Granny's Office

I find it slightly disturbing that my grandmother has a home office set up in her bathroom around her toilet. Within easy reach is a telephone, a wall calendar, a clock, a dictionary, a concordance and a Bible. There are various and sundry magazines, a book of home remedies and an oscillating fan. Hmmm. How much time is really spent in there? Do her feet not go to sleep? How many times have I called her when she was in her "office"? What does she really get done in there, besides the obvious? It disturbing really. And that's all I have to say about that.

Whining and Ungratefulness

Is there a connection? I think there must be.

Today, Chris and I decided to go camping with the kids. But in order to do that there are things around the house that need to be done. The grass needs to be cut, the house cleaned, laundry finished, etc. The kids don't really whine anymore about their daily chores. (Thanks for the chore chart idea, Jenny.) But if you tell them to do something else, like... picking up their own stupid toys out of the yard, well apparently that's just unreasonable. They were created to play, right? To be served hand and foot by their maid, oops, Mother, right? Grrrrr.

At the start of things, they flopped and slumped and whined and dragged their feet. My gracious response? "Waaa-waaa-waaa. Boohoo. Hate it for ya. You are part of this family. Good, bad and difficult. What is our motto?"

*eye rolls* "Do the right thing at the right time whether you want to or not." *sigh*

Suppressing the urge to strangle my offspring, I respond with "Obedience with a bad attitude is the same as disobedience."

They got my meaning... if they follow the letter of the law and do their chores with these attitudes, we won't go anywhere. I don't care how clean the house is. Ingrates.

And then somewhere along the way I begin to think about my own heart. Dang. Self-righteousness has a definite appeal to it. I don't whine out loud that much anymore but my heart flops and slumps and drags, fighting the will of God. I'm not grateful for more work. I'm much more inclined to sit on my rump. Does this mean that I'm ungrateful for the blessings of God? That I don't want to serve Him but be served by Him? I think the answer has to be "Yes."

So where does that leave me? My children are sinners just like their momma. Yuck.

First Catechism:
Q. 42: Who can change a sinner's heart?
A. The Holy Spirit alone.

Q. 63: How can you get the help of the Holy Spirit?
A. God has told us to pray for the Holy Spirit's help.

What am I teaching my children? Am I teaching them the power of the gospel? Or am I teaching them to try harder-do better? Hmmm. What do I depend on: the gospel or myself? Who do I serve: myself or Christ?

I added some songs to my playlist. They're down at the bottom. B52s, Stray Cats, etc. The kids love dancing to it. I do too. Fun times. Hope you enjoy it too. I put it at the bottom because they're not songs that I want to listen to every day. But they are fun. I dare you to give it a listen and not dance or at least tap your toes.

I am very sunburned on my legs. And a little on my face. I don't like it.

The Trip

I enjoyed the trip immensely. I think that I really needed to go. I saw God work in our kids. There was very minimal conflict, just your ordinary stuff. There were, of course, your different groups but they mixed pretty well. Brian's teaching was convicting and thought provoking. All in all, I was challenged, entertained (Palmer and Jordan were there, after all), affirmed, convicted and allowed by the Father to deepen relationships with the kids. I am thankful.

Things I want from you:
1. Please pray for our youth. Pray that they would realize that God is real, not a concept. Pray that God would give them a deepening love for Him and that they would grow in the knowledge of Him.
2. Tell the kids individually that you're praying for them. They need to hear it.
3. Don't expect the worst from them. Expect God to grow them. Expect maturity from them.

Now, I know that many non-youth people read my blog but I must exclude you for just a moment. I'd like to take a minute to pay tribute to 'my girls'.

Here is a list of memories from our trip:
1. pineapple pie
2. Pumpkin!
3. peanut butter shrimp
4. the would-be Go Go dancer at the bookstore
5. Johnny Depp *sigh*
6. Hispanic stalkers
7. short shorts
8. George
9. Nilla wafers at the pool
10. chips out the van window
11. Cobi
12. The Bourne tactics
13. chip pushers
14. country music
15. Kurt Cobane's notebook
16. pictionary at midnight
17. One-eyed Abby
18. Old Greg
19. "Aww, doo-doo! I stepped raght in that wawter!"
20. Muenster cheese
21. Evan's shirt
22. "It's crackin'! I can hear it!"

This trip was awesome. I laughed soooo hard! Thank you girls for letting me be a part of it.

A brief memory of each person... Palmer with a bag on his head. Jordan wearing a cape. Heath outside late at night "getting his stuff". Justin on the bungee swing. Evan and his friend "Ryon with an O". Jeremy and his seaweed tricks. Ben's enormous splashes. Caleb's socks and flip-flops. George's need for Tylenol. Cobi and Rock Paper Scissors. Andrew and the giant crab. Blakely/Brinkley/Betty Sue. Katrina playing with Witt. Haley's awesome pictionary skills. Shareen stealing my sunglasses. Abby stealing my pillow. Becky's drawing of Stokes. Ashley's straight hair. Hannah Grace and the bookstore. Kayla's cool t-shirt. Emma's need for sleep. Stokes' uncontrollable laughter. Steven's funny responses on the walkie talkie. Boo's grocery list skills.

Now I must get off the computer and finish unpacking everyone from this trip and start packing for Mississippi. See you soon.

P.S. After yet another attempt to stay awake for Raider's of the Lost Ark, I must admit I was unsuccessful. I slept through it again.

Seaside, Books and the Search For Truth

"She walked through the bookstore in search of truth. She was cold. She was wet from the rain. She needed to use the bathroom. But all these things paled in comparison to her desperate search for truth. She couldn't shake the feeling that one of these books, one of these colorful, rich, tantalizing books, would change her life. If only she could find it."

I know the feeling. I took the girls to Seaside today. We ate ice cream and shopped and ended up in a book/music store. I walked through, as I usually do, wondering which books are the "good" books. I start out any trip to the bookstore with excitement, which fades to wonder, which fades to bewilderment. And then I rarely buy anything for fear of spending money on something I hate. Oh well. I realized today that, as much as I love to read, I always wait for someone to hand me a book or recommend one before I try it. I find that curious. Now I will think on that for a bit...

The beach is great. The trip has been wonderful. Thanks for praying for us. Please continue.

Thanks to George for the use of his laptop. I needed a blogging break.

Things I've Learned The Hard Way

1. Avoid giving your kids red Kool-aid when there's a stomach bug going around.
2. Always make a list.
3. Never force an otherwise good eater to eat a supper of chili. You might wake up at midnight with chili-vomit in your hair.
4. Always look where you are going.
5. If black diamond ski slopes scare you, don't attempt them.
6. Chose your orthopaedic surgeon wisely.
7. Always say "I love you" to the people you love before you part.
8. Never assume that an electric fence is off.
9. Never guess about how much money is in your checking account. (this leads to #9b- sign up for overdraft protection)
10. Finish everything that needs to be finished before you move into your new house, otherwise it will never get done.
11. Be very specific when dealing with children.
12. Speak up in crisis situations. If you want an autopsy done on your mother, insist. You'll never get another chance to find out what really happened.
13. Don't avoid conflict too much. It only gets worse.
14. Periodically check on the activities of your children. You just never know.
15. Don't be afraid to call Poison Control. They are very nice and helpful.
16. Study theology. Know who God is.
17. Don't ignore certain passages of Scripture. It's all important.
18. Respect your husband.
19. Floss every day.
20. Choose a dentist with flexible payment plans.
21. Pay your water bill.
22. Know how to change a tire.
23. Learn some PR skills.
24. The Post Office does not make mistakes. Or so they say.
25. Know yourself. Learn what you like. Or don't like. Stand firm in who God made you to be.
26. Don't waste your life trying to please everybody.
27. Add 10% to any building budget.
28. Keep up with warranty information.
29. Don't allow your kids to eat or drink in your vehicle. You will regret it. (think spills, stains and vomit)
30. Don't be afraid of the plan of God.

Well, I suppose I should update. It's been a while. I was surprised to see how long it's been since I've blogged last. I guess I've been pretty busy.

I'm trying to get the school room taken apart. Maggie's getting her own room... finally. We've outgrown our school room. We haven't used it for anything other than storage this year. The living room has worked just fine. So, Chris built me a great big built-in bookshelf in the living room. It has cabinets on the bottom and shelves up top. All of my school stuff fits perfectly. And it's gorgeous. I'm so so pleased. You should come see. So now I just have to finish emptying the school room, clean all the writing/marks off the walls, putty the holes, prime, and paint. Simple...

I leave in the morning to go on the Sr. High Beach trip. We come back Monday afternoon. Then we leave Tuesday to go to Mississippi. I really have a lot to be doing right now.

I went over to Kara's yesterday. Several of us got together to watch Jane Eyre. (which is my favorite book and now my favorite movie) The movie is all that I desperately wanted for my birthday. It's almost 4 hours long but worth it. There's something really wonderful about watching a great movie with your friends. We laughed together. We cried. We cheered when they finally kissed. The comments were funny. Emma and I had a great time since we'd both read the book recently. We had our own little short-hand.
"Is this the..."
"No that's later."
"After the..."
"Yeah."
What a great time! I felt such a lovely feeling of belonging. Everyone loved the movie, which affirmed me... not sure why that is.

Well, I'm gonna go. If I think Of anything else to blog about (meaning, if I feel inspired) I'll blog again before I leave. Otherwise, see ya later.

My Day

Guess what? Still clean. I know. Amazing. No dirty clothes or dirty dishes. Clean living room. I'm enjoying it too. Not taking it for granted.

Today I worked in the garden and cut the grass. For supper we ate grilled chicken, grilled corn and mac and cheese. My tummy's full and my body's tired. And a little smelly. Right now, all I want is a bath, a cup of coffee and good book.

But first the kids and I are going to read about Joan of Arc, our person of the week. Turns out, she's not Noah's wife at all. She was French. She was a teenager. And since 1920, she 's a saint. Hmmm. Cool.

Satisfied Sighs

I look around my almost too clean house with a satisfied sigh. About hour #4 my kids began to understand the brevity of what they'd done by waking Chris and they quit complaining. They worked, bless their hearts. For 7 hours. My house is amazing. Sparkling clean. Just don't go to my room. That didn't get touched. Ugh.

At one point early on, one of them collapsed on the floor, too tired to go on. My question was "I'm sorry, did you just run up three flights of stairs to get to a code? Have you done chest compressions for an hour without a break? No? Then get up and quit whining. You're still not working as hard as Daddy." She.. oops.. the anonymous child got up and with minimal complaints got back to work. Chris felt that I was a bit harsh since he didn't do either of those things last night either. But he could have. That, my friend, is the point. Respect your Daddy child.

But as I look around, I know in the back of my mind that it won't always look this way. I think it was this that my mother pursued until her death: a quick fix to becoming someone that she was not. I am never going to wake up one morning and suddenly think in an organized fashion. I'll likely never get to a point where I even see all of the clutter that other people see. Everyone has certain flaws that stick with them all their lives. Everyone. This is mine. I am not naturally organized. I tend toward messiness. It's one of my most battled flaws.

And that's not so bad really. Because in these flaws I experience grace. These very flaws remind me that I'm broken, not all put together, imperfect. Brokenness points me to what I long for... perfection. I want a righteousness of my own. I want to do it myself. But every time I look at my dusty ceiling fan or cluttered desk my self-righteousness is cut to the quick. And sometimes that feels like worthlessness or depression when really it is God cutting out the heart of an idol.

I will never be organized or a neat freak. This shows me that I will never be able to build a righteousness of my own. The only righteousness I can claim is Christ's. And when I claim that righteousness, my heart is comforted. I am relieved of a burden that is not even mine to carry. I still strive for cleanliness but with the knowledge that I'll never do it perfectly. I still walk out my salvation knowing that God's pleasure in me has nothing to do with my closets. And I sigh again with satisfaction. Hmmm. Enjoying this moment of shalom.

Punishment

My kids are under severe punishment today. They woke their Daddy up yesterday... By their screaming and fighting. So today, I woke them up with screaming and they're working for 8 hours. They get one 15 minute break and a 30 minute lunch. The rest of the time they're working. So far, my oven's been scrubbed, my floors swept, laundry folded and put away, bathroom scrubbed, bathroom closets organized, couch moved and cleaned under, and school shelf cleaned. And that's just 2 hours of work. Gracie asked, "What if we finish it all before 8 hours?" I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, I'll find something for you to do."

My goal is for them to be able to empathize with their Daddy. They will work. A lot. And I will try not to enjoy it.


P.S. Gracie's foot gave us a scare. It got redder and developed a raised hard place. It was a little concerning. But now it seems to be fading. I'm very relieved. Thanks for your prayers.

Things On My Mind

Well, yesterday Gracie was bitten by a brown recluse spider. We were able to catch it, so now it's submerged in rubbing alcohol in a jar. I called Poison Control. They called me back 3 times over the course of the day. So far, Gracie has a bruise and a tiny bit of redness. It seems that she'll be fine with no big problems. I'd love for you to pray about that anyway though. Thanks.

The butcher called to let me know that our side of beef will be ready for pickup at the end of the week. I'm super glad. Organic meat just tastes better. Less fat, yada yada yada. The only problem with this is that our deep freezer died. Now obviously, I cannot keep 200 pounds of beef in my little freezer. So today we went to Lowe's and bought one. I like it very much.
If any of you are considering the purchase of a deep freeze, do your homework. We bought a chest freezer for several reasons.
1. I don't need to be able to get to 70 pounds of ground beef. It can be piled up a bit.
2. Chest freezers don't get left open because the weight of the lid closes it.
3. Chest freezers hold more.
4. Chest freezers are more energy efficient. Hot air rises, so when you open the lid, cold air doesn't escape.
5. Chest freezers are cheaper.
So for our purposes, a chest freezer is better. Now, my sister is a firm believer in upright freezers. To each his own.

I teased KimHill last week that they had way more stuff than we do. I said that because to admit any differently was nauseating. Now I'm home and the magnitude of that lie is staring me in the face. So this week, I shall purge my house. Lots of purging. My home is temporarily bulimic. The closets, cabinets, baskets, corners, attic, books, etc. are being gone through. Chris is all for it. I took a moment to make sure that he understood that this means that our house will look horrible for this week. It will look much worse before it looks better. Maybe I'll do some before and after pictures. Then again, maybe not. It might be too embarrassing.

My garden looks good. I need to weed it again. But the corn is almost big enough to thin out. I can't wait. I'm gonna can and freeze and probably hate it by the time I'm done.

This summer Chris, the kids and I are going to study different people. Joan of Arc (Noah's wife, right Burt?), Albert Einstein, Hudson Taylor, Eric Lidel, Sitting Bull, and some others. Person of the Week. And maybe a Place of the Week based on the person. Sounds fun, huh?

Well that's pretty much what's on my mind. I think I blogged to avoid the purging. *sigh* I'm lazy already.

Check out my Slide Show!

I'm home. And so very sad. I had to leave my friends in Mississippi. It's where God wants them to be. I feel as I write this that some may think that I say these things lightly but that's not the case. I feel it to the very core of my being.

Kim and Quinn's home is great. Big. A completely ridiculous amount of storage space. Perfect. And temporarily outdated. When Kim's done that house won't know what hit it.

Things we accomplished this week:
Turned on the water
Unloaded the truck
Cleaned
Set up furniture
Unloaded all but one box (we don't count Quinn's boxes of books)
Repaired the hot water heater
Replaced outlets
Replaced thermostats
Hooked up the ice maker
Stripped wallpaper in kitchen and dining
Painted kitchen and dining
Caulked
Fixed toilet
Fixed shower
Replaced locks and deadbolts
Stripped more wallpaper
Replaced knobs on entertainment center
Repaired china cabinet
Spackled
Repaired rocker
Organized closets and drawers
Put in shower organizers
Stripped more wallpaper
Set up Quinn's office
Built bookshelves
Filled a box with stuff that needed to come back to Moody
Repaired armoire
Bought a gorgeous table
Went to the Mexican restaurant
Went to see Prince Caspian
Laughed
Stayed up late
Did without hot water
Stripped wallpaper
Said good-bye

Random thoughts:

I'm sure Kim will blog about the tragedy of lack of thrift stores. It's quite pitiful.
Bren took lots of pictures. I'll see about posting them.
Felix is unlikable at 6:00 am.
We ate watermelon everyday.
Children can live happy lives without television.
Soft water makes bathing difficult.
Wallpaper makes me angry.
KimHill makes me laugh. Especially late at night.
Bren's Indian name is "Strapping Young Lad Who Moves Things"
Ty works like a man.
I am exhausted. I've been up for 18 hours.

Good night.

Too Much of a Good Thing

My kids bicker sometimes but for the most part they play really well together. They're friends. They love being together. They have their moments of nastiness, but don't we all?

Tonight has been an ecstatic, fun night. They're laughing, wrestling, having sock wars, chasing, tickling, and generally being goofy. Do I have a problem with this? Yep. They're having so much fun that they won't do anything else. They don't even hear me when I talk. They're not folding their clothes or putting up their toys or eating their supper. They're having fun. They're not open to anything else. I am seriously annoyed. I hate being disrespected by being ignored.

About the time I'm ready for a meltdown, or what my mother called a 'hissy fit', I have a spiritual epiphany. I do the same thing to God. When I'm happy-happy-happy, having fun, lovin' life, I ignore him. I don't seek him or hear his voice. I seek my own pleasure and hear my own desires calling to me raucously, like a hyperactive sister who's throwing socks at my face.

Nothing wrong with fun. Not a thing. But first things first. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be about? What am I seeking pleasure and satisfaction from? When is comfort really sin? Do I really believe that God deserves my all? Do I really believe that all is found in God?

It took discipline to get their attention. What does it take to get mine?

David Letterman - Russel Brand May-15-2008 -- {High Quality}

I saw this bit on t.v. last night and laughed out loud several times. Just wanted to share.

A Random List of Things I Don't Do

1. Switch out loads of laundry in a timely fashion. Soured clothing... ugh.





2. Smell underwear that's on the floor. If it happens to be clean, it can just be washed again. Cause I ain't smellin' it.





3. Ask my husband how he likes my outfit. He has very different tastes than I do. I will only get hurt.





4. Play practical jokes. I can think them up all day long, I just can't keep a straight face to pull them off.



5. Think that my sister looks like my twin.



6. Organize my utensil drawer.



7. Touch bugs. I'll kill snakes but I cannot touch a bug bare-handed.



8. Play an instrument. I took piano for 3 years and can't even read music. Pathetic.



9. Leave someone's house when I should. I think I always overstay my welcome.



10. Go to bed early. I cannot fall asleep before 9:00. I just can't.



11. Get up early. As in, before 7:30 am. See #10.



12. Deal well with change. I like for things to stay just as they are. No change-y.



13. Clean my kitchen up after every meal. Scott thought of this one. Apparently this bothers him. I sorta don't care.



14. Own real jewelry. I will absolutely, positively lose it. And then I'll hate myself forever.



15. Enjoy the ballpark. I despise the lack of seating, the smells, the bugs, the less than professional athletic abilities, the heat and/or the cold, the lack of shade, the sometimes bad attitudes. I don't like it. I do it but I don't have to like it.



16. Let Chris handle the finances. He might commit suicide.



17. Bake.



18. Play video games. It's not possible for me to care less about video games. Not possible.

19. Go fishing, hunting or similar activities. I will however go camping, provided that there's electricity, water and a bath house within a minutes walk or a 30 second jog, whichever the case may be.

20. Argue with my children. Because... they are children.

I guess that's all. I could think of more but I'm done.

Redemption

Redemption... I'm learning a lot about redemption. If you'd asked me a year ago what it meant I would have answered, "It's when Christ paid the cost for my sins." Which is very, very true. But incomplete.

There is another aspect of redemption that has to do with making all things right. Making all things new. A "this too shall be made right" kind of deal. Sanctification.

I see it displayed on our property. We have a hillside that was completely grown up. Thorn bushes, privet, sweet gums, honeysuckle and a single vine of the dreaded kudzu. We worked for days cleaning and clearing. Cutting and mowing. Even burning. Now the hill is cleared but rocky and rutted. We still need to smooth it and sow grass seed.

What did we do to that hillside? In a very real sense we redeemed it. Now we will maintain it or sustain it. The hill was in the grip of the Fall. We are making it beautiful. Or trying to anyway.

I have experienced the "already" of grace but everyday I feel the painful "not yet" of ongoing sanctification. I am redeemed but God is still making me 'right'. He is still weeding, mowing, burning, clearing. It's painful and frustrating for me the hillside. But He is making all things right. He is making me new. He is redeeming me. And He will not fail or grow weary or give me up as too much trouble. He is able.

I'm so self-absorbed. I was so depressed today about Kim moving that I FORGOT her birthday. What the heck is wrong with me? Oh, wait, again with the self-absorption.

Happy Birthday to my other sister, also named Kim. You know I love you. And if anyone on the planet can empathize with self-absorption.....

I feel like a dog.

Idea

Someone needs to invent a book holster. That way when I'm in the middle of a particularly engaging plot, I can holster it. And whenever I have a moment to spare, reach down, draw it out and read. I wouldn't have to remember to take it places. And when one of those rare moments comes, like in the drive-up window at the bank, voila... book on the hip, ready for reading. Wouldn't that be great?