I want to post. I have much going on. Many things that I could say. I just feel uninspired. And tired. And just a little smidge grumpy.
I'm in the midst of spring cleaning. Which, by the way, has never happened in the spring. Always in the winter. Why is that? Anyway, I've cleaned my baseboards and cabinets. I've dusted. (I only do that a couple times a year. Don't tell my Nanny. She scrubs her walls and dusts every week.) Tomorrow I'm cleaning my carpets.
I've been really whiny for 2 days. Not sure why. I want to lose myself in a really good book. I want to write. I want to be where I am not and do 'something else'. I'm just discontent. Eerrrr. I growl at myself. I am annoyed at my own discontent.
I am also insecure. That little weirdness is coming out to remind me that I am a fraud, a pest and a joke. People around me already know these things about me, they're just too nice to say it. I tell this voice to shut up. I am loved. I am beautiful. I am righteous and forgiven. I am delighted in.
I need the gospel. I need to scream it to myself until I listen. I have everything I need for life and godliness. I have the Spirit. The Father has chosen me and will never change His mind.
I feel better now. Think I'll go to sleep. See you later.
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5 comments:
Allow me to be brutally honest... you are loved, you are beautiful, you are forgiven, you are righteous, and you are delighted in. I know coming from me it's not nearly as significant as coming from Jesus but I thought I would tell you anyway! And just so you know, I don't blow smoke up anyones skirt. Now, Mrs. Sharp, please go get a book, lock your bathroom door and take a nice bubble bath.
I was just fixing to slice my wrists open. Phew... thank Melissa!
I'm sticking with a fraud, pest and a joke... ;-)
Sweetie,
You are WAAAYYY harder on yourself than anyone else is, especially your Abba. Know that He and I love you. Let me know if I can help. ;)
Kimmi
keep preaching the gospel to yourself...it helps me to do the same. thanks for the post. i feel the same way ALOT and it's encouraging to see you run to Jesus.
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