Sunday, November 09, 2008

Affection. Love. These are incredibly powerful things. They seem to fill something in me that longs to be filled. I can thing of several relationships in my life to which these words apply.



My husband is one, obviously. Just sitting in bed right now, knowing that if I laid my head down on his chest I would hear his heart softly pounding, makes me feel whole in a way that cannot be explained. He is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. His very existence brings out a part of me that would not exist otherwise.



My children. To watch them grow and learn and be witty is... something for which I have no words. Really. They are people, not just my kids. I know that sounds simplistic but as a parent it is something that you realize anew. They start out as an extension of you. They depend on you completely. But then they get older. They feed themselves, even cook for themselves. They bathe themselves. They dress themselves, in their own chosen style. It's very cool to witness the birth of a personality. And yet... they are mine. They call me 'Momma'. Crazy but true.



I have other relationships that bring out love and affection. If you asked me who my favorite non-ChrisSharp person in the world was, at the top of that list would be my cousin Brad. I wish that I were as funny and wise as he. He makes me laugh and be proud of my maiden name. I wish he lived closer, South Florida is too far away. He and his terrific wife are coming for Christmas and I am wildly excited. It is so edifying to just be near them. (My best friend tells people that Brad is just me, only he's a boy. If that's true, maybe I just have deep affection for myself... entirely possible.)



Adam and Jessica. It's weird with them. My joy at their success is unparalleled. Their joy fills me with joy. Their gifts bless me like nothing else. I watch their life and marvel at the overwhelming goodness and creativity of God. They can express some of God's attributes in ways that I never could.



With certain friends there is a deep intimacy that takes time and overcoming conflict to have. I see how God has taken hurt feelings and selfishness and turned it for his glory. He redeems these friendships. He is good.



I'm sleepy now. My Benadryl is kicking in. But I have to say that sometimes it is startling to see how God is continually stretching my heart to hold new affections. As I am being changed into his likeness, I am also being given the ability to love others. And to accept love in return. We love because God is love. We love because he first loved us.



I could type all night and not be able to describe the way I see each of you, the way I love each of you. But I believe in heaven we'll be able to know.

3 comments:

Missy said...

We both got all sloshy and sentimental on our blogs today. Wuz up wit dat?
Those where good things though. I'm glad we're still not friends.

Sorry we missed the party. Sundays are a bit crazy around here.

Anonymous said...

You and Missy are making me all teary eyed today. Don't you know I'm in a fragile state! Beautiful words, dearest. My favorite part is the last paragraph. Won't it be nice to look over at your brothers and sisters in heaven when we are all together and just "know".

heather said...

I love how love grows it is so much sweeter now and I am so much more thankful for it.

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