Fundamental Differences

There are fundamental differences between boys and girls. If someone tries to tell you this is untrue, what they're really telling you is that they have no children of their own, and in fact, have never met anyone under the age of 18.

A girl is handed a Barbie doll and immediately begins to plan a wedding. A boy, given the same doll, immediately begins to plan a death. I have heard one of my sons give his sister the following advice: "You need to take it to the pool house next time and try to drown it. I bet it'll make bubbles." His sister looked at him in horror and clutched her doll to her chest.

Girls tend not to laugh at each other as play. They may laugh at someone who's not there but not each other. It's just not funny. They will get their feelings hurt and cry and uninvite people to their party, even if that party is nine months in the future.

Boys see a stick and fall in love. I've never seen one of my daughters do this. A stick is... well, a stick. But a boy sees the same random piece of wood and catches his breath. He must have this stick. (Not unlike my father who, seeing a bolt in the middle of a busy intersection, will risk his life to obtain it.) A stick is full of magic. It can be a gun, a sword, a lightsaber, a battle axe, (are you seeing a pattern here?) even a machete. A stick can save an empire. Unless your sister, completely unaware of its power, throws it into the bonfire. Then of course, the empire is on hold until a suitable replacement can be found.

In the same vein, when boys play, you hear the word "die" a lot. Sometimes in quick succession. (ie. "Die! Die! Die!) Not so with girls. Girls say things like "pretty" and "silly" and "ohhhh!". Boys and girls playing together? Well then you hear things like "That's stupid" or "Stop it!" or "Whatever."

I've never seen my daughters do tricks with their, um, privates. Boys however, well that's a different story. Many a conversation has been halted because the introductory sentence was, "Momma, did you know that a penis can..." Aahhhhh! Stop talking. Stop. Talking. Now. My children learned the word "inappropriate" at a very young age.

There can be similarities between boys and girls though. Let me see... they both eat. And sleep. And, um, nope... that's all I've got in the similarities department. I'm sure with some thought I could come up with more, but right now... nope. I got nothin'.