Lortab makes me itch. Now my tooth hurts and I look like I have fleas. I can't quit scratching.
Brody openly defied me today for the first time. He found a piece of gum on the floor in the living room. I told him no but by the time I could run in there he had ripped the wrapper off, tore the gum in half and was trying to shove half in his mouth when I grabbed him. He was highly offended that I wouldn't let him keep it.
My church is getting a lot of young couples in it. They look at me as if I'm some mature woman since I've got 4 kids. Ha! If they only knew that I walk around clueless half the time they wouldn't say that. It's weird how new people perceive me. Everyone else just thinks I'm goofy.
Because I can't chew, I'm living off of soup, Slim-Fast, yogurt and cranberry sauce. Ya know, things I can strain between my teeth and then swallow. It's getting old.
I'm ready for bed. Good night.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Guess What?
My charmed life gets better and better. My tooth that I had the root canal in, not the one I'm having surgery on, is abcessed! It hurts like 'you know what'. Please pray that the antibiotics the doctor called in will work quickly. I'm strugglin'.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Get Off My Back
I know, I know.... it's been a really long time since my last post. I've been really overwhelmed. Life has snuck up and bit me in the butt, again.
I've been busy planning out a new nine week unit study for school. Very time consuming. It's been fun though. The Middle Ages, woo-hoo. I've got the lesson plans done, still working on the tests and worksheets.
In the past six days, two kids have been to the ENT, all six of us have been to the dentist for cleanings, I've had a root canal and a consultation with an oral surgeon. Good news - only Maggie had cavities (just 1), Ty and Brody are better now (they're on antibiotics for sinus infections). Bad news- the root canal couldn't be finished because it kept bleeding so now it's sensitive and Dr. Koplon found a large 'lesion' in my jaw. Come to find out, it's (more than likely) a very large abcess from a dead nerve. The problem is that it's sooooo big. It's never a good sign when your doctor looks at your x-ray and says "Whoa! What's that?!?!?" For a few days Chris and I were dealing with the possibility that it could be a tumor. Needless to say, I was in a quiet mood for a while. I wasn't scared really, just quiet. Long story short, I'm having a root canal on Tuesday and oral surgery next Thursday. Dr. O'Neill will clean out the cyst and fill in the gaping hole with bone chips. Sounds like fun to me!
Seriously though... as Leslie said today "You've had a lot of health type issues lately. Haven't you?" I guess I have and I get really, really tired of it. I don't like pain and being away from my children. I don't like spending money on things I can't enjoy. I don't like not being able to take care of my family. And as I type this I am reminded that wait... it's not all about me. For some reason, I can't truly grasp that concept.
I want to be comfortable and God wants me to be holy. And in these moments of dread and fear, He reminds me that He is always here. I want to be tough and people tell me that I am. But I don't feel tough and full of faith because I feel like crying. But I think that's what real faith looks like. Real faith is experiencing my pain and fear, crying and knowing, really knowing that He has a plan. I don't understand it and I wish He could make me holy without pain but He is God. He knows all the things that I don't.
Plus, He takes care of me. He doesn't give me a task and then tell me to get on with it. He lavishes His love and grace on me. His Spirit provides me with all I need. He surrounds me with His children. I cannot possibly take the time to type the names of all my friends that will be there with me. To care for my kids, bring me food, help me clean, listen to me whine, pray for me and with me, and love me.
Life is a journey and I cannot wait for the destination! My heartfelt prayer is that there will be no teeth in heaven.
I've been busy planning out a new nine week unit study for school. Very time consuming. It's been fun though. The Middle Ages, woo-hoo. I've got the lesson plans done, still working on the tests and worksheets.
In the past six days, two kids have been to the ENT, all six of us have been to the dentist for cleanings, I've had a root canal and a consultation with an oral surgeon. Good news - only Maggie had cavities (just 1), Ty and Brody are better now (they're on antibiotics for sinus infections). Bad news- the root canal couldn't be finished because it kept bleeding so now it's sensitive and Dr. Koplon found a large 'lesion' in my jaw. Come to find out, it's (more than likely) a very large abcess from a dead nerve. The problem is that it's sooooo big. It's never a good sign when your doctor looks at your x-ray and says "Whoa! What's that?!?!?" For a few days Chris and I were dealing with the possibility that it could be a tumor. Needless to say, I was in a quiet mood for a while. I wasn't scared really, just quiet. Long story short, I'm having a root canal on Tuesday and oral surgery next Thursday. Dr. O'Neill will clean out the cyst and fill in the gaping hole with bone chips. Sounds like fun to me!
Seriously though... as Leslie said today "You've had a lot of health type issues lately. Haven't you?" I guess I have and I get really, really tired of it. I don't like pain and being away from my children. I don't like spending money on things I can't enjoy. I don't like not being able to take care of my family. And as I type this I am reminded that wait... it's not all about me. For some reason, I can't truly grasp that concept.
I want to be comfortable and God wants me to be holy. And in these moments of dread and fear, He reminds me that He is always here. I want to be tough and people tell me that I am. But I don't feel tough and full of faith because I feel like crying. But I think that's what real faith looks like. Real faith is experiencing my pain and fear, crying and knowing, really knowing that He has a plan. I don't understand it and I wish He could make me holy without pain but He is God. He knows all the things that I don't.
Plus, He takes care of me. He doesn't give me a task and then tell me to get on with it. He lavishes His love and grace on me. His Spirit provides me with all I need. He surrounds me with His children. I cannot possibly take the time to type the names of all my friends that will be there with me. To care for my kids, bring me food, help me clean, listen to me whine, pray for me and with me, and love me.
Life is a journey and I cannot wait for the destination! My heartfelt prayer is that there will be no teeth in heaven.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Dr. Kim
Dr. Kim Schmitt is our lovely friend. God has used her skill and knowledge to keep Brody, Ty and Gracie healthy these past few years. She always has a smile and love for my kids. And in return, they love her more than any other doctor in the world. (Our dentist, Dr. Koplon is a close second) Whenever I tell them that it's time for a doctor visit, they cry if it's not to Dr. Kim. Seriously, they do.
Ty had to have allergy shots for a couple of years. You would think that he would hate the doctor's office. He doesn't. They brag on him and encourage him. They give him treats and hugs. So an otherwise traumatic experience has been an overwhelmingly positive one for him.
Poor Brody has had the most awful time with ear infections. She put tubes in, but his ears would push them out after a couple of months. She ended up putting in something similar to a 't-tube'. These new ones won't come out on their own. After horrible recurring infections for the first year and a half of his life, he's been healthy now for a year. Colds - yes. Ear infections - nope.
Gracie and Maggie haven't had to visit her often as a patient but they love going. Her office has a really cool play room and super sweet staff. Dr. Kim is also the one who discovered Chris' Dad's throat cancer at a really early stage. She probably saved his life.
I asked Ty why he loves her. His reply? "Because she takes care of me." Simple as that.
It's really cool to me how God puts just the right people in our lives at just the right times. Once again, He proves himself trustworthy.
Ty had to have allergy shots for a couple of years. You would think that he would hate the doctor's office. He doesn't. They brag on him and encourage him. They give him treats and hugs. So an otherwise traumatic experience has been an overwhelmingly positive one for him.
Poor Brody has had the most awful time with ear infections. She put tubes in, but his ears would push them out after a couple of months. She ended up putting in something similar to a 't-tube'. These new ones won't come out on their own. After horrible recurring infections for the first year and a half of his life, he's been healthy now for a year. Colds - yes. Ear infections - nope.
Gracie and Maggie haven't had to visit her often as a patient but they love going. Her office has a really cool play room and super sweet staff. Dr. Kim is also the one who discovered Chris' Dad's throat cancer at a really early stage. She probably saved his life.
I asked Ty why he loves her. His reply? "Because she takes care of me." Simple as that.
It's really cool to me how God puts just the right people in our lives at just the right times. Once again, He proves himself trustworthy.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Being Real
I think that everyone is fake at some point or another. I'm sure there are people who are always fake. But even those of us who try not to be fake can't help it sometimes.
I was talking to some friends the other day, at different times, about this. Why is it that when we're going through a dark place we hide it? We put on a smile and laugh. I do it sometimes. Almost a year ago I went through a darkness. Life seemed overwhelming and tedious. But I tried really hard to act like nothing was different. Why?
Well, I think there are several reasons. To begin with, I try to maintain my reputation. People tell me I'm friendly and outgoing. Because of that, I feel the need to live up to that... to not disappoint anyone. Which is kinda stupid when I think about it. Not to mention, sinful. I'm depending on my reputation instead of resting in my position as a daughter of the covenant.
Another reason I'm tempted to be fake is the feelings that occur in those dark places are scary and deep. To not feel happy or contented or peaceful is weird and uncomfortable. I don't like it and don't want other people to look at me funny. I want to hide. I want to pretend. But when I do that, I reject the grace of God. I try to take care of the problems myself. Quite simply, I'm not trusting God.
Being real means that if I'm unhappy, when someone says "How are you?" I can honestly say, "I'm struggling today." I don't have to unload on them, telling them all my deepest sorrows but I can ask them to pray for me.
And when I do that, the next time that person is having a hard time they'll be more likely to ask me to pray for them. I will have humbled myself and that makes it a little easier to ask God for help. Burt preached a sermon last year that has helped me a lot. The title was Remembering Wilderness and Surviving Wealth. In the dark places, I seek Him. Nothing makes sense anymore, He is all I have. But when life is peachy, I get into a routine and don't seek Him out anymore.
The dark places are really blessings in disguise. God uses them to show me who I really am and what trusting Him looks like. Romans 5:3-5 says "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
I can taste of him in a deeper way in the wilderness because I'm hungrier. Needier. Weaker. And he meets me there and supplies all my needs. HE becomes my peace.
I was talking to some friends the other day, at different times, about this. Why is it that when we're going through a dark place we hide it? We put on a smile and laugh. I do it sometimes. Almost a year ago I went through a darkness. Life seemed overwhelming and tedious. But I tried really hard to act like nothing was different. Why?
Well, I think there are several reasons. To begin with, I try to maintain my reputation. People tell me I'm friendly and outgoing. Because of that, I feel the need to live up to that... to not disappoint anyone. Which is kinda stupid when I think about it. Not to mention, sinful. I'm depending on my reputation instead of resting in my position as a daughter of the covenant.
Another reason I'm tempted to be fake is the feelings that occur in those dark places are scary and deep. To not feel happy or contented or peaceful is weird and uncomfortable. I don't like it and don't want other people to look at me funny. I want to hide. I want to pretend. But when I do that, I reject the grace of God. I try to take care of the problems myself. Quite simply, I'm not trusting God.
Being real means that if I'm unhappy, when someone says "How are you?" I can honestly say, "I'm struggling today." I don't have to unload on them, telling them all my deepest sorrows but I can ask them to pray for me.
And when I do that, the next time that person is having a hard time they'll be more likely to ask me to pray for them. I will have humbled myself and that makes it a little easier to ask God for help. Burt preached a sermon last year that has helped me a lot. The title was Remembering Wilderness and Surviving Wealth. In the dark places, I seek Him. Nothing makes sense anymore, He is all I have. But when life is peachy, I get into a routine and don't seek Him out anymore.
The dark places are really blessings in disguise. God uses them to show me who I really am and what trusting Him looks like. Romans 5:3-5 says "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
I can taste of him in a deeper way in the wilderness because I'm hungrier. Needier. Weaker. And he meets me there and supplies all my needs. HE becomes my peace.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Alternative to Wal-Mart
A lot of people ask me how I can manage to not shop at Wal-Mart. "How can you afford shopping anywhere else?" or my favorite, "But it's so much faster to get everything in one place."
Propoganda! That's all that is. People have bought into the advertising that Wal-Mart is cheaper and more convenient. Poppycock!
I buy groceries, dog food, diapers, pull-ups, household items, everything for a family of 6 for around $400 a month. You can, most of the time, find what you need on sale at other stores for the same price or cheaper than WM. You just have to be committed. Look at the sale papers.
"Why don't you just take your sale papers to WM. They'll honor them."
Not neccessarily. They don't honor Buy One Get One Free or percentages. And many times, if you get tons of items that way, they bring in the CSM to hand check each item. Not very convenient.
As to the "convenience" issue.... how many times have you gone to WM only to find they don't have what you need? And you still have to go to another store or settle for something else. Not to mention the fact that the store is soooooo big that it takes forever to get from one place to another.
Then there's the check-out problems. They never have adequate numbers of check-outs open. I have to wait at least ten minutes in a line before I start checking out. (Do not even get me started on the 'self-ckeckouts'!)
Today, I bought all my groceries at Publix. A produce manager offered to help me pick out the best bag of grapes. The butcher ground a fresh pack of ground chuck in a family pack for me, at the sale price. The cashier helped me unload my buggy. The bag boy had me pull up to the front of the store and sit in my van while he loaded my groceries for me in the rain! How much did I spend? Well, for a receipt that is literally 28 inches long, I spent less than $200.00. I bought food for two weeks, dog food, bird seed, laundry stuff, toilet paper, paper towels, snack foods, sodas, etc. I might could have done even better if I had gone to Winn-Dixie and Food World but it was raining cats and dogs and I couldn't stand the thoughts of it!
Publix's slogan is "Where shopping is a pleasure." Today I would have to agree with them.
Propoganda! That's all that is. People have bought into the advertising that Wal-Mart is cheaper and more convenient. Poppycock!
I buy groceries, dog food, diapers, pull-ups, household items, everything for a family of 6 for around $400 a month. You can, most of the time, find what you need on sale at other stores for the same price or cheaper than WM. You just have to be committed. Look at the sale papers.
"Why don't you just take your sale papers to WM. They'll honor them."
Not neccessarily. They don't honor Buy One Get One Free or percentages. And many times, if you get tons of items that way, they bring in the CSM to hand check each item. Not very convenient.
As to the "convenience" issue.... how many times have you gone to WM only to find they don't have what you need? And you still have to go to another store or settle for something else. Not to mention the fact that the store is soooooo big that it takes forever to get from one place to another.
Then there's the check-out problems. They never have adequate numbers of check-outs open. I have to wait at least ten minutes in a line before I start checking out. (Do not even get me started on the 'self-ckeckouts'!)
Today, I bought all my groceries at Publix. A produce manager offered to help me pick out the best bag of grapes. The butcher ground a fresh pack of ground chuck in a family pack for me, at the sale price. The cashier helped me unload my buggy. The bag boy had me pull up to the front of the store and sit in my van while he loaded my groceries for me in the rain! How much did I spend? Well, for a receipt that is literally 28 inches long, I spent less than $200.00. I bought food for two weeks, dog food, bird seed, laundry stuff, toilet paper, paper towels, snack foods, sodas, etc. I might could have done even better if I had gone to Winn-Dixie and Food World but it was raining cats and dogs and I couldn't stand the thoughts of it!
Publix's slogan is "Where shopping is a pleasure." Today I would have to agree with them.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Sound
My kids are studying sound in school. Sound waves, frequency, etc. Ty, who is reading a A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, surmised that there are lots of sounds that would be really unfamiliar to King Arthur. Maggie realized that most of these noises are so familiar to us that we don't even hear them anymore.
So for school, they had to make a list of a.) loud sounds, b.) soft sounds, and c.) sounds we don't even hear anymore. Here are my sounds that I don't even hear anymore.
1. Anytime Chris starts talking about shoes.
2. Gracie's whining.... I put her on ignore.
3. Kim giving me pertinent information... don't ask me why.
4. Silence... but that's just because my kids are so loud.
5. The buzzer on the dryer, and I have it up really loud!
6. Curse words in movies. I don't even register them.
7. My Mother's voice in my head. (Is that good or bad?)
8. Chris' alarm that goes off at 4:oo am when he has to go to work in Anniston. And it's on my side of the bed!
9. My kids talking to me when I'm working at the computer. That is, until the questioning is soooo repetititve that it breaks through my sound barrier.
10. Wiggles movies. I don't realize I'm hearing it until I start singing all the songs. Very annoying!
Maybe later I'll make a list of all the sounds that I wish I didn't hear.
So for school, they had to make a list of a.) loud sounds, b.) soft sounds, and c.) sounds we don't even hear anymore. Here are my sounds that I don't even hear anymore.
1. Anytime Chris starts talking about shoes.
2. Gracie's whining.... I put her on ignore.
3. Kim giving me pertinent information... don't ask me why.
4. Silence... but that's just because my kids are so loud.
5. The buzzer on the dryer, and I have it up really loud!
6. Curse words in movies. I don't even register them.
7. My Mother's voice in my head. (Is that good or bad?)
8. Chris' alarm that goes off at 4:oo am when he has to go to work in Anniston. And it's on my side of the bed!
9. My kids talking to me when I'm working at the computer. That is, until the questioning is soooo repetititve that it breaks through my sound barrier.
10. Wiggles movies. I don't realize I'm hearing it until I start singing all the songs. Very annoying!
Maybe later I'll make a list of all the sounds that I wish I didn't hear.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Sleep
I am sooooo sleepy right now. If I could I would climb in the bed and sleep until tomorrow. I slept fine last night. I don't know what my problem is.
Since I can't sleep, I better get busy. Lord knows I have plenty to do. Maybe this is brain melt from homeschooling today.
Since I can't sleep, I better get busy. Lord knows I have plenty to do. Maybe this is brain melt from homeschooling today.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Stupidity
Some may call it stupidity. Others may call it selfishness. I call it thoughtlessness. It is what plagues me. It is that deep down character flaw that causes the ones I love pain.
Sometimes my mouth overides my butt. I say things that are callus or arrogant. I do things that hurt others. Plain and simple, I just don't think.
Last night, I did something that stirred up fear and bad memories for my friend. And if I had just stopped and thought I would have realized it before it was too late. But I didn't and now she feels all sorts of conflicting emotions and convictions.
It reminds me of something that happened to me after my Mom died. For those of you that don't know, my Mother was a self-medicating bi-polar. She was into other things too. My sister and I realized that things were out of control. Kim contacted Mother's doctor, who wouldn't return her calls. Kim called an attorney, who said that we had to have a doctor. It was horrible. There Mother sat in misery, insanity and filth and the only people who cared could do nothing about it.
Anyways.... after she died, we had to clean out her rental house. The most traumatic thing for me were the gnats. There were literally thousands of them. We wore masks to keep them out of our mouth and nose. It was awful. About two months later, I opened my pantry and out flew a gnat. One gnat. Just one. My mind knew there was only one but my heart freaked out. I started shaking and crying and hitting myself in the head. Chris ran into the room and grabbed me. All I could say was "No. No. I can't be like her. No. No....." It took me a few minutes to get myself under control. And even longer to really release that to Christ. But where my Mom's sin abounded, His grace abounded all the more.
So for my thoughtlessness to trigger emotions even remotely like that causes me deep pain. I ask myself, when will I ever learn? I don't know. I hope soon. I pray that Christ will come back today. He is my only hope.
Sometimes my mouth overides my butt. I say things that are callus or arrogant. I do things that hurt others. Plain and simple, I just don't think.
Last night, I did something that stirred up fear and bad memories for my friend. And if I had just stopped and thought I would have realized it before it was too late. But I didn't and now she feels all sorts of conflicting emotions and convictions.
It reminds me of something that happened to me after my Mom died. For those of you that don't know, my Mother was a self-medicating bi-polar. She was into other things too. My sister and I realized that things were out of control. Kim contacted Mother's doctor, who wouldn't return her calls. Kim called an attorney, who said that we had to have a doctor. It was horrible. There Mother sat in misery, insanity and filth and the only people who cared could do nothing about it.
Anyways.... after she died, we had to clean out her rental house. The most traumatic thing for me were the gnats. There were literally thousands of them. We wore masks to keep them out of our mouth and nose. It was awful. About two months later, I opened my pantry and out flew a gnat. One gnat. Just one. My mind knew there was only one but my heart freaked out. I started shaking and crying and hitting myself in the head. Chris ran into the room and grabbed me. All I could say was "No. No. I can't be like her. No. No....." It took me a few minutes to get myself under control. And even longer to really release that to Christ. But where my Mom's sin abounded, His grace abounded all the more.
So for my thoughtlessness to trigger emotions even remotely like that causes me deep pain. I ask myself, when will I ever learn? I don't know. I hope soon. I pray that Christ will come back today. He is my only hope.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Prayer Please
I hope all who read this will pray for me. I am in charge of planning a Women's Ministry Event. Not a meeting or a coffee. An event. As in decorating, childcare, speaker, food, seminars, etc.
Internal thought* me no can do this... me too stupid... plague, pestilence, danger, danger.
I can try to convince myself that I can do this, or I can lean completely upon my Savior. In this I am weak, but I am boldly stating that He is strong. Please pray that I will trust him. He is enough. He can do this.
BTW, off topic, it's 74 degrees here. All my windows are open and the fans are on. Lovely! Of course we'll probably have tornadoes tomorrow. ;o)
Internal thought* me no can do this... me too stupid... plague, pestilence, danger, danger.
I can try to convince myself that I can do this, or I can lean completely upon my Savior. In this I am weak, but I am boldly stating that He is strong. Please pray that I will trust him. He is enough. He can do this.
BTW, off topic, it's 74 degrees here. All my windows are open and the fans are on. Lovely! Of course we'll probably have tornadoes tomorrow. ;o)
New Favorite CD
Just a quick note to share my new favorite CD. I've played it way to many times. If I don't slow down, I'm gonna get sick of it.
It's Ethereal, titled Tending Both Sides. You can find it at www.etherealband.com
It's Ethereal, titled Tending Both Sides. You can find it at www.etherealband.com
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Happy New Year
Well, the party was fun! We only had 63 instead of 66. Skye was sick and Eric and Pat stayed home with her. So, pretty much everyone we expected to come came. We had hoped the Boykins would be able to come but no such luck. Everyone missed them.
We had plenty of food. A party without food is unacceptable. We never ran out of anything. Afterward, Terri and I agreed that we must be getting better at party planning. We were all thankful for the beautiful weather. Evan built a wonderful bonfire. Thank you Evan and David. The kids played outside and got along well. The adults mingled and talked and ate and drank.
A lot of people dressed up from their favorite time period. I was a hippie, Kim was a fifties housewife, Te
rri was '80's, Boo was 70's. But the winners were Jon Carter, who was a 70's Bible salesman, and Melissa Epperson who was totally 80's. Here's a picture. I hate the quality of these pictures but Kim forgot her digital camera and I had no film for my camera. So once again I was stuck using my phone. I really wish the picture was better.
Jon's wife Betty was a very close second to Missy. Betty had on a red wig and black and leopard print dress from the 60's. I can't tell everyone's costume but believe me, they were all good.
Speaking of Betty's wig. Here's Laura wearing it. (Once again, bad picture quality. Sorry.) Laura was crackin me up. You should have seen Steve in it! He was hysterical.
We listened to music too. Dean Martin, Stevie Nicks, The Black Crowes, The Eagles, The Beatles, a 70's compilation and the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. We tried to cover as many eras as possible. Oh and don't forget the BeeGee's, but that was after most people had already left.
There was lots of dancing and silliness. My new friends Connie and Boo got to meet my best friend Amber. And come to find out they knew a lot of the same people. Cool. There were more people that I would have liked to invite but my house is just not big enough.
I hope all who came had fun. I know I sure did.
We had plenty of food. A party without food is unacceptable. We never ran out of anything. Afterward, Terri and I agreed that we must be getting better at party planning. We were all thankful for the beautiful weather. Evan built a wonderful bonfire. Thank you Evan and David. The kids played outside and got along well. The adults mingled and talked and ate and drank.
A lot of people dressed up from their favorite time period. I was a hippie, Kim was a fifties housewife, Te
rri was '80's, Boo was 70's. But the winners were Jon Carter, who was a 70's Bible salesman, and Melissa Epperson who was totally 80's. Here's a picture. I hate the quality of these pictures but Kim forgot her digital camera and I had no film for my camera. So once again I was stuck using my phone. I really wish the picture was better.Jon's wife Betty was a very close second to Missy. Betty had on a red wig and black and leopard print dress from the 60's. I can't tell everyone's costume but believe me, they were all good.
Speaking of Betty's wig. Here's Laura wearing it. (Once again, bad picture quality. Sorry.) Laura was crackin me up. You should have seen Steve in it! He was hysterical.
We listened to music too. Dean Martin, Stevie Nicks, The Black Crowes, The Eagles, The Beatles, a 70's compilation and the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. We tried to cover as many eras as possible. Oh and don't forget the BeeGee's, but that was after most people had already left.
There was lots of dancing and silliness. My new friends Connie and Boo got to meet my best friend Amber. And come to find out they knew a lot of the same people. Cool. There were more people that I would have liked to invite but my house is just not big enough.
I hope all who came had fun. I know I sure did.
Friday, December 30, 2005
It's Out Of Control
Okay. Here's the deal. Last year Kim and I threw a New Year's Eve Party. We invited ten families. Three people showed up. Not three families - three people! Needless to say, we were sorely disappointed.
So this year, we invited twenty families and sent out the invitations a week early to increase our chances. Long story made short, we have twenty-two families coming. Yes, you read correctly. We have more people coming than we invited. How? Word of mouth. Head count? 37 adults and 29 children. Thank goodness I have a 5,000 square foot home. Oh, wait! I don't!!!
Truly, I am not upset. A little freaked out maybe. A little afraid that people aren't going to enjoy themselves. But ya know? Now that I think about it... it's wonderful. We have had people call to say, "I knew you wouldn't mind, so I invited the ---." And other people call and ask if they could come. Wow! I love that. I love that people feel comfortable enough to do that. Because I really don't mind.
I love when people come over. My house is not perfect or even clean, but it is a home. "It looks lived in.", my best friend Amber says. Not too many years ago that would have made me feel insecure and inadequate. I took comments like that as a veiled insult. Today, it feels like what it is - a testament to the grace of God. I used to think that my house, my kids, my abilities - in other words, the things I did- were what brought glory to God. Now I realize that it's the Holy Spirit in me that brings glory to God. God doesn't care about my couch or my kitchen sink. He wants my heart. My motivations. It's hard to explain.
So now I say... Bring it on!!! Come on over. Roast marshmallows over the bonfire, listen to the music, eat lots of food, talk and laugh. I am priviledged that you can do all those things at my home. All 66 of you.
So this year, we invited twenty families and sent out the invitations a week early to increase our chances. Long story made short, we have twenty-two families coming. Yes, you read correctly. We have more people coming than we invited. How? Word of mouth. Head count? 37 adults and 29 children. Thank goodness I have a 5,000 square foot home. Oh, wait! I don't!!!
Truly, I am not upset. A little freaked out maybe. A little afraid that people aren't going to enjoy themselves. But ya know? Now that I think about it... it's wonderful. We have had people call to say, "I knew you wouldn't mind, so I invited the ---." And other people call and ask if they could come. Wow! I love that. I love that people feel comfortable enough to do that. Because I really don't mind.
I love when people come over. My house is not perfect or even clean, but it is a home. "It looks lived in.", my best friend Amber says. Not too many years ago that would have made me feel insecure and inadequate. I took comments like that as a veiled insult. Today, it feels like what it is - a testament to the grace of God. I used to think that my house, my kids, my abilities - in other words, the things I did- were what brought glory to God. Now I realize that it's the Holy Spirit in me that brings glory to God. God doesn't care about my couch or my kitchen sink. He wants my heart. My motivations. It's hard to explain.
So now I say... Bring it on!!! Come on over. Roast marshmallows over the bonfire, listen to the music, eat lots of food, talk and laugh. I am priviledged that you can do all those things at my home. All 66 of you.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Random Thoughts Concerning Food
Today, I have just picked a topic out of the air. Now I will note all of my brilliant thoughts on the subject. Hang on tight, this could get messy.
1. Starbucks' Caramel Macchiato (can't spell it correctly) is my favorite coffee-type drink of all time.
2. Homemade tacos are so much better than anything you can buy. Why bother with Taco Bell?
3. Frozen green beans are ALWAYS nasty. No matter how you cook them.
4. Chris has eaten fish eyeballs in the jungles of Peru, but he will not eat mushrooms. Under any circumstances.
5. Terri's spagetti sauce and homemade icing are to die for. Not together of course. That would be nasty.
6. I don't understand people who have the desire to cook something that takes longer than thirty minutes to prepare. After 30 minutes, it's just not worth the effort.
7. I also don't understand people who pay $100 for a meal. It's just going to come out the other in end in a few hours.
8. It seems wrong somehow to cook Hamburger Helper in a $200 Calphalon pan.
9. If there is ever a shortage of concrete, we could just use day old grits. They harden to about the same degree.
10. French food. One question... Why? bleck!
11. As anyone who knows me personally can attest, I cannot eat meat off the bone. It makes me gag. I think it stems from a deeply disturbing event from my childhood. My Great Grandfather took me into the yard with him when he chopped a chicken's head off. It ran around for several minutes with blood spurting out of it's neck. I've never eaten chicken on the bone since.
12. As a senior in high school, I was required to read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. I've not eaten sausage since.
13. I have a really bad habit of buying bananas and forgetting about them. They stay on top of the refrigerator until they're black and shriveled. Kim says that I mummify them. My Dad-in-law came over one day and asked "How long until you think they're finally ripe?" HaHa Very funny.
14. I go a little crazy when planning the food for a party. I end up with way too much. A web site that I read said that for a small gathering, you should serve 2 salty and 2 sweet. Huh? What is that? In my opinion, 4 or maybe even 5 of each. Is that overboard you think?
So there. Completely unimportant and unrelated information. This is probably the most useless post I've ever written. (G, no comments. I can hear them swirlin' around.)
1. Starbucks' Caramel Macchiato (can't spell it correctly) is my favorite coffee-type drink of all time.
2. Homemade tacos are so much better than anything you can buy. Why bother with Taco Bell?
3. Frozen green beans are ALWAYS nasty. No matter how you cook them.
4. Chris has eaten fish eyeballs in the jungles of Peru, but he will not eat mushrooms. Under any circumstances.
5. Terri's spagetti sauce and homemade icing are to die for. Not together of course. That would be nasty.
6. I don't understand people who have the desire to cook something that takes longer than thirty minutes to prepare. After 30 minutes, it's just not worth the effort.
7. I also don't understand people who pay $100 for a meal. It's just going to come out the other in end in a few hours.
8. It seems wrong somehow to cook Hamburger Helper in a $200 Calphalon pan.
9. If there is ever a shortage of concrete, we could just use day old grits. They harden to about the same degree.
10. French food. One question... Why? bleck!
11. As anyone who knows me personally can attest, I cannot eat meat off the bone. It makes me gag. I think it stems from a deeply disturbing event from my childhood. My Great Grandfather took me into the yard with him when he chopped a chicken's head off. It ran around for several minutes with blood spurting out of it's neck. I've never eaten chicken on the bone since.
12. As a senior in high school, I was required to read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. I've not eaten sausage since.
13. I have a really bad habit of buying bananas and forgetting about them. They stay on top of the refrigerator until they're black and shriveled. Kim says that I mummify them. My Dad-in-law came over one day and asked "How long until you think they're finally ripe?" HaHa Very funny.
14. I go a little crazy when planning the food for a party. I end up with way too much. A web site that I read said that for a small gathering, you should serve 2 salty and 2 sweet. Huh? What is that? In my opinion, 4 or maybe even 5 of each. Is that overboard you think?
So there. Completely unimportant and unrelated information. This is probably the most useless post I've ever written. (G, no comments. I can hear them swirlin' around.)
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
A Word About Pastor G
I have a confession to make. Steve Morgan (aka Pastor G) makes me laugh so hard. I know he's reading this but I have to admit it. He is one of the funniest people I know. Sometimes he's mean and cruel. Often he has a weird smell about him... okay not really, I made the smell thing up. But he can be mean only in a really funny way.
He has done studies on delegation and still has no earthly idea what it means. He procrastinates, which drives the people around him nuts. He is slightly compulsive and a little high-strung. But overall, he's a trip. He preaches some really great sermons. Even Chris can stay awake for them. ;o) He does have his "preacher voice" though. I think he thinks it makes him sound smarter.
He married way out of his league, to Laura. And strangely, she thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Oh well, to each his own.
But seriously, I remember when he never even came to church and now he's our assistant (or is it associate?) pastor. Amazing what the love of Christ can do. He's really smart. A great conversationalist. And a good friend. Steve, I'll say it once and never again, I'm glad you're on staff.
And if you'd ever write your first post, I'll honor you with a link on my page.
Which reminds me.... Leslie, Laura, Amber, Kim and Terri - you have one week to post or I remove your link. Ahhhh, I love power!
He has done studies on delegation and still has no earthly idea what it means. He procrastinates, which drives the people around him nuts. He is slightly compulsive and a little high-strung. But overall, he's a trip. He preaches some really great sermons. Even Chris can stay awake for them. ;o) He does have his "preacher voice" though. I think he thinks it makes him sound smarter.
He married way out of his league, to Laura. And strangely, she thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Oh well, to each his own.
But seriously, I remember when he never even came to church and now he's our assistant (or is it associate?) pastor. Amazing what the love of Christ can do. He's really smart. A great conversationalist. And a good friend. Steve, I'll say it once and never again, I'm glad you're on staff.
And if you'd ever write your first post, I'll honor you with a link on my page.
Which reminds me.... Leslie, Laura, Amber, Kim and Terri - you have one week to post or I remove your link. Ahhhh, I love power!
Clarity
Have you ever had to go somewhere, into a situation, that made you so uncomfortable that you went a little crazy? Some of you really confident people, like my husband, will have no idea what I'm talking about. Read on and learn.
Sometime in the recent past (that's all the info you need), I was required to go into just such a situation. In retrospect, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it would be. I have a very healthy imagination. But, anyway, like I was saying, I was required to go be with people that make me really uncomfortable. They say they like me but when I'm with them, they ignore me completely. And if they're not ignoring me, they're making comments that... well, we won't go there. Suffice it to say, whenever I'm around them I feel like a dorky idiot that has nothing to say that's worth listening to. I don't like feeling that way. Which is why I avoid these people.
So what have we learned so far? I'm insecure, cowardly and avoid confrontation like the plague.
The day of this intended meeting I was a basketcase. I will try to explain it more coherently. When I am with my friends, I am completely myself. I laugh, tell jokes, interact, listen fairly well, and hopefully make people comfortable. I don't mind talking to strangers. My Mother used to say I could talk to a stump if I could get it to stand still. I am usually relaxed. But put me in this particular situation and I lose myself completely. I know that I am expected to be a certain person but I'm not that person anymore. I feel like a square peg being forced into a round hole. And because I want to please people, I try really hard to be who they want me to be. So, in short, my natural instinct tells me to change who I am to please someone else. But the strong inner self tells me to forget them and their opinions and just be me.
Problem one, my inner self is a very relational person. I can't interact with people who ignore me. Problem two, I want all people to like me. I want to change myself into someone they'll like. Problem three, it can't be done. I spent the day feeling like a prisoner of war in my own body. I was "conflicted". I was making myself crazy trying to figure out how to be me and not care what others think.
My sweet, beautiful husband put it all in perspective for me. He said "Just remember, God says you're beautiful and so do I. And that's all that really counts."
That completely changed the whole situation. I realized that I was so wrapped up in me that I had forgotten Christ. I had lost all spiritual perspective. It was all about me. It was all about how they make me feel and how should I respond and how I didn't want to be hurt. I had to ask myself the big, real questions. Who am I? The daughter of the Most High. What am I? completely loved, completely forgiven and completely righteous. What else matters? Nothing.
That is where my confidence lies. That is where my sense of self comes from. I am beautiful because God says I am. No one elses opinion of me has any value. And armed with that reality, I experienced a moment of clarity. I walked into the situation with love and peace. I had fun. I saw them with the eyes of Christ. I felt bad for them when I saw their striving for acceptance based on possesions. I spoke with confidence and hopefully, without defensiveness.
When I left, my head didn't hurt. I never felt like crying. And I was humbled by how completely and utterly I had forgotten the Cross. One of my favorite verses of Scripture is in 2 Timothy 2:13. It says " If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." He was faithful to me when I had forgotten him. He loves me with a love I cannot even imagine. He doesn't grow disgusted with my strivings. He meets me in that place and whispers my name. And when I finally hear him, my spirit grows quiet and relaxed in the presence of such love. Oh for more moments of clarity like that.
Sometime in the recent past (that's all the info you need), I was required to go into just such a situation. In retrospect, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it would be. I have a very healthy imagination. But, anyway, like I was saying, I was required to go be with people that make me really uncomfortable. They say they like me but when I'm with them, they ignore me completely. And if they're not ignoring me, they're making comments that... well, we won't go there. Suffice it to say, whenever I'm around them I feel like a dorky idiot that has nothing to say that's worth listening to. I don't like feeling that way. Which is why I avoid these people.
So what have we learned so far? I'm insecure, cowardly and avoid confrontation like the plague.
The day of this intended meeting I was a basketcase. I will try to explain it more coherently. When I am with my friends, I am completely myself. I laugh, tell jokes, interact, listen fairly well, and hopefully make people comfortable. I don't mind talking to strangers. My Mother used to say I could talk to a stump if I could get it to stand still. I am usually relaxed. But put me in this particular situation and I lose myself completely. I know that I am expected to be a certain person but I'm not that person anymore. I feel like a square peg being forced into a round hole. And because I want to please people, I try really hard to be who they want me to be. So, in short, my natural instinct tells me to change who I am to please someone else. But the strong inner self tells me to forget them and their opinions and just be me.
Problem one, my inner self is a very relational person. I can't interact with people who ignore me. Problem two, I want all people to like me. I want to change myself into someone they'll like. Problem three, it can't be done. I spent the day feeling like a prisoner of war in my own body. I was "conflicted". I was making myself crazy trying to figure out how to be me and not care what others think.
My sweet, beautiful husband put it all in perspective for me. He said "Just remember, God says you're beautiful and so do I. And that's all that really counts."
That completely changed the whole situation. I realized that I was so wrapped up in me that I had forgotten Christ. I had lost all spiritual perspective. It was all about me. It was all about how they make me feel and how should I respond and how I didn't want to be hurt. I had to ask myself the big, real questions. Who am I? The daughter of the Most High. What am I? completely loved, completely forgiven and completely righteous. What else matters? Nothing.
That is where my confidence lies. That is where my sense of self comes from. I am beautiful because God says I am. No one elses opinion of me has any value. And armed with that reality, I experienced a moment of clarity. I walked into the situation with love and peace. I had fun. I saw them with the eyes of Christ. I felt bad for them when I saw their striving for acceptance based on possesions. I spoke with confidence and hopefully, without defensiveness.
When I left, my head didn't hurt. I never felt like crying. And I was humbled by how completely and utterly I had forgotten the Cross. One of my favorite verses of Scripture is in 2 Timothy 2:13. It says " If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." He was faithful to me when I had forgotten him. He loves me with a love I cannot even imagine. He doesn't grow disgusted with my strivings. He meets me in that place and whispers my name. And when I finally hear him, my spirit grows quiet and relaxed in the presence of such love. Oh for more moments of clarity like that.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Too Much Food!
Aahhh!!!! I had lost five pounds and I think I gained every pound back today. Ugh. I feel sick. I did great at breakfast. Only a very small amount and healthy stuff at that. But lunch... it was an ugly sight. They had corn casserole, green bean casserole, hashbrown casserole, dressing, brownies, yams... I ate way too much. I tore into it like a monkey on a cupcake. Now I have to repent and walk two miles tomorrow. Why do I do that? I mean, I feel gross and disgusting. I mean, do I even have self-control?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Music
What is it about music that is so involving? Music has the ability to reach the very deepest parts of who I am. If the music is sad, I 'm depressed for days. If it is happy, I smile for days. If it is uplifting, I worship for days. Music can make me cry and laugh and feel.
I hate to cry. I fight it as hard as I can. Not knowingly, but somewhere inside me, I fight it. Sort of like throwing up. I try to think about anything else. I'll watch a movie, read a book, play on the computer, etc. Since I know this about myself, I am very careful. I make myself feel my deepest feelings. I make myself dwell on them and think them through. And if I need to cry, I put on sad music. Works everytime. Why?
And there are certain songs that make me feel like a teenager again. "Walkin' On Sunshine" is one of them. There's a Stevie Nicks song that does it too. What's the name..... I can't remember. "Maybe I'm just thinkin that the rooms are all on fire......" that one. I hear them and I want to dance and sing at the top of my lungs. Why?
But my favorite is our music in church. When I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam sing and play - it does something to me. I literally feel my spirit lifted up. It's like my insides are struggling to get out and fly away to heaven. In those moments, I feel God. I'm not saying that a relationship with God is all about feeling, cause it's not. I know that he is with me all the time, but when I am worshiping, my spirit jumps and sings to him. I feel connected to him. He is there. I remember a verse that says, "He inhabits the praises of his people." (found it... Ps. 22:3 KJV) He is the only thing worthy of praise. He is our praise. Okay, bear with me a second.
I think that God created music to connect directly to our spirits. It was created as a means to worship him. And we were created to glorify God. So in those moments, I am doing and being exactly who I was created to be. And the only good I have in me is because of Him. Because of my union with Christ. So, when I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam worshiping God, my spirit and the Holy Spirit living within me have intimate communion as together we worship the Father. And in those moments, I have a glimpse... a taste of heaven. A brief flash of God's beauty. No wonder my soul wells up within me.
Oh, I love him. He is so cool and so much deeper than I could ever imagine. And even if I could imagine it, no words would ever adequately express it. That's what the spirit is for, to worship without words. To be still and know he is God.
I wonder if Connie, Stokes, Adam, Amber and Jawan and the rest even know how their gifts affect the people around them. God has truly priviledged them with the ability to lead others to himself. Hmmm.... Neat.... Amazing..... Inadequate words. I know.
I hate to cry. I fight it as hard as I can. Not knowingly, but somewhere inside me, I fight it. Sort of like throwing up. I try to think about anything else. I'll watch a movie, read a book, play on the computer, etc. Since I know this about myself, I am very careful. I make myself feel my deepest feelings. I make myself dwell on them and think them through. And if I need to cry, I put on sad music. Works everytime. Why?
And there are certain songs that make me feel like a teenager again. "Walkin' On Sunshine" is one of them. There's a Stevie Nicks song that does it too. What's the name..... I can't remember. "Maybe I'm just thinkin that the rooms are all on fire......" that one. I hear them and I want to dance and sing at the top of my lungs. Why?
But my favorite is our music in church. When I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam sing and play - it does something to me. I literally feel my spirit lifted up. It's like my insides are struggling to get out and fly away to heaven. In those moments, I feel God. I'm not saying that a relationship with God is all about feeling, cause it's not. I know that he is with me all the time, but when I am worshiping, my spirit jumps and sings to him. I feel connected to him. He is there. I remember a verse that says, "He inhabits the praises of his people." (found it... Ps. 22:3 KJV) He is the only thing worthy of praise. He is our praise. Okay, bear with me a second.
I think that God created music to connect directly to our spirits. It was created as a means to worship him. And we were created to glorify God. So in those moments, I am doing and being exactly who I was created to be. And the only good I have in me is because of Him. Because of my union with Christ. So, when I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam worshiping God, my spirit and the Holy Spirit living within me have intimate communion as together we worship the Father. And in those moments, I have a glimpse... a taste of heaven. A brief flash of God's beauty. No wonder my soul wells up within me.
Oh, I love him. He is so cool and so much deeper than I could ever imagine. And even if I could imagine it, no words would ever adequately express it. That's what the spirit is for, to worship without words. To be still and know he is God.
I wonder if Connie, Stokes, Adam, Amber and Jawan and the rest even know how their gifts affect the people around them. God has truly priviledged them with the ability to lead others to himself. Hmmm.... Neat.... Amazing..... Inadequate words. I know.
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