Observations: Bad Music, Bad Dancers, Bad Chairs and Perfect Bites

Kim and I went to Nashville Monday and Tuesday to be with our Dad when he had surgery. He's fine by the way. I made a few observations over the course of two days.

1. Kim was scanning radio stations on the trip up. We came across a woman singing what was obviously "Christian music". Why is that most Christian music is so completely sub-par and uncreative. I mean, I would have recognized the woman's genre even if she was singing a foreign language. "The king came down with his crown.... praise his precious name." Sung loudly and with much vibrato. Ugh.


2. At every bar, there will be at least one "bad dancer". I don't just mean someone who cannot dance, I'm talking about this special breed of woman who is on the prowl. So she jiggles her way around seeking whom she may devour. 9 times out of 10 her clothes are from the 80's and way too tight. Her hair is usually an attention getter. And her dancing style is singularly unique. I can't even describe it. But they always dance the same way. I could give social commentary or gospel application but I won't.

3. Eating a salad is something of an art form. You don't just dig in like you would a bowl of soup. It requires the perfect bite. You scoot the pieces around until you discover The Bite and then eat it. Then you look for that next Perfect Bite. Once all Perfect Bites are eaten, you're done. You're left with a few pieces of lettuce with no dressing or a piece of tomato with the stem showing. The bits that are marred and unworthy of being eaten. And if the salad is unusually large, you'll eat too much because you keep seeing Perfect Bites. And they cannot be saved for another time. No doggie bags. No waiting until you're hungry again. Salad has a very short lifespan. Once room temp, it's lost to you forever.

4. Hospital waiting room chairs are a crime against humanity. You're already emotionally uncomfortable and now, thanks to some unknown designer, you're physically uncomfortable. Which you can handle... for the first 4 hours. After which you pace. Not out of fear and worry but in protest of the stupid chairs. You will show the chairs that you can live perfectly well without them. "See? I'm walking and happy about it." But then fatigue sets in, the chairs sing their siren song and you cave. You sit. Maybe you try to sleep. But no, that won't work, because the designer has thoughtfully put extra metal and no padding on any area that you could possibly lean against. I have a suspicion that the designers are in cahoots with the hospital administrators. After all, you eat more food out of the vending machines in a vain attempt to comfort yourselves.

5. People in Nashville don't drive any better than people in Birmingham.

6. Mexican Train isn't nearly as fun with just 2 people.

I would tell you about the keyboard player of the band at B.B King's but it's too funny and will require more time to tell that I have immediately available. I'll tell you later.