By Jack Handey
"When you go for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between, plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big 'thing.' This is truth, to me."
"You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea."
He makes me laugh.
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classic
If you are being chased by an angry bull and realize you are also being chased by a swarm of angry bees, it doesn't really change things. Just keep on runing.
LOL!!! I love these so much. I just don't think they will ever get old.
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