My Son

Last night, Ty came to me crying. Broken hearted. He had trouble talking about his problem for crying. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was that he didn't think he should play the Playstation anymore. Huh?

I asked him why and he told me that when he plays the Playstation it gets into his mind and it's all he can think about... how to beat the game or how he already beat the game. I can see that that would bother him. I've done the same thing before. I hate being obsessed with anything. I told him that he probably should take a break from the game.

But he wasn't the least bit consoled. He then tearfully tried to explain to me the deeper problem. Apparently, when he lays down in the bed every night, he likes to think about God and pray. And the Playstation being in his brain prevented him from thinking and meditating on God. That was why his heart felt broken. He felt disconnected from God and didn't know how to get back. He missed God, missed talking to him and thinking about him and puzzling over the new things he'd learned about him.

We talked about it for a few minutes when I realized that there was fear there too. He didn't understand that God is there whether we feel him or not. I told him that God is faithful to us, He is ever present, nothing we can do can separate us from the love of God. We told him that the Playstation thoughts would fade and God is still there loving him. At these words he was finally comforted. He could go to sleep, assured that God was still there with him, even though he couldn't find the thoughts to pray to him.

I asked him later what sorts of things he thinks about. He replied that he thought about God turning his back on his own son for our sakes, about God's glory shown to Moses, things like that.

Whoa!

"Really?" I asked. When I am disconnected from God, sometimes it takes me a day or two to even notice. My son has an intimacy with God that I don't have. And the very thought of losing Him devastated Ty. I recognize that Ty's not really like other people. He knows and understands truths that I have a hard time with. He feels the presence of God in a very real way.

Don't get me wrong, he's a little sinner. He aggravates his sisters and gets too rough sometimes, things like that. But he has a love for Christ that blows my mind. And scares me. Where will God take this child of mine? What will his path be? Can I trust God with his future?

Of course I can trust Him. He loves my son more passionately than I do. He knows his heart and whispers in his ear. He is growing him for His own purposes. What those purposes will be, I don't know. He could be anything from a mechanic to a school teacher to the next Billy Graham. But God knows the plans He has for Ty. Plans to prosper and not to harm. Plans for a hope and a future.

I pray that God will continue to teach me thru my son because I have so much to learn.