Thursday, September 25, 2014

Thankfulness

Tonight I am thankful for many things.

There are things in my life that aren't exactly fun, like my stupid teeth. More specifically, the infected socket that was scraped for fifteen minutes by my dentist and now seems to be feverish. That pretty much sucks. Or like one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world, my Uncle Teddy. What an amazingly wonderful man, who is currently struggling physically with fungal meningitis and complications. That sucks. Or the irritating and completely self-involved customer who just left us a bad review because, *gasp* her food took 45 minutes to come to her table when the restaurant was packed and she's confronted with the fact that she is NOT the center of the known universe. Yeah, that sucks too.

But...

In the midst of all that, I am thankful.

Thankful that I live in the age of dental implants. Otherwise I would be the poor lady with no teeth and terrible halitosis.

Thankful that I have had the blessing of Teddy Jones in my life for the past 41 years. Thankful that he has loved me and my children and husband so well. Thankful that his love for his sister, my mother, connects me to her still. Thankful for the way he can point out my sin with one phrase, "Now Cris." Thankful that he is getting medical treatment and will be with me a bit longer.

Thankful that I get to be a part of a restaurant that has a voice for the gospel in my town. Thankful that people, for the most part, love being there and use us a gathering spot. Thankful that, but for a very unkind people, we can make people smile and be happy.

I am also thankful for the hours spent with my children, remembering funny stories or laughing about old movies, or talking about their future. I am thankful that they want to talk to Chris and I about dating and sin and really, really important things. I am thankful that all those years of thankless sacrifice have a reward and I get to see it and experience it.

I am thankful for friends who are honest and share their struggles. Thankful that with grace, we can be open and transparent about our sins and craziness and not be destroyed and condemned. I am thankful that the best people I know want to be my friend. That's amazing to me.

Now I am off to bed because my pain medicine will kick in soon and my face hurts and I have to get up early in the morning.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Inner Life and Personal Theology

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm off the mark, but I think we don't need to know everything our loved ones think. Maybe there's such a thing as too much honesty.

When I'm tired I think mean, selfish thoughts. When I'm selfish, I wish that other people would just do things my way and be happy about it. When I'm in my flesh, I think things completely opposed to what my redeemed inner self truly believes.

Out of the heart the mouth speaks... but does that apply to my redeemed and reborn heart? In Romans 7, Paul explains that the flesh is a separate entity from who I am in Christ. "So it is no longer I who do it (sin), but sin that dwells within me." So that evil that comes out of my mouth, is the evil that lies close at hand. (V21)

I don't know all the deep things of God. I DO know that I don't want to know the grumpy, selfish thoughts of my closest friends towards me. There is grace to cover that. I let love cover that sin. (1 Peter 4:8) And I don't want them to know my grumpy, selfish, sinful thoughts- that's why I try very hard to not say them out loud. That's why gossip is so destructive; it indulges the flesh. The very flesh that should be crucified daily, not fed and petted.