Part of Marriage is...

Part of married life is reassurance. It's reassuring one another that it will all be okay in the end. The money will work out. The opportunities will show up. The hard work will one day be worth it. The kids will understand. The yard will eventually get cut. The dreams will either fade away or God will provide a way.

Part of married life is not taking it personally. It's not taking the other's insecurities as lack of faith in you. It's remembering that they really do love you as much as you love them. It's being patient when they need a little more of you right now. It's kissing them fifteen extra times just to stay connected.

Part of married life is being laid low. It's giving your dreams time to simmer while the other pursues their own. It's repeating yourself for the third time when you hate repetition. It's smiling and remembering how much they need you. It's patience.

Part of marriage is comforting each other when you both feel forgotten. It's letting your own faith be the kick-stand that keeps the other from falling over when their faith is weak. It's holding hands and pressing on.

My great grandmother told me that marriage is never 50/50, could never be. Marriage is when each person gives one hundred percent. Only then can marriage be beautiful. Part of marriage is giving when you don't want to, when you don't have it in you. It's holding tighter and fighting harder when you want to give up.

Marriage is whispering in the dead of night. It's hugs in the pantry. It's holding hands at the grocery store. It's pivotal conversations spoken through shower curtains while he's getting ready for work. It's reassurance that the kids know the really important things that we hope we've taught them. It's kisses that hold long enough to exchange a breath. It's optimism taken in turns.

Marriage is a marathon. It's a long, breath-stealing, muscle-burning race. It's being part of something more that yourself. It's sharing oneness with this other person who wants to be your favorite person, who is your favorite person.

Marriage is nothing like I thought it would be. It's much harder, much more interesting. What started out as an adrenaline rush has turned into a cathartic rhythm of life. It's continually morphing into this friendship that cannot be explained. There is no need for explanation. The only person who needs to understand is walking, sometimes limping, it with me.