Have you ever wondered if you're crazy? Have you ever wondered if you're reading more into a situation than is actually there?

I am in that place. Gracie finished her antibiotics this morning. But her weird symptoms of abdominal cramping, side pain and neck pain that she had at the very beginning have started again. So... we're back at the doctor tonight. Dr. F is not on call tonight, will not be back on call until Monday. So we're seeing Dr.L. and what a waste of time that has been. Well, not completely, at least he ordered a urine culture. And he wants to put her on another round of antibiotics until we get the results on Monday.

But it's like that dream where you're standing in the middle of a crowd and you scream and you scream and no one notices. I knew he wouldn't listen to me. And he didn't. He has no intentions of even thinking of the possibility that there might be something going on besides a UTI.

On the other hand, maybe there really is nothing wrong. Maybe she's still weak and recovering. Maybe she just has weird pains like that and it's normal for her. Maybe... but then why is she waking me up at 3am crying because her stomach hurts?

So I'm left having no idea what I should do. No inkling of reassurance that if something is wrong that anyone will find it anytime soon. No other option but to trust God. And try not to obsess over it.

I'm frustrated. I just wish I could know what's going on inside her.