Focus

Today as Gracie was doing her reading, Chris turned on the television to watch as he folded clothes. Whereas Gracie had been reading like a champ before, now she was struggling. Had the words gotten harder? Nope. Was the sun in her eyes? Nu-uh.

Focus. It's all about focus. Where was she looking? It's pretty hard to read the words of a book when you're looking at the television. I had to keep doing things to get her attention back. Tap the book. Poke her leg. Call her name.

What does God do with me? I'm just like Gracie. I'm clicking right along, doing whatever it is I'm doing, earnestly seeking to glorify God... and *poke* Oh, yeah... what was I doing again? I look around in surprise. All the stuff is getting done, but where is my joy? Where is my motivation? Where is my focus?

I find myself in this position right now. The WIC event is Saturday. I look around and realize that I'm forcing things. Trying to get things done. Trying to make it all work. How did God point out that I'm not focused on Him? I look around and see the lack of joy and motivation in the people I'm with. And then I realize that they are feeding off of me.

What was our original purpose for this event? To glorify God by providing a safe environment for unbelieving women to come and hear the gospel. How do we do this? The seminars are for the purpose of having fun, learning new things and showing that all things are sacred. God is not separate from us. The luncheon is free so that we can give something lovely to the women to show them that we love them. There is childcare so that no woman is excluded. Every aspect of the event is built around the mission of showing the love of Christ to the women who come.

But instead, I caught myself turning it into tasks. "Martha, Martha." I rob the women I'm around of joy. I distract them from the passion of knowing Christ and showing his love to others.

I'm tired. Disappointed. Frustrated with my sin. I know that this event is in God's hands. I know that he's providing for the details. I pray for the handful of women that I know are coming that desperately need Christ. I pray that God's name will be glorified. I also pray that it won't be in spite of me.