This is a post that's been simmering in my mind for quite some time. I've noticed that people think very differently about toilet paper.
I have friends who hate buying it. They feel it's a waste of money. After all, all you do with it is wipe your rear. Thus, they buy the cheapest kind available. It offends their financial sensibilities to do any less. They also buy in bulk. And when I say bulk, I mean b-u-l-k. Like dozens of rolls at a time. And to have to buy more only causes annoyance that borders on anger.
But...
I also have friends who carry a roll with them when they go places. They will only use one brand... a very expensive brand. Thick, soft, 2 or 3 ply. And God forbid it leave any residue. They carry toilet paper camping, to hotels, on outings, to other peoples' homes when they spend the night. They are deeply committed to their toilet paper. They feel that toilet paper and what we do with it is what separates us from the animals (that and the whole opposable thumb thing).
While I...
Am somewhere in the middle. Yes, we just use toilet paper to wipe our rear ends, but at the same time, we use it to wipe our rear ends. That's pretty high up on the things that I think are important scale. I refuse to use leaves or the Sears catalogue. There's no way I'm using anything that has to be washed. And if I must wipe, I want to be clean and comfortable. Thus, Scott tissue offends me. What's the point of it? I might as well go grab a leaf for all the good it does. But I'm not gonna spend big bucks for something that I'm gonna flush. So that leaves me somewhere in the middle.
Middle price
Middle softness
Middle comfort-level
Well, those are my thoughts on the subject. Oh, I almost forgot...
Toilet paper commercials. I don't like them. I know that I use toilet paper, and I don't like thinking about it. I'd really, really rather not think about other people using it. Or whether they're clean enough or chafed or the most disgusting commercial ever... does your toilet paper leave 'fuzzies'? Ugh. Blech. *shudder* La.La.La. Not listening to you....
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12 comments:
I like Northern 2 ply myself. My Mom uses Scott I agree what is the point if you have to use half a roll is that cheaper. That is "John Wayne toilet paper" as Darrin would say. Ask me the punch line I can't type it.
I agree with you, Crissy. I am also somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I just buy whatever brand I have a coupon for....as long as it's not Scott. Thanks for making me think of the toilet. I'll think of you next time I sit.
I almost couldn't read this post because I am laughing soooo hard!!!!
First of all, we all know that Kim Hill is the one that hates to buy TP and therefore buys enough to fill a World War II bunker with it.
I have never in my life heard of a person that carries around TP because they can't use any other kind...are you freakin serious?
In Africa we did carry TP around, but thats just for obvious reasons!
I use Scott...I am sorry. I like it. The soft stuff does not fair well on my delicate little daughter and I.
Seriously...HILARIOUS post!
Hate Charmin. I grew up with it because my Dad just had to have it in the house. We buy Cottonale, the commercial with the puppy. You got to love it. I HATE the Charmin comercial with the bears. It's just not cute.
There is a similar philosophy on Paper Towels. I used to love Viva, but they are freakin' expensive. But not they leave lint in my hands so I don't like that brand anymore. Currently shopping for a new brand.
This post was halarious. Thank you for the morning laugh.
Scott is used exclusively in our house, so you cant come over unless you bring your own roll. Plus, Mel's dad worked for Kimberly Clarke, my work sells it, so we must remain paycheck loyal.
I love the look on the cashier's face when you buy tp in bulk. She's not really sure what to say. But then, its also fun to go to the checkout line with a hunting knife, duct tape, and a ski mask while talking about how much you hate your parole officer.
You are so 'flicted. But you make me laugh!
B-U-L-K. Toilet paper Sam's Brand. Paper towels Sam's Brand. Dishwash Detergent Sam's Brand. Garbage Bags. Kitty Litter. Cheezits. Popcorn. GoLean Crunch.
I do hate to buy tp. It does make me mad when I buy it. I make the Fred Flinstone cussing noise when I have to buy it. It's a good thing I don't know anybody who's weird about PEANUT BUTTER. And the lack of having it.
I use Scott. I've used other stuff but the roll runs out too quickly and my husband complains that I use too much. Hence, the big roll for me. (i'm not being disrespectful - he's behind me reading, and he confirms i use too much) Then i can use a lot and not feel i'm wasting money. My thought is that it is better to use too much than too little! But I think it does better than LEAVES. hmph.
boo
I like to use better than average TP. the cheeeeep stuff like scott is hardly worth buying. Yes it is one time use for refuse, but it has to get the job done with-out bleeding through, tearing or chafing. When I was a bachelor I went to the supermarket, calculated a price per square inch and found Charmin or Angel Soft to be acceptable. it had sufficient tensile strength, absorption and squares per roll. I went through a roll a month, maybe! so to me it was much more worth while to buy decent stuff and have a comfortable clean up than to pinch pennies for something that could leave you hemorrhagic.
Since getting married I have found my wife to be of a different persuasion. our first week together we went through two rolls of my supply and found ourselves at W-mart making one of our first "couple decisions". this is still a sticking point with me, but I choose to let the wife prevail in preference. the economics of the whole thing are quite different from my bachelor days due to volume of use.
Ok, no one can call call me "'flicted" after Mr M's post.
read my blog on this subject.
Women use way too much TP! Especially the ones with small bladders who go ump-teen times a day. I can hear the paper whizzing off the roll now..whhhirrrrrr. About 15 squares folded 6 times for a....."Pat" then into the septic tank! Yes, the ole septic tank, that thing that crosses a woman's mind about as often as Trace Donahoo posts on his blog...rarely. It's like they think whatever goes down the drain or toilet magically disappears forever!
Septic tanks are fragile environments that need to be considered when flushing ....or washing things down the drain...like, ummm BACON GREASE. That's another subject.
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