My Stupid Mouth

Have any of you ever said something that you regret later? Come on... 'fess up. You know you have. Something like.... you look across the room and comment on how much that guy coming in looks just like a hobbit and the woman next to you says.."That's my husband." That sort of thing.

Shockingly, I do that a lot. I got mad at Gracie the other day as we were getting out of the van at Food World because she had not obeyed me and put her shoes on before we got there. My comment? "No, Gracie. You cannot go barefoot. We are NOT rednecks. We do not go into stores without our shoes!" Guess who was sitting in the next parking spot, with their windows down? A car load of rednecks. Yes. I am totally serious.

In instances like that, of which there are several, I try to quickly forget it. I try to convince myself that it was an honest mistake. Or I am pounded into the floor by the voice of my Mother in my head quoting from the book of James about controlling my tongue. Which in turn, makes me resolve to try harder to do better.

But guess what? What the comment about rednecks shows, is a deep and abiding arrogance. It shows me that appearance means too much to me. It shows me that there is more sin in my life than I can imagine. It goes way deeper than surface stuff. I have a standard that must be upheld. I taught it to my kids that night, and the people in the car beside me. How is that "full of grace"? How does that show the love of Christ to anyone? It doesn't. And that deep pride is what I need to repent of, not just the hurtful comment.

Yes, I should think before I speak. Yes, I should control my tongue. But more importantly, I should remember that Christ came and sought out the "rednecks". He ate with them and was their champion. He rescued them and blessed their children. He died for them. He sought out the undesirable ones. I for one, don't want to be viewed as undesirable. I want to be self-sufficient and liked. It is humbling and occassionally offensive to know that I am a 'loser'. But I am. And thank God for it. It's a beautiful thing to know that I'm not worthy and He knows that and wants me anyway. What does Matthew 5:3 say? Isn't it something like, Blessed are the rednecks, the ones who have nothing to offer, the poor?

I have nothing to offer other than my good works, which are like dirty tampons to Him. I'm sorry if that grosses you out or seems shocking but that's what he calls our good works in Isaiah 64:6. That's what 'filthy rags' are. My arrogance is a slap in the face to the Love of Christ. It says that I am better than my Savior. I want to have something of value to offer Him. But I don't. And that is what the very definition of Grace is. John 15:16 says "You did not choose me, but I chose you." From the foundation of the world, He knew my name. And who knows, maybe even now He's calling one of the people in that car at Food World.