Some days I have the heart of an adventurer: courageous, curious, inspired, ready for anything. Other days, I have the heart of a mouse: hiding in a hole, starting at even the slightest noise.
Some days, it is easy to be thrilled over my friends leaving me, going out into the world to share the gospel. Other days, I want to sabotage them, make them stay here so that nothing will change.
Some days, I am ecstatic over the success of the gospel. Other days, I resent it and the sacrifice it demands.
Some days, I am desperate to be free from my sin. Other days, I cling to it like a toddler to its pacifier.
Some days, Christ is all I see. Other days, no matter how hard I look, he is lost in the fog of my own self-deception.
I watched Adam in concert tonight. To me, it was bittersweet. I am in awe of God's gifting to him, and I want more than anything else for everyone in the world to hear what I hear. And yet, I know that will require from him what it requires from us all: sacrifice.
For every step we make toward the gospel is a step away from the comfort of our flesh. Success in one area means deprivation in another. Every church that promises support to the Morgans expidites their leaving their church family. It is counterintuitive to desire a friend's leaving. But they must leave. It is the plan of the Father.
So I look into my own life. Amber is moving to the next town. Ginger and Laura are moving to the next continent. Who knows where Adam and Jessica will end up. I am moving to the new church location.
The only way these things are good is for them to be for the benefit of the gospel of Christ. Everything else passes away. Everything else is vanity. My moods shift. My courage fails. My spiritual eyes open and close. But eternity is ... well.. eternity. And only those things done for the kingdom and Christ will last.
My eyes cannot see it here, now, but I know that it is true. And when I can see that, my courage is replaced with the surety of the gospel. My heart takes a deep cleansing breath, and I rest.
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5 comments:
I sent an email TODAY to Steve and Laura requesting they send our session a missionary letter so we could consider supporting them. Sorry. This is my evil plan to see them once in a while when they are home.
I spend too many hours blinded by my own selfishness. Thank you for opening my eyes today.
Crissy, that was beautiful and "Right on"!
I needed to read/hear this!! It is SO HARD to anticipate and experience change. Seeing it in light of the Gospel is the ONLY way to find the strength to go on. Greg is open to moving when Michael graduates, but I'm clinging and planting deep roots that are wrapping around the core of the earth to hang on. Being at the Springville plant a couple of weeks ago served to open my mind to moving... ARGH! What is God doing??? I have been so encouraged to see God using you in Springville and to hear how He has/is changing you. BYW - when is football signup? I know you can't wait for it!! :) Elizabeth
thank you for the reminder of God's love and faithfulness. i sooo needed that right now.
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