Stink

I have a confession. Tonight, while at the talent show at church, my deodorant completely failed me. I went to take my sweatshirt off and almost choked. It was just my left armpit, the right one didn't smell at all. But my right one sweats and my left one doesn't. Chris thinks it's my hormones. He thinks that because this is the longest I've gone without being pregnant or nursing in the past 11 years. I have no idea but it's very annoying.

I leaned over to my friend and apologized, explaining that I had taken a shower this morning and applied deodorant twice. I think I'll call Dr. Mac about it. Anyway, it got me to thinking. There's the obvious truth that this is just like my sin. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't cover up the cesspool of my flesh. It eeks out no matter how hard I try to hide it.

But then there's the more subtle thought. The way I felt, the annoyance, the embarrassment - it shows me again that I want to be perfect. Not in a godly way, but in the sense that I want people to see me and think I have it all together. Which, of course, I don't.

The whole situation was ridiculous. But I learned to trust God better. Because, who am I really? Am I defined by my phsical condition? Nope. Am I defined by my sin? Nuh-uh. I am beautiful and loved and righteous. And nothing on this earth can change that. What a relief.