Tuesday, February 25, 2014

February

"This is February, month of Valentine's Day and the beginning of spring in Ireland. It's supposed to be a month of love and new beginnings, but I've been struggling- especially in the last few days- with how small and cold my heart can be, and how little change seems to be happening in my life. Looking inward, there's not a lot of hope I can see. But God has made me a crazy promise that I am "competent to minister" (2 Corinthians 3:6) through a Spirit that breathes life into the most unlikely places.  When He lifts my eyes to that promise, I see how His Kingdom moves inexorably forward in my most flawed and clumsy efforts. The hope in that is inexhaustible."   -Laura Carmel Palmer

After a day of utter failure at every thing I've touched, this short devotional really resonates with me. It's been a day of failing at motherhood, friendship, homemaking, work ... You name it, I've failed at it.

In addition to these failures is the stark pain and suffering. There is death on every side. Cancer. Alzheimer's. Abortion. The suffering of racism and hatred. The pains of addiction. The destruction of marriages. Atheism expressed in overt anger... All of these things in one single,  exhausting, miserable day.

Like the writer above, I look inside and don't see much hope. I am woefully, horrifyingly incompetent. Nothing I seem to do works. Like the writer, I lift my eyes up to the promise, desperate for some kind of reassurance, and find the countenance of a loving Father who is making all things right, in spite of my clumsy efforts. His Kingdom knows no end.

There is an overflowing abundance of hope in the smiling face of the God who loves me.