How Can I Rest?

Do you ever feel like life just punches you in the face? I did yesterday. After an amazing week of being with sisters in Christ and praying and reading my Bible all day, I came home to life.

My family was wonderful. My neighbor-friend cleaned my house and it was all lovely. All the things in my life were swimming along. Then I opened the mail... and then I talked to the accountant... and then I went to the cardiologist... and evil knew right where to smack me. Money. The creeping sense of panic in my gut. The fear and urge to plan and strategize. The temptation to despair and shake my fist at God like the pirate I used to be. 

But God was there. He whispered in my ear while I got ready for the day. Am I not with you always? He was there in my words as I talked to my children about why I was upset. Haven't I always taken care of you? He was in the heart of my dear friend Melissa when she messaged, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. He was in His Word when I sank onto the sofa in weariness to read. The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. He was there. 

He quiets my soul and soothes my fears. I don't have to fear. I don't have to pick a fight with him so that he will remember me. My name is written on his hands. Hands that bear the mark of his death for my forgiveness. He will provide. Just as he always has. 

*deep breath*

Rest.