fun to meet his kids. And to see him be a youth pastor. Most of his kids call him Pastor Brad. It makes me laugh every time.
Thursday, Brad took off work to spend the day with us. He drove us down to Miami, to the end (or is it the beginning?) of I-95. Strange. You're driving down the interstate, you go down a little rise and then, boom, you're in a neighborhood. It was crazy.
We drove down the strip at South Beach. Ty was especially grateful that we saw no naked people... I had warned them that it could happen. We cruised with the windows down, listening to the sounds. It was about 90 degrees that day. The sights and sounds of Miami were surreal. That place is huge. And the fashion lemmings are rampant. The girls tend to look the same: tall, tan, black clothes, tight hairbun, enormous sunglasses. Do they have any creative spark of their own? What would it take for them to feel the freedom to act on it?
After Miami, Brad took us... okay, Ty... to an exotic car lot. I'll post pictures later. There was a Rolls Royce there for the low, low price of 1/2 million dollars. I bought two.
Thursday was Brad and Mandi's 4th anniversary. Mandi had to work. Brad stopped at a florist shop and bought her flowers. So sweet. After, we walked to a small drainage canal and watched the wild iguanas. Yes, wild iguanas. There were almost 50 of them. I have video footage. I'll post that also. It was nuts.
Then it was time to head home. All good things must come to an end. And this trip was one of the most delightful times of my life. Maggie, Ty and I got to bond. I got to spend time with Brad, one of my most favorite people in the world. I got to know Mandi better and love her all the more for it. The weather spoiled me rotten. I've been discontent with Alabama weather ever since. I'm almost afraid to go back. It can't possibly be as wonderful the next time around. Right?
Brad and Mandi took us to eat at a place called Tijuana Flats. Oh my goodness gracious, that is some really, really good food. Tex Mex heaven. The kids ate so much they were sick for half the night. We ended up eating there the next night too.
After Tijuana Flats, they took us to Krispy Kreme. Can the night get any better? I think not.
I let each child pick a movie they wanted to watch with me. Maggie picked Phantom of the Opera, which we watched Tuesday night. Ty picked Return of the King, which we watched Wednesday night. I hate to say it, especially in front of KimHill, but not impressed with Phantom. It was too long. And I must say, get to the point already. Kim insists that I have to watch it again... with her. But I fear that if I still don't like it, she'll chain me to a chair and make me watch it 'til I like it. It scares me a little.
Wednesday morning, we got up early (9 am) and drove down to Hollywood. Hollywood is one of the most beautiful, fun places I've ever been. We had a marvelous time. Hollywood has a cool boardwalk. It's like beachfront road with no cars allowed. We rented cool recumbent bikes, ate pizza and enjoyed the view.
When we left Hollywood, we drove to Ft. Lauderdale to the theater and watched Horton Hears A Who. Great movie!!! We loved it.
Since it was Wednesday, Brad had to work. (He's a youth pastor) So, we surprised him at his church. It was fun to meet his kids. And to see him be a youth pastor. Most of his kids call him Pastor Brad. It makes me laugh every time.
Thursday, Brad took off work to spend the day with us. He drove us down to Miami, to the end (or is it the beginning?) of I-95. Strange. You're driving down the interstate, you go down a little rise and then, boom, you're in a neighborhood. It was crazy.
We drove down the strip at South Beach. Ty was especially grateful that we saw no naked people... I had warned them that it could happen. We cruised with the windows down, listening to the sounds. It was about 90 degrees that day. The sights and sounds of Miami were surreal. That place is huge. And the fashion lemmings are rampant. The girls tend to look the same: tall, tan, black clothes, tight hairbun, enormous sunglasses. Do they have any creative spark of their own? What would it take for them to feel the freedom to act on it?
After Miami, Brad took us... okay, Ty... to an exotic car lot. I'll post pictures later. There was a Rolls Royce there for the low, low price of 1/2 million dollars. I bought two.
Thursday was Brad and Mandi's 4th anniversary. Mandi had to work. Brad stopped at a florist shop and bought her flowers. So sweet. After, we walked to a small drainage canal and watched the wild iguanas. Yes, wild iguanas. There were almost 50 of them. I have video footage. I'll post that also. It was nuts.
Then it was time to head home. All good things must come to an end. And this trip was one of the most delightful times of my life. Maggie, Ty and I got to bond. I got to spend time with Brad, one of my most favorite people in the world. I got to know Mandi better and love her all the more for it. The weather spoiled me rotten. I've been discontent with Alabama weather ever since. I'm almost afraid to go back. It can't possibly be as wonderful the next time around. Right?
Don't hate me. I know that I've not blogged in a while. And totally left you hanging as far as the trip goes. I'll post pictures soon.
I got thrown back into life as soon as I got home. As a matter of fact, I've spent a grand total of one day at home since I got back. I'm tired and just a touch annoyed. I would love to have a few days at home where I could read or blog or relax. Maybe next week. So, when I can grab a few more minutes, I'll blog. Until then....
I got thrown back into life as soon as I got home. As a matter of fact, I've spent a grand total of one day at home since I got back. I'm tired and just a touch annoyed. I would love to have a few days at home where I could read or blog or relax. Maybe next week. So, when I can grab a few more minutes, I'll blog. Until then....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Day 1 and Half of Day2
Good times. Good times.
I'm having way too much fun. It's a sin I'm sure. The only dull spot in my life right now is not having Chris and the other 2 kids. If they were here, life would be perfect.
Yesterday Maggie, Ty and I arrived in Pompano. We unpacked and went to the beach, which by the way, is very different from the gulf. Very shell-y. And brown. We watched the surfers, looked at the weird little blue things on the sand, dug holes and rode waves. Later we found out that the little blue things were Portuguese Man O War. Some were quite large.... and we were quite terrified when we found out what they were. We'd been in the water for at least an hour. No stings or 911 calls though. Thank the Lord.
We stayed a little longer and then went to Brad and Mandi's pool. Super fun. We ate pizza rolls and chips and salsa for dinner and then watched a couple of movies. Finding Neverland and Garfield. Wonderfully relaxing.
Today we went to the spot where the house that my Dad grew up used to be. That was cool to me. I've heard stories all my life and now I've been to the same spot. Although it was a bit like Blast From The Past. Very run-down and scary. I'm sure it must be sad for my Dad to see.
We also went for an airboat ride in The Everglades. Holy cow! That was fun. We broke down right next to a 12 foot long alligator. It just floated there and watched us while we waited for parts for our boat. Cool, huh? Once we got on the way, we broke down again. This time we had to switch boats in the middle of The Everglades. Very scary. But what an adventure! And a much better story to tell.
Well, Brad's whining, wanting to got to bed and I'm on his 'puter that he needs to put away. I'll try to post more tomorrow.
I'm having way too much fun. It's a sin I'm sure. The only dull spot in my life right now is not having Chris and the other 2 kids. If they were here, life would be perfect.
Yesterday Maggie, Ty and I arrived in Pompano. We unpacked and went to the beach, which by the way, is very different from the gulf. Very shell-y. And brown. We watched the surfers, looked at the weird little blue things on the sand, dug holes and rode waves. Later we found out that the little blue things were Portuguese Man O War. Some were quite large.... and we were quite terrified when we found out what they were. We'd been in the water for at least an hour. No stings or 911 calls though. Thank the Lord.
We stayed a little longer and then went to Brad and Mandi's pool. Super fun. We ate pizza rolls and chips and salsa for dinner and then watched a couple of movies. Finding Neverland and Garfield. Wonderfully relaxing.
Today we went to the spot where the house that my Dad grew up used to be. That was cool to me. I've heard stories all my life and now I've been to the same spot. Although it was a bit like Blast From The Past. Very run-down and scary. I'm sure it must be sad for my Dad to see.
We also went for an airboat ride in The Everglades. Holy cow! That was fun. We broke down right next to a 12 foot long alligator. It just floated there and watched us while we waited for parts for our boat. Cool, huh? Once we got on the way, we broke down again. This time we had to switch boats in the middle of The Everglades. Very scary. But what an adventure! And a much better story to tell.
Well, Brad's whining, wanting to got to bed and I'm on his 'puter that he needs to put away. I'll try to post more tomorrow.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Hello From Florida
Well, we made it. Right now, I am in KimHill's parent's living room. Kim took the kids for a walk so that I can pack and get ready to head on down to Pompano Beach. I don't think she'll mind that I took 2 minutes to blog.
Kim's parents' home is beautiful. Very open floor plan. Very comfy. A little humid.
Mags, Ty and I will be leaving in about 30 minutes. I can't wait. We're going to have a blast. I'll try to keep you posted.
Kim's parents' home is beautiful. Very open floor plan. Very comfy. A little humid.
Mags, Ty and I will be leaving in about 30 minutes. I can't wait. We're going to have a blast. I'll try to keep you posted.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Shave and a Haircut
I got a haircut today. I really like it. A guy named Jason, down at Janet's Barber Shop, cut it. He's really very good. Before he cut it, he straightened it. I've never seen my hair straight before. All 4 of my kids were standing around staring. Chris was chuckling. It was very strange. I looked like a completely different person.
It reminded me of a time when I was about 7 years old and watched my Dad shave his beard. It's the only time I remember him without a beard. I remember standing and watching, amazed. But I also remember not liking it at all. He didn't look like my Daddy. He grew it back immediately and has never shaved it again.
Isn't it strange how we grow accustomed to how people look, or even how people act, and it makes us uncomfortable for them to change? Or we just don't acknowledge that they have changed. People get stuck in a box, this is how they are... But no one stays the same. God is continually growing and changing us.
The place this the most evident is in my marriage. I can never get to the point where I know everything there is to know about my spouse. Because he is changing and growing. I am changing and growing. And we have to constantly be learning each other all over again.
I can't think of a time when complacency is a good thing.
It reminded me of a time when I was about 7 years old and watched my Dad shave his beard. It's the only time I remember him without a beard. I remember standing and watching, amazed. But I also remember not liking it at all. He didn't look like my Daddy. He grew it back immediately and has never shaved it again.
Isn't it strange how we grow accustomed to how people look, or even how people act, and it makes us uncomfortable for them to change? Or we just don't acknowledge that they have changed. People get stuck in a box, this is how they are... But no one stays the same. God is continually growing and changing us.
The place this the most evident is in my marriage. I can never get to the point where I know everything there is to know about my spouse. Because he is changing and growing. I am changing and growing. And we have to constantly be learning each other all over again.
I can't think of a time when complacency is a good thing.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Rally the Troups
Well, many of you have read Burt's blog and know a little about the plumbing issues at the church. What you may not know is how bad the situation really was. After working for four hours, Plumbing 911 had the gall to charge us $3100. After having to deal with this company, Scott finally told them to just leave. What they left was a mess. They left one pipe open.. so mud, dirt and rocks got in. This in turn clogged the line. This in turn caused the toilets and water fountains to not work. (this was the problem last Sunday) Now we have at least 3 toilets and 2 sinks that are broken.
What gripes me the most is how the owner handled the entire situation. He actually doesn't care. Burt got other estimates for the work Plumbing 911 did: the highest was $1000. When confronted with this, the owner actually verbalized that he did not care.
Why should this bother you?
1. It was our tithes that he stole.
2. If he'll do this to a church, what do you think he'll do to ordinary folks?
3. It was wrong.
What can you do about it?
Call Plumbing 911 at 699-2666. Let them know what you think. And then if you need a plumber, don't call Plumbing 911. Call someone who cares.
If you actually take the time to call, please leave me a comment.
What gripes me the most is how the owner handled the entire situation. He actually doesn't care. Burt got other estimates for the work Plumbing 911 did: the highest was $1000. When confronted with this, the owner actually verbalized that he did not care.
Why should this bother you?
1. It was our tithes that he stole.
2. If he'll do this to a church, what do you think he'll do to ordinary folks?
3. It was wrong.
What can you do about it?
Call Plumbing 911 at 699-2666. Let them know what you think. And then if you need a plumber, don't call Plumbing 911. Call someone who cares.
If you actually take the time to call, please leave me a comment.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
The Truth About Chris Sharp
Lest you think that he's perfect...
Tonight after he ate his supper, I gave him the very last brownie. Deep sacrifice for me. We're listening to music, talking about existentialism, when he turns around and... you might want to sit down... throws the crusty part of the brownie in the garbage! The garbage! In a rather distressed tone I ask him, "What the heck are you doing? You don't throw a perfectly good chocolatey brownie in the trash!" He looked somewhat surprised and maybe a little scared and apologized, trying to justify himself on the basis of the brownie being a little hard around the edges. So?!? I mean, honestly, can this relationship survive when we are that different? "Hard around the edges".... phffff.
Tonight after he ate his supper, I gave him the very last brownie. Deep sacrifice for me. We're listening to music, talking about existentialism, when he turns around and... you might want to sit down... throws the crusty part of the brownie in the garbage! The garbage! In a rather distressed tone I ask him, "What the heck are you doing? You don't throw a perfectly good chocolatey brownie in the trash!" He looked somewhat surprised and maybe a little scared and apologized, trying to justify himself on the basis of the brownie being a little hard around the edges. So?!? I mean, honestly, can this relationship survive when we are that different? "Hard around the edges".... phffff.
Friday Night Food and A Quote
Last night was, in my opinion, the best Friday night of the year. Very relaxed. No one was seeking entertainment. (I am not opposed to entertainment, but it is nice to just be sometimes.) It was very quiet, with lots of sharing. All five of us just ... communed. It was more than talk, it was more than that. I felt very connected. Very nourished. Very much a part of a whole.
I think that was why it felt very unreal when Brody fell and almost bit through his chin. Kim stayed at my house with the other kids while I took Brody to his Daddy at work. I love that, by the way. I love being able to take him to Chris. I walked in the ER, waited 10 minutes, Chris came in, looked at him and sent me home with instructions to glue it shut. (It wasn't in or too close to his mouth.) The wait in the ER would have been about three hours. I was there 15 minutes. I came home, cleaned it, glued it and was done. Today, you can barely tell.
But it was weird driving to the hospital on the heels of such a lovely evening. I can't describe it. It was just like it shouldn't have happened. And the way it happened, all calm and quiet and relaxed... strange. Brody cried but everything else seemed very calm.
I have no deep spiritual application. Other than that all things happen according to God's plan and calm is how it should be.
Subject change:
I have to be very careful about the things I pursue. One of the best ways of being careful is to think of my husband. Would it cause a hardship for him? Would it show him love? Would it honor him? Would it create hurt feelings? These are things that I ask myself because Chris is very generous and unselfish. He doesn't mind keeping the kids for me to go buy groceries by myself. He'll even keep other people's kids as well if I ask him. He serves me in a hundred ways. Sometimes it's as simple as getting my glasses out of the car for me. I could easily take advantage of him and hurt him.
*Sidenote:
I'll tell you men this: serving your wife is the most spiritual thing you can do for her. When he serves me, I feel loved and cherished and in return, I respect him even more. It produces in me a desire to do him good. It makes it easier to submit and follow him. It causes me to want to serve him.
I know that some of you don't know Chris. I say lots of nice things about him, I know. But I don't want you to think that he's easily manipulated or weak. Those of you who do know him know that he's very strong in character. If he feels the need to tell me 'no', he will and he won't back down. He even sent me to my room once. (I needed it.)
I asked him last night if I could go to Miami to visit my cousin for 5 days. I could tell it didn't make him happy but, as he saw no real reason why not, he said yes. He just wants me to be happy. He just loves me. It reminded me of Ephesians 5:25. "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives." - The Message
I think that was why it felt very unreal when Brody fell and almost bit through his chin. Kim stayed at my house with the other kids while I took Brody to his Daddy at work. I love that, by the way. I love being able to take him to Chris. I walked in the ER, waited 10 minutes, Chris came in, looked at him and sent me home with instructions to glue it shut. (It wasn't in or too close to his mouth.) The wait in the ER would have been about three hours. I was there 15 minutes. I came home, cleaned it, glued it and was done. Today, you can barely tell.
But it was weird driving to the hospital on the heels of such a lovely evening. I can't describe it. It was just like it shouldn't have happened. And the way it happened, all calm and quiet and relaxed... strange. Brody cried but everything else seemed very calm.
I have no deep spiritual application. Other than that all things happen according to God's plan and calm is how it should be.
Subject change:
I have to be very careful about the things I pursue. One of the best ways of being careful is to think of my husband. Would it cause a hardship for him? Would it show him love? Would it honor him? Would it create hurt feelings? These are things that I ask myself because Chris is very generous and unselfish. He doesn't mind keeping the kids for me to go buy groceries by myself. He'll even keep other people's kids as well if I ask him. He serves me in a hundred ways. Sometimes it's as simple as getting my glasses out of the car for me. I could easily take advantage of him and hurt him.
*Sidenote:
I'll tell you men this: serving your wife is the most spiritual thing you can do for her. When he serves me, I feel loved and cherished and in return, I respect him even more. It produces in me a desire to do him good. It makes it easier to submit and follow him. It causes me to want to serve him.
I know that some of you don't know Chris. I say lots of nice things about him, I know. But I don't want you to think that he's easily manipulated or weak. Those of you who do know him know that he's very strong in character. If he feels the need to tell me 'no', he will and he won't back down. He even sent me to my room once. (I needed it.)
I asked him last night if I could go to Miami to visit my cousin for 5 days. I could tell it didn't make him happy but, as he saw no real reason why not, he said yes. He just wants me to be happy. He just loves me. It reminded me of Ephesians 5:25. "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives." - The Message
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Chalk Drawings and Separation Anxiety
There is a scene from Mary Poppins that comes to my mind today. It is the scene in which the children and Mary Poppins come across Bert as he is doing chalk drawings on the sidewalk. They jump into their favorite scene: a country road that has fair over the hill. They ride a carousel and then the horses jump off. They ride the painted horses in a fox hunt and then a derby race. It's like a dream come true... and then the rain comes. And their beautiful day simply... washes away.
Sometimes, when I am not remembering the loving sovereignty of God, that's what my life feels like. I have lived a fairy tale life to a certain extent: been at the same church for half my life, am known by the family at this church, and have been surrounded by spiritual peers with whom I connect with on a deep level. And now it seems to be changing.
I can see the smudges of the chalk of this life beginning to run around the edges. I hear the rain in the distance. Things will change. And I must grab hold of the only hand that is in control. He will hold onto me, comfort me in my sadness and lead me into another adventure. He will surely do good and not evil. He will hold me up. I am reminded of Isaiah 41:10: "Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."
Sometimes, when I am not remembering the loving sovereignty of God, that's what my life feels like. I have lived a fairy tale life to a certain extent: been at the same church for half my life, am known by the family at this church, and have been surrounded by spiritual peers with whom I connect with on a deep level. And now it seems to be changing.
I can see the smudges of the chalk of this life beginning to run around the edges. I hear the rain in the distance. Things will change. And I must grab hold of the only hand that is in control. He will hold onto me, comfort me in my sadness and lead me into another adventure. He will surely do good and not evil. He will hold me up. I am reminded of Isaiah 41:10: "Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."
Sometimes my insides shake a little as the fear and panic claws at me. But what have I to fear? Will He let me down? Will this be the time that He withholds good things from me? Will I be led somewhere and dropped off? I cannot believe that is possible.
I think that the smudges I see are the washing away of my illusion of reality. The reality where I honestly believe that I can only be happy when I am safe. Or that I can find true fulfillment outside of my Creator/Groom/Father. He who knows me better than I know myself, who gave Himself for me, who fashioned me for Himself, how can I run to anything else?
I wish that I could grasp His love for me. Because I know that then I would never have a glimmer of fear. Like little Marly, a baby friend of mine, who honestly believes that she will expire if her Momma is not holding her. She wants to see her Momma, sleep in her Momma's arms, be held at all times. She has no fear... as long as she is in her mother's embrace.
I want to be like her. I want to be desperate for my Father's arms. I want to be constantly looking for his eyes. I want to trust Him that implicitly.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
General Observations from Today
1. Never buy cereal that's been taped shut with Scotch tape. This rule applies to many other products as well.
2. Always look at 2 things before you sit down to use the bathroom in a house with children or men in it: the status of the toilet paper roll (70% chance that it's out) and the seat (60% chance of sprinkles)
3. Carefully check pictures of any vacation spot that calls itself a "resort". This word is used far too frequently nowadays. You could end up at a dude ranch in north Alabama.
4. Always seize the opportunity to stay up way too late talking to your best friend, especially if that best friend is your husband.
5. Cereal tastes really good when eaten late at night.
6. Children should never attempt a jump of more than 2 feet especially from a leather chair to a metal bed.
7. Starbucks tastes better when enjoyed with your friends.
8. Super glue works really well on gashes to the skull.
9. Never change routine abruptly on a high strung, dramatic child.
10. Tapestries costing $750 are not as heavy as you would think.
That's really all. Just thought I'd share.
2. Always look at 2 things before you sit down to use the bathroom in a house with children or men in it: the status of the toilet paper roll (70% chance that it's out) and the seat (60% chance of sprinkles)
3. Carefully check pictures of any vacation spot that calls itself a "resort". This word is used far too frequently nowadays. You could end up at a dude ranch in north Alabama.
4. Always seize the opportunity to stay up way too late talking to your best friend, especially if that best friend is your husband.
5. Cereal tastes really good when eaten late at night.
6. Children should never attempt a jump of more than 2 feet especially from a leather chair to a metal bed.
7. Starbucks tastes better when enjoyed with your friends.
8. Super glue works really well on gashes to the skull.
9. Never change routine abruptly on a high strung, dramatic child.
10. Tapestries costing $750 are not as heavy as you would think.
That's really all. Just thought I'd share.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
A Couple of Thoughts on The Gospel
I cannot imagine my childhood without church. My mom took me to church when I was 5 days old. Therefore, I cannot remember the first time I went. My kids are the same way. Only they remember only Community. If I sit here for a minute, I might could count the number of churches that I went to growing up..... 6 or 7, I think.
We went to mostly Southern Baptist churches with a random charismatic one and a dabble into Assembly of God. Presbyterians might as well have been aliens for all I knew of them. I became a Presbyterian, of my own volition, at the age of 17. And I've been one ever since. So it's a little strange to think that all my kids have ever known is PCA. I'm glad... it's just so different from my own childhood. The same pastor married their parents (Chris and I, for those of you who just got confused) and baptized all 4 of them. I have no recollection of most of my pastors' names. Anyway...
As Burt was preaching this morning, a contrast suddenly came to mind: the difference in the definition of the gospel in my life from childhood to now.
As a child, "the gospel" seemed like a forced march. Obligatory, straightforward, dull and not a little forbidding. Very clear cut: Jesus-died-on-the-cross-to-save-me-from-my-sins-and-if-you-don't-ask-Him-to-be-your-savior-you'll-die-and-go-to-hell. *said all in one breath* Simple. Dry. A little nebulous. And not at all compelling. It's what you told people to 'get them saved'.
But today, I realized that my response was vastly different. It's been a long time since I felt that way about the gospel. In knowing that my sin is deeper than I can grasp, I can begin to see the incomprehensible enormity of God's love for me. In knowing that He delights in me, that His anger has been satisfied on the cross, I can find my satisfaction in Him. In knowing that the penalty of all my sins has been paid, I can revel in His grace to me. And in knowing that "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?", I can cling to him for my sanctification.
The gospel means freedom. It is gentle, strong, deep, vast, powerful. It is the story of what Christ has done for us. He had no sin and therefore, deserved no punishment. Yet, he gave up his freedom and glory to take on the hideousness of my sin. He took the physical punishment and the agony of being separated from his Father. He exchanged my sin and guilt for his perfect righteousness. All because of his great love for me. Me, an imperfect, lying, arrogant, cheating sinner.
Before, it was a formula. Now the gospel is the only truth. And the truth will set you free. A freedom from the dictatorship of self.
We went to mostly Southern Baptist churches with a random charismatic one and a dabble into Assembly of God. Presbyterians might as well have been aliens for all I knew of them. I became a Presbyterian, of my own volition, at the age of 17. And I've been one ever since. So it's a little strange to think that all my kids have ever known is PCA. I'm glad... it's just so different from my own childhood. The same pastor married their parents (Chris and I, for those of you who just got confused) and baptized all 4 of them. I have no recollection of most of my pastors' names. Anyway...
As Burt was preaching this morning, a contrast suddenly came to mind: the difference in the definition of the gospel in my life from childhood to now.
As a child, "the gospel" seemed like a forced march. Obligatory, straightforward, dull and not a little forbidding. Very clear cut: Jesus-died-on-the-cross-to-save-me-from-my-sins-and-if-you-don't-ask-Him-to-be-your-savior-you'll-die-and-go-to-hell. *said all in one breath* Simple. Dry. A little nebulous. And not at all compelling. It's what you told people to 'get them saved'.
But today, I realized that my response was vastly different. It's been a long time since I felt that way about the gospel. In knowing that my sin is deeper than I can grasp, I can begin to see the incomprehensible enormity of God's love for me. In knowing that He delights in me, that His anger has been satisfied on the cross, I can find my satisfaction in Him. In knowing that the penalty of all my sins has been paid, I can revel in His grace to me. And in knowing that "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?", I can cling to him for my sanctification.
The gospel means freedom. It is gentle, strong, deep, vast, powerful. It is the story of what Christ has done for us. He had no sin and therefore, deserved no punishment. Yet, he gave up his freedom and glory to take on the hideousness of my sin. He took the physical punishment and the agony of being separated from his Father. He exchanged my sin and guilt for his perfect righteousness. All because of his great love for me. Me, an imperfect, lying, arrogant, cheating sinner.
Before, it was a formula. Now the gospel is the only truth. And the truth will set you free. A freedom from the dictatorship of self.
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