Random Thoughts for This January Night

Random thoughts for the day:

1. My house is really quiet most of the time now. Except for the piano, guitar and singing. Other than that, pretty quiet. Gone, for the most part, are the days of racing cars up and down the hallway and slamming doors and everybody talking or yelling at once. They're all pretty grown up and articulate themselves without all the screaming.

2. I have just a few more months of everybody living under the same roof. Just a few. Surreal.

3. Because of numbers one and two, I am really looking forward to our big trip this year. Lots of memories to be made and they're all old enough to remember them.

4. Brody started art lessons today. He wants to be able to sketch the Roman Forum, so line drawing it is. His teacher, Mrs Rachel, is particularly fond of, and good at, architectural drawings. He's in good hands. Today he sketched a wooden tool box with a rope handle. It was very, very good! He walked down the drive and sketched the neighbors house. She saw him sitting out in her yard and texted me. She thought his sketchbook was a dinner plate and he was sitting out there eating and staring at her house. Ha.

5. I started running last August. I hadn't run since high school. I forgot how much I like it. I worked my way up to 5k, now I'm trying to work up to 10k. Yesterday I ran 4 miles. It shocks me that I'm able to do that. Shocks and awes and makes me really grateful. I'm learning about self-control as a fruit of the Spirit.

6. My kids are all about fitness. Ty and Gracie are actually weight lifting. Gracie is in the 500 lb club and Ty is almost to the 1,000 lb club. Maggie works out several times a week and Brody rides his bike every day, adjusting the gears to make it harder. I'm proud of them!

7. I am going to read through the Bible this year. I think I've read it before, but never in a program of which chapters on which days. I'm curious to find out what I've never read before.

8. I got to spend the day with KimHill today. I had to take the Honda to the dealership to have the airbags replaced because of a recall, so she picked me up and we went shopping. We also ate lunch at Red Robin and almost cried when we put our calories into My Fitness Pal afterwards. That was a thousand calorie meal. I couldn't believe it! And I got water and no bun. Good grief.

9. I don't like that I feel self-conscious about so many things. I feel embarrassed if I talk about running. Or my eating healthier. Or reading through the Bible. I know. I know. I just typed it out in this blog post, but no one will see it if I don't post the link to Facebook. Why does it make me self-conscious? I think I'm afraid that someone will mock me, or make fun of me.
When I first started losing weight, I told NO ONE except my kids and Chris. They have been my biggest cheerleaders. Ty always high-fives me when I hit a PR with my running. The girls dress me and tell me how cute I am and how small I'm getting. Chris just has this quiet, solid way of grinning at me that encourages me. And he talks me off the ledge periodically.
I wish I could just live my life without thinking about what other people are thinking. Or without comparing myself to my mother- which always makes me itchy and sad and vaguely hopeless feeling.
I wish I could remember the truth of the gospel and my true identity. All of the time.

10. I can see, hear and feel God taking away my childhood coping mechanisms. It is terrifying and freeing and gorgeous. Reminds me of Eustace shedding his dragon skin.

I'm sleepy. And since I want to get up early to run, I should go to bed now. Enough rambling...