Being Stubborn

We have a rental property. We've had it for a number of years and to be honest, it's a bit of a hassle. It's worth it but it can be a pain. We don't make any money off of it but it can be used to help people. We're about to rent it out again and have to redo the power service connection. When Chris tried to get under the trailer, we discovered boxes of junk had been stored under there. They've been there for who knows how long and are now infested with spiders and antbeds. AAHHHH!!! I have to get under there today while Chris is sleeping and clean it out so that the meter can be installed tomorrow.

In this situation, my attitude stinks. I know it and feel completely entitled to it. I mean, renters should have integrity. If they owe you money, they should pay. If they're supposed to clean it up when they move, they should clean. If they're supposed to empty the refrigerator, they should empty it - not let it sit there with no power to it for 2 weeks until I discover it on my own. Gross! People should keep their promises. Even if they don't feel like it.

As I sit here, I know I'm being stubborn. I know I'm being judgemental. I know, in my head, that I'm in sin. But it feels completely justified. So what do I do? Wallow a little more? Maybe. Forgive? I don't wanna.

How does one forgive anyway? I always thought it was this sort of condescending practice of letting someone off the hook. Or maybe even making excuses for them. That's always been my favorite. But I have come to realize that forgiving someone else has more to do with my sin that theirs. It's me forcing my eyes to be open to all my sins and admitting that I'm just as bad as the person who wronged me. Spiritually, it feels like Brody looks when I'm trying to give him antibiotics: mouth and eyes clenched shut, hands balled into fists, trying to get away. I know that my medicine(the gospel) is my only hope but I'd rather be sick than repent. Sad, isn't it?

To see my own sinfulness, makes the sin of others look pale in comparison. To see the great, great love of God towards me while I was still dead in my sins leads me straight to forgiveness. To forgive, gives me the freedom to clean up their mess without anger. Sure they're still wrong, they should have kept their word but that's between them and God. I can feel empathy for someone stuck in their sin. After all, that describes me most of the time.