Captivating!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
I Like Music... duh!
My kids pointed out to me the other day that I really love music. My first response was that I love music, of course, but no more than your average mother. After a few discreet inquiries, I'm not so sure that is completely true.
The first thing I do in the morning is turn on music. I have 4 playlists on Project Playlist, 5 channels on Pandora, plus all of my music on Windows Media. I have music for every occasion. In the van, I have my Zune and if it goes dead, Maggie has her phone, and if it goes dead, we have cds, and worst case scenario- there's always the radio.
For school, something soothing like Sufjan Stevens or Over the Rhine or maybe Deathcab for Cutie.
For cleaning and cooking, I have my playlist with Beyonce, Lady Gaga, JT, Outkast, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Gwen Stephani.
For reading, I have my Chopin station on Pandora.
For general usage, I have my playlist on this blog.
In the van, the only time music is not playing is when I'm listening to NPR or a book on CD.
Gracie went so far as to say that I love music more than reading. Huh. I had no idea. I think I love reading more, but when do I have time to spend all day reading?
The first thing I do in the morning is turn on music. I have 4 playlists on Project Playlist, 5 channels on Pandora, plus all of my music on Windows Media. I have music for every occasion. In the van, I have my Zune and if it goes dead, Maggie has her phone, and if it goes dead, we have cds, and worst case scenario- there's always the radio.
For school, something soothing like Sufjan Stevens or Over the Rhine or maybe Deathcab for Cutie.
For cleaning and cooking, I have my playlist with Beyonce, Lady Gaga, JT, Outkast, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Gwen Stephani.
For reading, I have my Chopin station on Pandora.
For general usage, I have my playlist on this blog.
In the van, the only time music is not playing is when I'm listening to NPR or a book on CD.
Gracie went so far as to say that I love music more than reading. Huh. I had no idea. I think I love reading more, but when do I have time to spend all day reading?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Learning How to Think
"I was just thinking". Now that's a good phrase to hear. Especially from my kids. I used to think that people are born knowing how to think, but the older I get the more I realize how untrue that is. Well, maybe I should clarify: people are not born knowing how to think correctly.
I guess it goes back to the Fall. Everything fell, even our intellect. And even if we think really hard, our starting point is usually flawed. It's sort of like evolutionists: they presuppose the Earth's age at billions of years old and go from there. Everything that comes after is flawed because their presupposition is wrong.
Hmmm. Where was I going with this.... Oh yeah. Thinking. As I grow in grace I realize how lazy I am in my thinking and when I do think, I usually start with what I feel or like instead of truth.
Example:
I decide I need to spend more time with Gracie because I think she is struggling with fear. I remember struggling with fear as a child. I felt unsafe as a child. I felt like I needed to protect my parents as a child. Therefore, Gracie needs me to show her that I will protect her.
Presupposition 1: Gracie has the same kind of childhood that I did.
Presupposition 2: My love is enough to calm her fears.
Both are wrong. Her childhood is very different from mine. And according to 1John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear. Hmmm. I guess that excludes me.
So what does she need then? A correct, Biblical worldview presupposes that we are created for God and our deepest need is for him. So... she needs Christ. She needs the gospel.
My actions toward her may be the same as before: pray with her, snuggle with her, let her leave her nightlight on, etc. But my reason for doing those things is different. And one thing I have learned is that people, children especially, learn what you believe more than they learn what you say.
I guess it goes back to the Fall. Everything fell, even our intellect. And even if we think really hard, our starting point is usually flawed. It's sort of like evolutionists: they presuppose the Earth's age at billions of years old and go from there. Everything that comes after is flawed because their presupposition is wrong.
Hmmm. Where was I going with this.... Oh yeah. Thinking. As I grow in grace I realize how lazy I am in my thinking and when I do think, I usually start with what I feel or like instead of truth.
Example:
I decide I need to spend more time with Gracie because I think she is struggling with fear. I remember struggling with fear as a child. I felt unsafe as a child. I felt like I needed to protect my parents as a child. Therefore, Gracie needs me to show her that I will protect her.
Presupposition 1: Gracie has the same kind of childhood that I did.
Presupposition 2: My love is enough to calm her fears.
Both are wrong. Her childhood is very different from mine. And according to 1John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear. Hmmm. I guess that excludes me.
So what does she need then? A correct, Biblical worldview presupposes that we are created for God and our deepest need is for him. So... she needs Christ. She needs the gospel.
My actions toward her may be the same as before: pray with her, snuggle with her, let her leave her nightlight on, etc. But my reason for doing those things is different. And one thing I have learned is that people, children especially, learn what you believe more than they learn what you say.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Glimpses
Sometimes your children do small, seemingly insignificant things that give you a tiny little glimpse of the person they will become. And it's simply amazing when that little glimpse makes you giddy with excitement for that day to come.
(Sidenote - I think a person's taste in music tells me more about our potential friendship their words ever could. Truly.)
That being said... go listen to Maggie's playlist on her blog. It's a little glimpse that she and I are going to be great friends one day... *smile*
(Sidenote - I think a person's taste in music tells me more about our potential friendship their words ever could. Truly.)
That being said... go listen to Maggie's playlist on her blog. It's a little glimpse that she and I are going to be great friends one day... *smile*
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Dear Santa
I would like to make a note of the few things that I want for Christmas. I know it seems childish, but if I don't write it down I'll forget them.
1. I want some good slippers. I have none and my feet get cold. But my husband gets annoyed when I walk around in socks because it will wear holes in them. Need slippers.
2. Chopin's Nocturnes. Because they are just so beautiful.
3. An under-the-counter can opener. Mine is old and broken and I miss it.
4. New candles. I haven't bought any in probably three years and you can tell. Pitiful.
That's all I've thought of so far. Maybe I'll add to the list later...
1. I want some good slippers. I have none and my feet get cold. But my husband gets annoyed when I walk around in socks because it will wear holes in them. Need slippers.
2. Chopin's Nocturnes. Because they are just so beautiful.
3. An under-the-counter can opener. Mine is old and broken and I miss it.
4. New candles. I haven't bought any in probably three years and you can tell. Pitiful.
That's all I've thought of so far. Maybe I'll add to the list later...
Friday, November 06, 2009
Ridiculous Rambling
I hate that I don't blog much anymore. There are so many times that I'm out and about and think of a post topic but by the time I get to a place where I can do something with it, I forget! It's pretty annoying.
The age of the blog is somewhat past I think. Facebook has taken over. FB is more about instant gratification and quantity over quality. Which has its appeal, even for me. But the good old blog that makes you slow down, settle in and absorb has its appeal too.
My schedule is sooo close to slowing down. For those of you who read this and don't know my schedule of late, let's suffice it to say, I've had obligations every day of the week since August. Football for both boys has now headed into the playoffs, meaning we're almost done for the year. Ballet and music still continues. But football has taken up three nights a week and all of Saturday.
Football has been so fulfilling. Brody and Ty have learned a lot about the game and themselves. Plus they've made lots of friends. I've gotten the opportunity to meet some new people too. All of this figures into learning how to plant a church, meeting people and longing for ways to share the gospel with them.
I wish church planting was a clear and concise thing, but alas, it is not. I'm learning to find the sensation of being completely out of control reassuring. It's when I feel like I'm doing it right that I start to take ownership of it. And that always ends badly.
I need a haircut. Anyone know how to do that? For free? ... Hmmm. Anyone? Beuller?
The age of the blog is somewhat past I think. Facebook has taken over. FB is more about instant gratification and quantity over quality. Which has its appeal, even for me. But the good old blog that makes you slow down, settle in and absorb has its appeal too.
My schedule is sooo close to slowing down. For those of you who read this and don't know my schedule of late, let's suffice it to say, I've had obligations every day of the week since August. Football for both boys has now headed into the playoffs, meaning we're almost done for the year. Ballet and music still continues. But football has taken up three nights a week and all of Saturday.
Football has been so fulfilling. Brody and Ty have learned a lot about the game and themselves. Plus they've made lots of friends. I've gotten the opportunity to meet some new people too. All of this figures into learning how to plant a church, meeting people and longing for ways to share the gospel with them.
I wish church planting was a clear and concise thing, but alas, it is not. I'm learning to find the sensation of being completely out of control reassuring. It's when I feel like I'm doing it right that I start to take ownership of it. And that always ends badly.
I need a haircut. Anyone know how to do that? For free? ... Hmmm. Anyone? Beuller?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Being Missional
Missy and I are having a great time making up life stories for everyone we meet. So far, 'Patricia' has quite the sordid past. She's slightly damaged. 'Jorge', her husband tries to help her but she needs more than he can give.
'Hank' sat in the hot tub for several hours talking to 'Richard' about the rogue crabs that try to take over the condo pool during the night. No conclusions were reached.
Across the way, in the other building we watched as 'Ethel' lost her hair money to 'Estelle'. Bless her heart. It was probably because 'Estelle' made her sit in a really uncomfortable chair, knowing that she has a bad back. Their husbands, Bill and Henry, sat in the other room composing new southern gospel music for their band, The Blue Hair Group. They're really popular.
'Joe' the maintanence guy had to close up the pool early so he could get home to his 400 pound wife, cause she needs her doughnuts.
Today, we met the other Joe, who's real name turned out to be Colin which made me very happy. Anyways, Joe (aka Colin) let us use the chairs and umbrella for free, but we had to pay $20 to look at him. It was a steal really. We're gonna sell some stuff out of the condo to get some more money for tomorrow.
'Hank' sat in the hot tub for several hours talking to 'Richard' about the rogue crabs that try to take over the condo pool during the night. No conclusions were reached.
Across the way, in the other building we watched as 'Ethel' lost her hair money to 'Estelle'. Bless her heart. It was probably because 'Estelle' made her sit in a really uncomfortable chair, knowing that she has a bad back. Their husbands, Bill and Henry, sat in the other room composing new southern gospel music for their band, The Blue Hair Group. They're really popular.
'Joe' the maintanence guy had to close up the pool early so he could get home to his 400 pound wife, cause she needs her doughnuts.
Today, we met the other Joe, who's real name turned out to be Colin which made me very happy. Anyways, Joe (aka Colin) let us use the chairs and umbrella for free, but we had to pay $20 to look at him. It was a steal really. We're gonna sell some stuff out of the condo to get some more money for tomorrow.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Maggie's Words
Maggie has a new blog and I like it very much. I need to help her change the settings for comments though; it wouldn't let me leave one...
I like her writings. I like the way her mind works. I always have. I remember once, when she was in second grade, she decided to get creative with her sentences for spelling. I remember one in particular, I'll put the spelling words in italics. "Sarah Wilkes is jelly and I will have happiness." Funny.
She should write more, I think. Check it and see if you agree.
www.margaretsharp.blogspot.com
I like her writings. I like the way her mind works. I always have. I remember once, when she was in second grade, she decided to get creative with her sentences for spelling. I remember one in particular, I'll put the spelling words in italics. "Sarah Wilkes is jelly and I will have happiness." Funny.
She should write more, I think. Check it and see if you agree.
www.margaretsharp.blogspot.com
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Fundamental Differences
There are fundamental differences between boys and girls. If someone tries to tell you this is untrue, what they're really telling you is that they have no children of their own, and in fact, have never met anyone under the age of 18.
A girl is handed a Barbie doll and immediately begins to plan a wedding. A boy, given the same doll, immediately begins to plan a death. I have heard one of my sons give his sister the following advice: "You need to take it to the pool house next time and try to drown it. I bet it'll make bubbles." His sister looked at him in horror and clutched her doll to her chest.
Girls tend not to laugh at each other as play. They may laugh at someone who's not there but not each other. It's just not funny. They will get their feelings hurt and cry and uninvite people to their party, even if that party is nine months in the future.
Boys see a stick and fall in love. I've never seen one of my daughters do this. A stick is... well, a stick. But a boy sees the same random piece of wood and catches his breath. He must have this stick. (Not unlike my father who, seeing a bolt in the middle of a busy intersection, will risk his life to obtain it.) A stick is full of magic. It can be a gun, a sword, a lightsaber, a battle axe, (are you seeing a pattern here?) even a machete. A stick can save an empire. Unless your sister, completely unaware of its power, throws it into the bonfire. Then of course, the empire is on hold until a suitable replacement can be found.
In the same vein, when boys play, you hear the word "die" a lot. Sometimes in quick succession. (ie. "Die! Die! Die!) Not so with girls. Girls say things like "pretty" and "silly" and "ohhhh!". Boys and girls playing together? Well then you hear things like "That's stupid" or "Stop it!" or "Whatever."
I've never seen my daughters do tricks with their, um, privates. Boys however, well that's a different story. Many a conversation has been halted because the introductory sentence was, "Momma, did you know that a penis can..." Aahhhhh! Stop talking. Stop. Talking. Now. My children learned the word "inappropriate" at a very young age.
There can be similarities between boys and girls though. Let me see... they both eat. And sleep. And, um, nope... that's all I've got in the similarities department. I'm sure with some thought I could come up with more, but right now... nope. I got nothin'.
A girl is handed a Barbie doll and immediately begins to plan a wedding. A boy, given the same doll, immediately begins to plan a death. I have heard one of my sons give his sister the following advice: "You need to take it to the pool house next time and try to drown it. I bet it'll make bubbles." His sister looked at him in horror and clutched her doll to her chest.
Girls tend not to laugh at each other as play. They may laugh at someone who's not there but not each other. It's just not funny. They will get their feelings hurt and cry and uninvite people to their party, even if that party is nine months in the future.
Boys see a stick and fall in love. I've never seen one of my daughters do this. A stick is... well, a stick. But a boy sees the same random piece of wood and catches his breath. He must have this stick. (Not unlike my father who, seeing a bolt in the middle of a busy intersection, will risk his life to obtain it.) A stick is full of magic. It can be a gun, a sword, a lightsaber, a battle axe, (are you seeing a pattern here?) even a machete. A stick can save an empire. Unless your sister, completely unaware of its power, throws it into the bonfire. Then of course, the empire is on hold until a suitable replacement can be found.
In the same vein, when boys play, you hear the word "die" a lot. Sometimes in quick succession. (ie. "Die! Die! Die!) Not so with girls. Girls say things like "pretty" and "silly" and "ohhhh!". Boys and girls playing together? Well then you hear things like "That's stupid" or "Stop it!" or "Whatever."
I've never seen my daughters do tricks with their, um, privates. Boys however, well that's a different story. Many a conversation has been halted because the introductory sentence was, "Momma, did you know that a penis can..." Aahhhhh! Stop talking. Stop. Talking. Now. My children learned the word "inappropriate" at a very young age.
There can be similarities between boys and girls though. Let me see... they both eat. And sleep. And, um, nope... that's all I've got in the similarities department. I'm sure with some thought I could come up with more, but right now... nope. I got nothin'.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My Saturday
So we spent the day in Chelsea at the football field. And by all day, I mean 8am to 4:30pm... all day. I took all my kids plus Bren and Ellas. It was a long day but not really a bad day. We watched the games and cheered until our heads hurt. We went to Hargis between games and ate a picnic lunch, chased the ducks and hiked to the cross on the hill. It was pretty fun. Except Maggie hurt her toe and Bren was attacked by a mutant hornet. He escaped without being stung, but it was ironic since we were playing the Chelsea HORNETS. Funny.
We drove to Ginger's after Ty's game. The kids swam and we talked. And watched the newest New Moon trailer like three times. It looks so good! I can't wait til November. Ginger and I always have fun together. We laugh like preteens and make stupid, silly jokes. But it's not always silliness. It's so cool to have a friend that really gets you. I'm gonna miss her when she moves.
Gotta got to Springville church now. See ya soon.
We drove to Ginger's after Ty's game. The kids swam and we talked. And watched the newest New Moon trailer like three times. It looks so good! I can't wait til November. Ginger and I always have fun together. We laugh like preteens and make stupid, silly jokes. But it's not always silliness. It's so cool to have a friend that really gets you. I'm gonna miss her when she moves.
Gotta got to Springville church now. See ya soon.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Music Flashback, Clean House
I updated my playlist tonight. There's some good 90s music on there now. Verve Pipe, Third Eye Blind, The Wallflowers, Three Doors Down. Good stuff. Not sure why I'm remembering all these bands.
My house was ridiculously dirty tonight. I stayed home while Chris took the boys to football and cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned. I ran the dishwasher twice and the washing machine once. I vacuumed the floors and the rugs. It felt just lovely to sit in my living room surrounded by... nothing. Ahhh.
Ty is combing my hair. I love it when my kids get the urge to play with my hair. It puts me right to sleep. My eyes are all droopy right now.
I miss blogging. I should do it more. It's very therapeutic.
My house was ridiculously dirty tonight. I stayed home while Chris took the boys to football and cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned. I ran the dishwasher twice and the washing machine once. I vacuumed the floors and the rugs. It felt just lovely to sit in my living room surrounded by... nothing. Ahhh.
Ty is combing my hair. I love it when my kids get the urge to play with my hair. It puts me right to sleep. My eyes are all droopy right now.
I miss blogging. I should do it more. It's very therapeutic.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A Snapshot
A quick snapshot of my life:
I'm sitting in my comfy green chair, cruising the web. Listening to music. Sippin' my coffee.
Ty and Griff are playing tennis on the Wii while Michael and Brody cheer them on. There is much laughing and jumping and screaming and high fiving. I am smiling.
Maggie and Gracie are playing a game on the internet. Laughing at each other. Getting along. I am relieved.
My packing for the beach is almost done. My laundry is done. My supper is laid out. Addison is coming for pot roast. Dane is house/cat/dog-sitting while we are gone. I am happy.
It's funny how different I feel today as opposed to Friday. I want to say that I wish every day was like today... but without the crappy days, I wouldn't really appreciate it. I guess I should just enjoy it. I am grateful.
I'm sitting in my comfy green chair, cruising the web. Listening to music. Sippin' my coffee.
Ty and Griff are playing tennis on the Wii while Michael and Brody cheer them on. There is much laughing and jumping and screaming and high fiving. I am smiling.
Maggie and Gracie are playing a game on the internet. Laughing at each other. Getting along. I am relieved.
My packing for the beach is almost done. My laundry is done. My supper is laid out. Addison is coming for pot roast. Dane is house/cat/dog-sitting while we are gone. I am happy.
It's funny how different I feel today as opposed to Friday. I want to say that I wish every day was like today... but without the crappy days, I wouldn't really appreciate it. I guess I should just enjoy it. I am grateful.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
Struggle
This is a post I wrote quite a while back but never published. Obviously the moment I was having has passed but it's still an honest expression of what was going on in me at the time. Thought I'd share...
Why the disconnect? Do I really give off the vibe of being unhappy and overwhelmed? Is it not okay to express pain in those moments when I do feel that way? Just because I have moments of feeling stressed out does not mean that I feel that way all the time.
I have noticed that when I feel the heaviness and weight of duty there is something askew. Something is out of line. I shouldn't feel burned out. I shouldn't grow weary of doing good. But there are times when it seems that there is no other option but to extend myself to the point of discomfort. That other people just expect more and more of me the more I give. That they give no thought to the fact that I am tired.
Where is that line? And what happens when there is no other person that I can confide in? When I feel absolutely alone in the struggle? What then?
Do I drop everything? Leave people hanging out to dry? Or maybe realize that I have complete freedom to fail. And people will be disappointed in me. And let down by me. And maybe even forced to take some of my responsibilities.
And all the while I recognize that I do all this to myself. I want others to help me, I expect it. But I don't always ask for it. And when I work and work and work and then forget something or don't do it right, it wounds me to have it pointed out. And it makes me angry because the person pointing it out usually is the one that always leaves it up to me to handle things. Tuesday morning quarterback.
Oh, my sinful, pride filled heart. It burns in my chest. It chokes the life out of my relationships. It isolates me and whispers evil in my ear.
Why the disconnect? Do I really give off the vibe of being unhappy and overwhelmed? Is it not okay to express pain in those moments when I do feel that way? Just because I have moments of feeling stressed out does not mean that I feel that way all the time.
I have noticed that when I feel the heaviness and weight of duty there is something askew. Something is out of line. I shouldn't feel burned out. I shouldn't grow weary of doing good. But there are times when it seems that there is no other option but to extend myself to the point of discomfort. That other people just expect more and more of me the more I give. That they give no thought to the fact that I am tired.
Where is that line? And what happens when there is no other person that I can confide in? When I feel absolutely alone in the struggle? What then?
Do I drop everything? Leave people hanging out to dry? Or maybe realize that I have complete freedom to fail. And people will be disappointed in me. And let down by me. And maybe even forced to take some of my responsibilities.
And all the while I recognize that I do all this to myself. I want others to help me, I expect it. But I don't always ask for it. And when I work and work and work and then forget something or don't do it right, it wounds me to have it pointed out. And it makes me angry because the person pointing it out usually is the one that always leaves it up to me to handle things. Tuesday morning quarterback.
Oh, my sinful, pride filled heart. It burns in my chest. It chokes the life out of my relationships. It isolates me and whispers evil in my ear.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Best Song
Chance Meeting by Act of Congress is my most favorite song ever. It has consistantly been at the top of my list for a year now. It's not that I listen to it repeatedly. It's just that every time I listen to it, it makes me feel... amazed. I love it. If a movie is ever made of my life, I want Chance Meeting playing in the background while they're telling the love story of Chris and me. And if I die I want it playing in the background as people watch a slide show of my life. I love it that much.
If you don't have it, it's on the Declaration CD by Act of Congress. You can order on iTunes.
If you don't have it, it's on the Declaration CD by Act of Congress. You can order on iTunes.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
What It Takes To Have Flawless, Happy Family Pictures... Like Me
We had our pictures made this morning. And yes, the ridiculously talented Jessica took them. Thanks for asking...
I decided at 9 o'clock last night that we would all wear white shirts. It sounds kind of hokey but nothing else looked right. So the girls and I loaded up and drove over to hell, where it seems that they have all kinds of white shirts on sale for like $5. So I was super happy. And my conscience only convulsed slightly. (I stomped it down.)
When I got home, Chris pointed out that the boys really needed haircuts. I wanted to protest but since it was obvious it was true, I had to nod sadly and then panic about when this was going to take place. It was, after all, 10 pm, Chris was leaving for work and pictures were scheduled for 10 am the next morning. Chris volunteered to do it the next morning. Tragedy averted. Almost.
I forget that Ty has major issues with haircuts. He hates the little hairs that get all over you. He claims that it is unbearably itchy and he breaks into man-sized whines. Seriously. So, Chris cut his hair at 9am and I spent until 10am trying to remove tiny little hairs from his shirt. It was super fun. I tried using tape and even threw it in the drier. I ended up holding the shirt and picking individual hairs out of the fabric. I couldn't bear the torment he was in.
The actual photo shoot was lovely. Aside from the broken glass on the sidewalk... did I mention that we were barefoot? And also aside from the hordes of mosquitos, that is. We sprayed each other with chemicals and even had to rub the bug spray on our faces. The attacks were brutal. My sister-in-law was especially targeted. Bless her heart.
But I'm sure the efforts we made will be worth it. And besides, Jessica is a miracle worker. Oh and my kids are beautiful. We can't forget that. That always bears repeating. I'll post the pics when I get them. Prepare to be dazzled.
I decided at 9 o'clock last night that we would all wear white shirts. It sounds kind of hokey but nothing else looked right. So the girls and I loaded up and drove over to hell, where it seems that they have all kinds of white shirts on sale for like $5. So I was super happy. And my conscience only convulsed slightly. (I stomped it down.)
When I got home, Chris pointed out that the boys really needed haircuts. I wanted to protest but since it was obvious it was true, I had to nod sadly and then panic about when this was going to take place. It was, after all, 10 pm, Chris was leaving for work and pictures were scheduled for 10 am the next morning. Chris volunteered to do it the next morning. Tragedy averted. Almost.
I forget that Ty has major issues with haircuts. He hates the little hairs that get all over you. He claims that it is unbearably itchy and he breaks into man-sized whines. Seriously. So, Chris cut his hair at 9am and I spent until 10am trying to remove tiny little hairs from his shirt. It was super fun. I tried using tape and even threw it in the drier. I ended up holding the shirt and picking individual hairs out of the fabric. I couldn't bear the torment he was in.
The actual photo shoot was lovely. Aside from the broken glass on the sidewalk... did I mention that we were barefoot? And also aside from the hordes of mosquitos, that is. We sprayed each other with chemicals and even had to rub the bug spray on our faces. The attacks were brutal. My sister-in-law was especially targeted. Bless her heart.
But I'm sure the efforts we made will be worth it. And besides, Jessica is a miracle worker. Oh and my kids are beautiful. We can't forget that. That always bears repeating. I'll post the pics when I get them. Prepare to be dazzled.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Music, Tears and Eternity
As I mentioned in my previous post, I went to a concert tonight. The guy's name is Sam Bradley. I like his live music better than his recorded. But then again, all he has is myspace music, no cd yet. He's fun to go see because he loves it so much. He's doing exactly what he wants to be doing. I wish I could talk to him about the gospel.
There's another couple of people I've found on myspace. Aoife O'Donovan and Marcus Foster. Love them. Serious awesomeness. Marcus's song Fourteen Times owns me. And Aoife's Burning Heart moves me. Marcus is coming to Nashville in August. I wanna go. Hmmm.
I learned a little more about community tonight. I learned that watching a non-christian experience/observe true community is, um, awkward. There is a flow to true community. There's an intimacy that can only come when the Spirit is testifying, pouring life back and forth. To someone without the Spirit, there's something both uncomfortable and enticing about that. On the one hand, community and relationship are what they are created for and long for. But on the other hand, there is a knowing and a being known that is scary and vulnerable. It's beautiful and ruthless at the same time. It is a love that hangs on and says, "I know you're messed up and you're probably going to hurt me, but I'm just like you and I choose to love you anyway." There is safety in true community because it comes straight from the heart of God.
I am seeing God expand my vision to include eternity. It changes the way I see everything around me. I remember telling G a long time ago that I did not like the thoughts of them leaving to go to Ireland. He just looked at me and said knowingly, "I know. But you will. One day you will." And now I do. I see the future of heaven as a place for all the unhindered fellowship I long for here. And I see the beauty of sacrificing a little bit of that fellowship now, for a time, so that others can hear and have the same kind of redemption and fellowship. It is a very worthy cause.
As I sit here, exhausted, writing my heart, I cry. I cry for the loss I already feel when I think of the Donahoos and Morgans going. I cry for the loss that will come soon when the Springville plant is ready to particularize and we move our activities there. I cry for the beauty of the Spirit in my volitional family that holds me and pours into me. I cry for the lost who are called lost for a reason. I cry for their fears and their lostness. I cry for the blessings of the faces that come into my mind right now. Melissa Mohr. Bekah. Sonja. Jessica. Jawan. Leslie. Laura. Trisha. I see a hundred faces and know that they are known by me and I am known by them.
I cry because I am tired. And the tears are friends, expressions of love and beauty and connectedness. But alas, now I ramble....
There's another couple of people I've found on myspace. Aoife O'Donovan and Marcus Foster. Love them. Serious awesomeness. Marcus's song Fourteen Times owns me. And Aoife's Burning Heart moves me. Marcus is coming to Nashville in August. I wanna go. Hmmm.
I learned a little more about community tonight. I learned that watching a non-christian experience/observe true community is, um, awkward. There is a flow to true community. There's an intimacy that can only come when the Spirit is testifying, pouring life back and forth. To someone without the Spirit, there's something both uncomfortable and enticing about that. On the one hand, community and relationship are what they are created for and long for. But on the other hand, there is a knowing and a being known that is scary and vulnerable. It's beautiful and ruthless at the same time. It is a love that hangs on and says, "I know you're messed up and you're probably going to hurt me, but I'm just like you and I choose to love you anyway." There is safety in true community because it comes straight from the heart of God.
I am seeing God expand my vision to include eternity. It changes the way I see everything around me. I remember telling G a long time ago that I did not like the thoughts of them leaving to go to Ireland. He just looked at me and said knowingly, "I know. But you will. One day you will." And now I do. I see the future of heaven as a place for all the unhindered fellowship I long for here. And I see the beauty of sacrificing a little bit of that fellowship now, for a time, so that others can hear and have the same kind of redemption and fellowship. It is a very worthy cause.
As I sit here, exhausted, writing my heart, I cry. I cry for the loss I already feel when I think of the Donahoos and Morgans going. I cry for the loss that will come soon when the Springville plant is ready to particularize and we move our activities there. I cry for the beauty of the Spirit in my volitional family that holds me and pours into me. I cry for the lost who are called lost for a reason. I cry for their fears and their lostness. I cry for the blessings of the faces that come into my mind right now. Melissa Mohr. Bekah. Sonja. Jessica. Jawan. Leslie. Laura. Trisha. I see a hundred faces and know that they are known by me and I am known by them.
I cry because I am tired. And the tears are friends, expressions of love and beauty and connectedness. But alas, now I ramble....
Live Your Life
3x5 ... There's a song by John Mayer that talks about putting down your camera and just living your life, experiencing the moment. I watched people at a concert tonight, so concerned with video, taking pics or texting that they ended up not enjoying the moment they were in. There was no leaning back, watching the performance, soaking it in. There was no open eyed amazement at the talent before them. But hey, they got all the youtube footage they can handle. What's wrong with this picture?
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