Monday, July 14, 2008

Napkin Usage

What does a person's napkin say about them? I have no idea really but it's fun to pretend like I do.


The Twister - the napkin holder is unsure of themselves, nervous and afraid of saying something wrong or embarrassing. The Twister will hold the napkin until the last possible moment, refusing to give it up, as it provides much needed security.

The Wadder - this napkin holder is too consumed with their thoughts to give any consideration to the state of their napkin. The Wadder is highly engaged in interesting and challenging conversation, eating only while someone else has the floor.

The Multi-Folder - the Multi-Folder is a deeply thoughtful person who, though having much to contribute, rarely enters into the conversation, feeling that they are out of their element. They use their napkin to arrange and order their thoughts, possibly even to gather their courage to speak. The Folder likes order and control.

The Shredder - the shredder is an exaggeration of the Twister. The Shredder is sometimes accused of having a guilty conscience or of being OC. The Shredder is deeply fearful in social situations. Shredding is sometimes accompanied by tearful whimpering.

The Ignorer - the most hated of all, this non-napkin user tends to smack and wipe their mouth on their shirt or the tablecloth. The Ignorer also tends to interrupt conversations and talks with food in their mouth. Most children fall into this category.

The Single Folder - the most balanced of all napkin users, the Folder, while using their napkin appropriately, also engages in conversation, free from social awkwardness or controlling tendencies. The most enjoyable person at the table to sit beside.

I hope you've enjoyed this purely fanciful waste of time. I know I did.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about one who pokes a hole in the napkin, folds it, pokes a hole and continues this process till it is shredded? Would that be a shredder, a folder, or just plain OC??

Kim said...

I'm thinking I'm a shredder, since I destroy most things at the table if I am engaged in conversation.

Silas is DEFINITELY an ignorer. He's the very definition.

Emma said...

I'm a multi-folder. But I usually don't have that much to contribute.

Paige M said...

I'm a Wadder with a multi-folder personality. But I usually only have a tiny shred of napkin, because I forget to give my kids one and then I tear mine and give each of them pieces of mine beacause I'm too lazy to get another one and won't let my kids up from the table!

Too much info, huh?

Anonymous said...

i'm a wadder. brian always says t me he knows when i'm done with my food because i wad my napkin up on top of my plate. my brother, on the other hand, would be a shredder. i swear the boy cannot sit still. if he's not shredding his napkin he's tapping the table with a peice of silverware. freak.

Anne Marie W. said...

I think I'm a Wadder or a Multi-folder...depending on my mood. All three of my girls are Ignorers...wiping their hands on their shirts, like cavemen. I think I buy a bottle of Shout every visit to Walmart. Hey, check out my blog...I got some good pics of your children.

Kimmipeach@gmail.com said...

i am a multi-folder at serious meals and a wadder all other times. yes, i know that i have two sides. lol

j_webb said...

I try to be a Single Folder when I eat out. But when I'm done ,I still wad my napkin. At home I am a Wadder for sure.

P.S. -I wad up napkins on my plate to signal the server that I have completed my meal and am ready for the removal of the plate so that he or she can get to the business of bringing my dessert and coffee. ... Don't you hate it when they leave the plates there for 20 minutes after you're done? Almost as if they want you to hurry and leave. It is a fact people in restaurants stay longer when the table is cleared. So next time this happens to you - WAD.

Les said...

I am the exact same as Kim P! I actually mostly multi-fold, unless I'm at your house or holding Marlee. It's hard to pull off a multi-fold w/one hand. I'm a wadder when necessary!

Brandon E said...

Most of my family are folders, unless ribs are involved. Mel's family are wadders. Our kids are doomed

Missy said...

I am a Wadder that is very impressed with the time you took to let us all figure out what kind of napkin person we are!

Hannah said...

I'm a Wadder with Shredder tendencies.

Haha.

When i'm actually eating, and using the napkin, I keep it in a wad in my hand. But when i've finished eating and am not immediately
getting up to go do something else, say i'm sitting talking with someone, i'll tear my napkin into billions of tiny little pieces.


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