I'm so self-absorbed. I was so depressed today about Kim moving that I FORGOT her birthday. What the heck is wrong with me? Oh, wait, again with the self-absorption.

Happy Birthday to my other sister, also named Kim. You know I love you. And if anyone on the planet can empathize with self-absorption.....

I feel like a dog.

Idea

Someone needs to invent a book holster. That way when I'm in the middle of a particularly engaging plot, I can holster it. And whenever I have a moment to spare, reach down, draw it out and read. I wouldn't have to remember to take it places. And when one of those rare moments comes, like in the drive-up window at the bank, voila... book on the hip, ready for reading. Wouldn't that be great?

Inside My Head

My head is packed and swirling. Like a stream overflowing it's banks. I can't even pull a few thoughts out of the flood to expound upon. Too slippery.

I had a great birthday.
I have to clean out my schoolroom.
I need to plant my garden.
How do I pray for Amber?
Who can I get to teach Jr. High girls?
When is Chris geting home?
Do we have enough milk?
How do I not grow weary in doing good?
What curriculum will I use next year?
Where do I even start in organizing my house?
I miss my mother.
I miss the Hill's already.
I wonder if I'll have time to read today.
The Women's Event took more out of me than I'd realized.


Those are the few that I could grab ahold of. Maybe I'll elaborate later.

I feel better. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. Chris gave me the gospel pep talk and now I'm good.

Focus

Today as Gracie was doing her reading, Chris turned on the television to watch as he folded clothes. Whereas Gracie had been reading like a champ before, now she was struggling. Had the words gotten harder? Nope. Was the sun in her eyes? Nu-uh.

Focus. It's all about focus. Where was she looking? It's pretty hard to read the words of a book when you're looking at the television. I had to keep doing things to get her attention back. Tap the book. Poke her leg. Call her name.

What does God do with me? I'm just like Gracie. I'm clicking right along, doing whatever it is I'm doing, earnestly seeking to glorify God... and *poke* Oh, yeah... what was I doing again? I look around in surprise. All the stuff is getting done, but where is my joy? Where is my motivation? Where is my focus?

I find myself in this position right now. The WIC event is Saturday. I look around and realize that I'm forcing things. Trying to get things done. Trying to make it all work. How did God point out that I'm not focused on Him? I look around and see the lack of joy and motivation in the people I'm with. And then I realize that they are feeding off of me.

What was our original purpose for this event? To glorify God by providing a safe environment for unbelieving women to come and hear the gospel. How do we do this? The seminars are for the purpose of having fun, learning new things and showing that all things are sacred. God is not separate from us. The luncheon is free so that we can give something lovely to the women to show them that we love them. There is childcare so that no woman is excluded. Every aspect of the event is built around the mission of showing the love of Christ to the women who come.

But instead, I caught myself turning it into tasks. "Martha, Martha." I rob the women I'm around of joy. I distract them from the passion of knowing Christ and showing his love to others.

I'm tired. Disappointed. Frustrated with my sin. I know that this event is in God's hands. I know that he's providing for the details. I pray for the handful of women that I know are coming that desperately need Christ. I pray that God's name will be glorified. I also pray that it won't be in spite of me.

Here's the invite for the Spring Event. Super fun, no joke. I hope that every woman reading this knows that she is welcome and wanted. We'll spend time in worship, time in seminars, time in fellowship (aka, eating) and time in learning.

I've seen God use this event in many ways. If you are a member of CPC, then this event gives you a golden opportunity to minister to others. It gives you an opportunity to serve, in one way or another.

Please come. And if you can't come, please pray for the women who will come. Pray that God's glory will be shown.

Most of you know that I love documentaries. They don't even have to be about something that I like. I don't like baseball but I'll sit through and enjoy a 6 hour Ken Burns Baseball film. I've found one that looks promising. And important.

I've posted a link at the top of my links list. Check it out.