Jeremiah 1:7

We had the most amazing prayer time tonight at church. Every other week, we meet in the evening to eat together and pray. We pray first. Tonight Rick asked Ty to open. I could tell it made him a little uncomfortable but I think he's used to it. Rick, and all the other men at the church, don't treat him as if he's just a kid or a "youth". They treat him like a fellow member, a peer of sorts. They involve him in conversations and let him have input. Most of the time he sits and listens. He plays with the other boys, the ones closer to his age. He plays with the little ones. Jack (age 4) especially adores him.

Two years ago, Ty prayed every night for God to bring a boy his age to Springville church. We prayed with him. I saw how much he missed his friends from Moody. I saw him grow more and more disheartened. Then I saw him give up. One year ago, Ty hated Springville. He was angry with God.

I saw something amazing happen though. I saw my son become part of a church. Not part of a youth group or part of a Bible study for people his age, but part of a church - as a whole. It took some time, a detox in a way. He was so accustomed to being consigned to his peers that he didn't realize he was part of a bigger body.

Tonight, Ty prayed not just the one time to open, but a total of three times. Maggie prayed. Gracie prayed. Three of the other kids prayed as well. Ty's prayer was not for people his own age, as he used to pray, but for "other Christians" who didn't have what he has. Who didn't have a church family... those were his words, a "church family that will love them."

I can recount a similar series of events for Maggie.

A couple of months ago my teenagers sat at the kitchen table and tearfully expressed gratitude. They love being part of a whole. There is something to be said for not having a traditional youth group. There is such a benefit in my teenaged daughter sitting in women's Bible study and learning, from watching and listening, how to be a godly woman. There is such benefit in my teenaged son working side by side with godly men who teach him, not just how to install siding, but how to live out the gospel.

I see so many youth who depend solely on their peers for spiritual support, who go to churches with sketchy theology just because they have good programs for kids their age. I promise, I am not anti-youth group. I think Stokes does a great job. But I think sometimes we, as communing adults, take it too far. We allow the presence of a paid youth worker to relieve us of the privilege of coming along side younger believers and investing in their lives.

Maybe I'm just expressing my own experiences. Maybe God has just been particularly gracious to my church planting children. Maybe we can have it both ways, I don't know. What I do know is that my children are growing and flourishing and really happy. Happier than I've ever seen them. They're not more comfortable. In fact, they feel more pain in the form of compassion and sorrow. They are, however, content and more aware of their place in a whole, as opposed to seeking their own pleasure.

Teaching our youth to have a kingdom mindset and heart for the lost requires them to know their place in the Kingdom. It requires them to know the rest of the body. What good is it to teach them how to resist peer pressure if they're not given a greater affection? What benefit is it to teach them how to relate to others if they're never around people who are different than themselves (in age, experience and struggle)? My children are part of the Body of Christ. They needed to know that. They need their covenant aunts, uncles, grandparents, and yes, peers. They need time together with people their own age, but they also need all of us.