Thursday, November 06, 2008

Have you ever wondered if you're crazy? Have you ever wondered if you're reading more into a situation than is actually there?

I am in that place. Gracie finished her antibiotics this morning. But her weird symptoms of abdominal cramping, side pain and neck pain that she had at the very beginning have started again. So... we're back at the doctor tonight. Dr. F is not on call tonight, will not be back on call until Monday. So we're seeing Dr.L. and what a waste of time that has been. Well, not completely, at least he ordered a urine culture. And he wants to put her on another round of antibiotics until we get the results on Monday.

But it's like that dream where you're standing in the middle of a crowd and you scream and you scream and no one notices. I knew he wouldn't listen to me. And he didn't. He has no intentions of even thinking of the possibility that there might be something going on besides a UTI.

On the other hand, maybe there really is nothing wrong. Maybe she's still weak and recovering. Maybe she just has weird pains like that and it's normal for her. Maybe... but then why is she waking me up at 3am crying because her stomach hurts?

So I'm left having no idea what I should do. No inkling of reassurance that if something is wrong that anyone will find it anytime soon. No other option but to trust God. And try not to obsess over it.

I'm frustrated. I just wish I could know what's going on inside her.

5 comments:

Laura said...

I can see how you'd be frustrated. She seemed fine at my house all afternoon today!

Anonymous said...

I can understand your frustration. She's your child, how can you not worry! Maybe its time for a second opinion, someone who will listen to you. I don't think you're crazy. You just want your baby healthy.

heather said...

You are not crazy. A mother knows her child better than any doctor. You are her voice scream if you have to.

Missy said...

I agree. You may just have to go all Mama Bear on them. They are Drs. They are supposed to be getting paid to listen to their patients. If they won't listen to your voice, it's time for a big ole bear claw to come swoop down and knock some heads off.
In Jesus love of course.

wp said...

i ditto missy :)

Grateful Introspection

Sometimes when a person is expressing gratitude, others call their words a "humble brag". Ty explained this to me. The person is a...