Why?

Why did I leave a rotisserie chicken in the car overnight?
Why do people have to move away?
Why does my head hurt?
Why does a simple knee surgery bring so much pain?

Ahhh, the whys of life. The 'what is going on?' And even the 'how is this good?' I ask the questions. I even hope for answers.

I would like to quote my friend Betty Smartt Carter from her book Home is Always the Place You Just Left
"Actually, "Why?" may be the most devout question any human being can ask, because of what it implies about God.... if I ask, "Why is the universe here?" or even "Why do I get canker sores after eating strawberries?" I show that I hope for order in this mess. I want to know whether God tramps through nothingness for a reason, and whether all this junk, this frenzied mud I wade through from one second to the next, is maybe a trail that leads somewhere. To ask why shows that I have expectations, and expectations are the beginning of faith -however small, however many times crushed and reborn."

I love that quote. It explains so much to me. Even if I never find out the answer, it's good to ask the question.

After my mother died, I had people (that I did not know) tell me that I shouldn't ask God why, I should just trust Him. Sounds good on the surface maybe. But what does it say about God? It says to me that He might get angry or annoyed at being questioned. Which means that He's insecure and uncaring. Which means that He is not God. God wants to be known by us. He wants us to seek Him out. And He's big enough to handle the tough questions... He can take it. He knows if we're angry with Him... so is it better to ignore and avoid Him or verbalize what we're already feeling?

I've asked God "Why?" many times. Sometimes in anger. Sometimes in confusion. Sometimes in wonder. But every time, He has answered me with Himself. I still don't know the answers to many of the questions but I know God more. And that has always been enough.