Worship?

Why is it that perspectives are so different? One person may see a person of great talent and think "They are so gifted. I'm so glad to experience what they have to offer" and the person in the next seat is completely affected, can't get enough, and wants to praise the person with the talent.

I know I'm not making this clear. I can't explain it. But the crux of the matter is worship, I think. When we see other's talents as gifts from God, we are moved to encourage the person and praise God. When we are caught up in the talent, seeing only its temporal value, we praise the person. We exalt them. We worship them.

There are many things in my life that interfere with my whole hearted worship of God. And the saddest thing is, I know it and don't do anything to purge them from my life. It is idolatry, plain and simple.

But trusting in God to the point of clinging only to him, letting go of everything else is so terrifying. It goes against every instinct I have. My flesh does not want to die. I try to tame it, to teach it, to be tolerant of it... but it has to die. Like Gollum at Mount Doom it has to be killed because it will never change or get better.

I sigh. I whine. I cry. I want to find the blissful, all surpassing peace that is only in Christ, but my fingers won't let go of my idols. I shake my hand as hard as I can, but I cling harder. The violent shaking is the easy part. The gentle motion of lifting first one finger then another and another is excruciating. Only in grace can I find the ability to relax my grip.

I want Christ.