I have lots swirling in my head right now. External noise, internal dialogue, the occasional echo of my mother's voice. Too much. Too much.
Maggie is writing a song. Right now. Right beside me. Hmmm. Scott is using a nail gun and air compressor... lots o' noise. Various and sundry questions. Cell phone's ringing, hang on. Bren is listening to music and playing along on the electric guitar. Gracie needs a friend. Badly. That concludes the external noise portion of my life.
Internal dialogue:
My heart is heavy for my friend Boo. Her Daddy is gone now. Her 1st baby is due in a week. Pain and joy all mixed up. I wish I could step in and make it all good but death is never okay, never the way it was supposed to be. Death is a sign of the brokenness that inhabits this Earth now. I hate it.
Another friend is in an abusive marriage. How can I help her? He doesn't beat her but I think that would be much easier in some ways if he did. My heart breaks for her. Her heart is broken.
Ty's Revolutionary War party is in 2 days. Still not many ideas. Costumes, wooden bowls, white camp tents, ... that's about it. Not nearly enough. Think, brain! Think!
Money. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it when I have it, hate it when I don't. Hate thinking about it... having to think about it. Blech!
Brody has double ear infections, sinus infection, head ache... poor child. His right tube is out, dang it!
The van broke down. Good-bye $300.
In the midst of all these things, I am learning to trust. That God is faithful. That He loves me. His love for me is a furious love. He is always for me. All things MUST work for my salvation. Salvation in the biggest sense: justification and sanctification. He is making me holy. He is showing me His great and wonderful heart. I am content once again. I only have to remember who I am and who He is. And it is enough.
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4 comments:
It's hard when people you care about are hurting. I read about Boo's Dad and I have been thinking of her all day. When I read the last paragraph of this blog, it made me feel better today. Good post, Crissy.
Death is so hard it dose reminds of this broken life and how precious each moment is broken cars, ear, infections, money all of it is part of God's wonderful plan and knowing that is in control does bring me so much comfort.
I like to read blogs because it's real people going through real things and really having to rely on Christ. Thanks for pointing us in that direction.
P.S. I hear Kale is good for the decreasing the noise level!
Hmmmm I love the first song on your playlist now. Year 3000. :)
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