Hello?

The telephone..... This is one of those things that I just don't get too het up about. ('Het up' being a phrase of my Grandmother's meaning excited) I am, by nature, a people pleaser. But when it comes to the telephone, I just don't care all that much.

Now when Chris reads this, he's going to disagree. He thinks that I'm too attached to it. He thinks that because I answer it when it rings. He is of the opinion that phones are a waste of time and money and that it probably causes cancer anyway... so why use them? He would rather drive the 40 minutes to downtown Birmingham and just take the chance that whatever store he's going to will have what he needs instead of calling ahead.

I, on the other hand, use it at my convenience but I don't tote it around with me. Sometimes I even turn the ringer off. God forbid! We have a cell phones but Chris and I combined use less than 400 minutes a month.

I know it angers many of my friends that I'm hard to reach and for that I am truly sorry. But phones annoy me sometimes. There are times that I enjoy it but if I'm involved in something already and the phone rings, I'm probably not going to answer. Sorry. Sue me.

In The Still of The Morning

Some days, time seems to speed by. I guess I should have said, "most days." And then, out of the blue, I am blessed with a day that creeps by.

Today was a creeper. I got my house clean, played with the kids, cut the grass, made about a dozen pints of strawberry jam(with Kim's help of course) and did a crossword puzzle. I visited my new neighbor, cooked supper and planned some WIC stuff. Now I'm blogging. And I never felt the least bit rushed. Days like today are a rare blessing and I for one don't take them for granted.

Most days I do my Bible study time at night after the kids are asleep. But today, I just woke up before the kids and sat and read my Bible. No studying, no lesson planning, just reading. God and I had a little time together, just the two of us. It was lovely. And I realized all over again that all my time with Him doesn't have to be earnest seeking or needy thirsting. Sometimes it can be quiet intimacy. Comforting. Familiar. Quiet. Sweet.

Today was a day for a "Good morning, Father." And he said "Good morning" back. All day long.

Things Heard At My House

These are actual things that have been said at my house. Some are hard to believe but, well, believe it.

Brody get out of the dryer.

What did you flush?

Momma, he hit me back!

Why are you on the refrigerator?

Do not shoot your sister with a bb gun!

I’m bleeding again!

Do not pee in my flower pots!

Why is there nail polish on the baby?

Don’t sit on your brother’s head.

Can I use this knife for just a minute?

Moooommmaaa, Ellas fell off the porch again!

Don’t throw up on the carpet! Go to the hard floor.

Can I have this egg to play with?

Momma, you have got to come see Ty's poop!

But my all time favorite is....

"Momma, we need a lighter and a pair of scissors."

To which I replied, "Um..., no you don't."

Catch-up

Time for catching you all up on my wonderfully exciting life. Right, uh-huh.

Let's see... Maggie had a birthday. She's 10 now. Good grief. I'm getting old.

My stupid dog Molly got a root stuck in her mouth. It got wedged in the back of her mouth. She could swallow and breathe but not eat. Boo and I held her down while Chris used pliers to "unstick" it. She's a sweet dog though. She never even growled. She's still goofy though.

We celebrated Passover last week. One word... A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! It's such a powerful feast to celebrate. If you've never done it, you're missing a big chunk of Easter and Communion. I think the thing that strikes me every time is how God had a plan. If the Passover feast pointed to Christ all those years before he came, it proves that God has a plan. Not a plan 'B' or an idea. My life is in his control and good will. Makes me happy.

Brody has started potty training. Yeah!!!!! (wild clapping is heard) He tried to take himself potty the other day, but he's still not tall enough to use the toilet. So he ended up peeing on the front of the toilet and making a puddle in the floor. Lovely. Hey, but at least he's trying. Maybe I should lay down newspapers.

Easter was a beautiful day. Not just the weather but the whole of it. We went to church and then to Jasper to see my grandparents. All my cousins were there. One cousin has a little girl about a year younger than Brody named Anna Grace. She's a cutie. She calls Brody "boy". Brody calls her "baby". It was like being in a Tarzan movie - boy and baby. I'll post a picture of them.

Every week my aunt lays out my Nanny's clothes for her. So for Easter, she had a complete outfit laid out. That afternoon, I overheard many whispered conferences on how Nanny had worn the completely wrong outfit. Conjectures of her Ahlzeimer's were thrown about. I went to the front porch to sit with Nanny and offered a compliment on her pretty suit that she had worn. It really was pretty. Well the knee-high stockings could've be done without but that's neither here nor there. She rubbed the sleeve and said, "Thank you. I've always liked it. It wasn't what I was supposed to wear though." I asked why she wore it then. Her response was "because I didn't like what was laid out, so I changed it." Cracked me up. Her Dad used to say, "I'm young enough to think it up and old enough to get away with it." I say.... Go Nanny!

Kim and I took the kids to the nursing home to see Aunt Dicie. It broke my heart. She's lost weight and seems depressed. They bathe her everyday but she's stuck in that bed. She can't walk and they don't take her for rides in a wheelchair. It made me angry. So, we're going back and taking her for a walk. We're also sending her pictures and cards. And next visit, we're taking a pretty comforter for her bed. Please pray for her. She needs it. They keep her healthy and clean but there's not much kindness and love.

All these things point me to Christ and heaven. In heaven there are no stupid dogs, no roots to gag us, no Ahlzeimers, no nursing homes and no puddles in the floor. Come, Lord Jesus, come!

Ha La La La De Day

Who of you reading this post felt the urge to hum when you read the title?

Only those of you who are U2 fans. It's a line from the song Running To Stand Still. Which, in case you wanted to know, is the 5th track on their cd The Joshua Tree.

I have loved U2 since junior high. Their music is lyrical and strong. And somehow timeless. It sounds just as good now as it did in 1987. Funny story: I was at the grocery store doing some much needed shopping. Unfortunately, the store had decided to send all its shoppers on a scavenger hunt. As I made my third cross-store trip for something that had been moved, I realized that the musac tune playing on the in-store radio was U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For". How appropriate. It made me laugh.

That's all. I just wanted to share.

P.S. Bono is highly overrated. Nobel prize?

Do This In Remembrance of Me

We had Communion in church yesterday. I love Communion.

Sunday mornings are always busy. I have four kids that must be picked up from their classes. I teach a class. And people always have things to talk to me about concerning Women's Ministry. I love all of it. I love my class and my church family. I love getting settled in our seats and looking around for new visitors to go meet. I love our music.

All of the different aspects of these things swirl around in my head as I sit there. Burt preached about deacons. About the fact that God has called all of us to serve. To live in connection with others. To give of ourselves and our time to serve others. One of the points that he made was that serving increases our faith because when we serve, we are in a deeper communion with Christ. We learn more of him through serving others because he came to serve. We are identifying ourselves with him.

As I sat and listened, I was pierced in my soul. I was cut to the quick over my pride. I know that I serve others, but is the intent of my serving to be more intimate with Jesus? Or is it to feel good? When is "serving" a natural talent and when is it an exercise of my faith?

Then it was time for communion. I felt overcome by my shallowness, my selfishness. I could hear Burt telling me to come to Christ's table and I sat there fighting to find Him. My sin felt like it was pushing me under, the water was murky. I tried concentrating really hard. "Picture the cross." .... "God where are you? I can't find you here."

Then the still small voice said, "Be still." And the image of being at the lake when I was a kid immediately came to mind. Stomping around in the water's edge, seeing the mud churn up and make the water thick and cloudy. Then I could picture myself in the water, swinging my arms around frantically trying to find the surface. Working. Striving. Struggling. Then the voice, "Be still."

In my mind and spirit and body, I took a deep breath and stopped... Breathe... Wait. The water clears if you quit churning up the bottom. And there He was. Like seeing the sun shining down on the surface of the water, he was there looking at me.

Like with Peter. Peter denied him three times, each more vehement than the last. And at the last, Jesus turned and looked at him. Then he went to the cross and died. Knowing that the only one brave enough to follow him at all had just denied knowing him. And yet... he still died.

Knowing all my sin, pride, shallowness, selfishness, he died. He told me, "Take this, my body, broken for you, eat. Take my blood, shed for your redemption, drink." And I ate. And drank. And received his mercy anew. I was fed. I was full. My sin no longer overwhelmed me, pulling me under, making the water murky. Suddenly, Christ was so much bigger than my sin. The burden of it fell away like dead weight. And I floated to the surface to bask in his light. Free. Loved. Cherished. Remembering.

Odds and Ends

Today, I saw a cloud that looked just like Spot the Puppy. You know that book series? Well, anyway, the cloud was shaped just like him.

Today was Kim's birthday. We all went out to the Dragon to eat. (The Dragon is the world's absolute best chinese eatery ever!) The boys then came home with Chris and I so that Kim and Scott could have a date. Ellas got a little upset at first cause he wanted his momma. Ty comforted him. The conversation went a little something like this:

Ellas: Why can't I go with her?

Ty: They're going on a date.

E: What are they gonna do, kiss?

T: Probably. You know they can do that cause they're married.

E: Yeah, I know. That's pretty gross.

T: They might even Indian kiss.

E: What's that?

T: That's where they open their mouths and touch tongues.

At this, there was much groaning and gagging noises. I was crackin up. I asked Ty where he'd heard that. He said from Maggie, but she's denying all. So for the rest of the day, Chris and I would wait for a captive audience and then he's ask me (or I'd ask him) if I wanted an Indian kiss. Of course I would say yes and we'd come at each other with really wide open mouths and our tongues hanging out. The kids would scream and hide their faces and beg for mercy. Chris and I had way too much fun grossing them out.

I randomly thought of a question.... if you get Rogaine on your face and hands when you're washing your hair, do you get really thick facial and knuckle hair?

I talked to Amber for a while tonight. I love cell phones. It was really nice to just hear her voice. It made me admire all those people who left home to settle the west. Some of them never saw or heard their families again. Wow, that's hard.

Why do land developers call themselves that? Cause their not. They build mass settlements and scalp the land. I hate it. I mean, I really hate it! It's so ugly and unnecessary. Why can't they just leave a few trees? And why are the houses so close together? Do you really want your next door neighbor to be able to hear you go to the bathroom or yell at your kids? Not me!

Last thing... Brody's new thing is to say "Oh Man!" It is absolutely the most comical thing I've seen in a long time. He'll cross his arms over his chest, drop his chin and whine "Oh Man!" Cracks me up.

Well, I'm going to bed now. And tomorrow, Kim and I are taking the kids camping at Stone Mountain. And the fun part is we're taking Terri too. Ha! She's so fru-fru. I can't wait. But I do admire her willingness to learn for the sake of David and the kids. I'll try to get a picture of it. It should be funny. She hates dirt, bugs and woods... all of which are there in abundance when you camp!

Good night!

Oh The Things We Can Think

Dr. Suess wrote a book with that title. But I'm thinking more along the lines of 'Oh the Things We Can Learn'. It's amazing the things that I learn when I'm preparing a lesson for my kids. This week we're studying the Byzantine Empire. Sounds a little dull at first but it's pretty interesting. Justinian was a cool guy.

Last week we studied monks and monasteries of Britian. The kids got to make quills out of wild turkey feathers... btw, thanks Bill. They used different things for ink: grape juice concentrate, ground hickory shells, etc.

Next week, we'll study the "Islamic Invasion" of around 700 AD which should raise some good theological questions from the kids.

Lots of learning going on in the Sharp home... most of it mine. ;o)

3 Kinds of People

In my opinion, there are 3 basic kinds of people.

The first kind are the people who notice if even one thing in their home is out of place and cannot sleep until it's put back in order. These people are called freaks.

The next kind are the people who don't even notice that things are growing in their refrigerator or bathtub and wouldn't care if they did notice. These people are called slobs.

The third and last kind are the people who notice things are out of place but don't have the compulsion to make it perfect. They have relatively clean homes that look lived in yet comfortable. Their toilets are cleaned once a week, the fridge is emptied once a month, and the floors are vacuumed when the dirt starts sticking to their socks. They want to be freaks but think of themselves as slobs.... these people are called normal.

Being Stubborn

We have a rental property. We've had it for a number of years and to be honest, it's a bit of a hassle. It's worth it but it can be a pain. We don't make any money off of it but it can be used to help people. We're about to rent it out again and have to redo the power service connection. When Chris tried to get under the trailer, we discovered boxes of junk had been stored under there. They've been there for who knows how long and are now infested with spiders and antbeds. AAHHHH!!! I have to get under there today while Chris is sleeping and clean it out so that the meter can be installed tomorrow.

In this situation, my attitude stinks. I know it and feel completely entitled to it. I mean, renters should have integrity. If they owe you money, they should pay. If they're supposed to clean it up when they move, they should clean. If they're supposed to empty the refrigerator, they should empty it - not let it sit there with no power to it for 2 weeks until I discover it on my own. Gross! People should keep their promises. Even if they don't feel like it.

As I sit here, I know I'm being stubborn. I know I'm being judgemental. I know, in my head, that I'm in sin. But it feels completely justified. So what do I do? Wallow a little more? Maybe. Forgive? I don't wanna.

How does one forgive anyway? I always thought it was this sort of condescending practice of letting someone off the hook. Or maybe even making excuses for them. That's always been my favorite. But I have come to realize that forgiving someone else has more to do with my sin that theirs. It's me forcing my eyes to be open to all my sins and admitting that I'm just as bad as the person who wronged me. Spiritually, it feels like Brody looks when I'm trying to give him antibiotics: mouth and eyes clenched shut, hands balled into fists, trying to get away. I know that my medicine(the gospel) is my only hope but I'd rather be sick than repent. Sad, isn't it?

To see my own sinfulness, makes the sin of others look pale in comparison. To see the great, great love of God towards me while I was still dead in my sins leads me straight to forgiveness. To forgive, gives me the freedom to clean up their mess without anger. Sure they're still wrong, they should have kept their word but that's between them and God. I can feel empathy for someone stuck in their sin. After all, that describes me most of the time.

Somethin Ain't Right

Are some kids just more aggressive by nature than others? Or is it some flaw in my parenting skills? Or is it both?

I sense a glaring blind spot in my life and no matter how hard I try to see it, I just can't. I pray and listen. I examine and compare. I feel it there, just out of sight.

Part of me wants to grab ahold of it and figure it out. The other part of me is afraid to know. Because, obviously, that discovery will show me my sin, insecurities, and failures. I don't like being embarassed. But I know I'm screwing up and not sure in what way.

I don't need advice or encouraging comments. I know God will show me in his time. And I know that he takes care of my kids no matter what I do. All this pressure I put on myself is unnecessary. Why do I still feel it then?

I guess I'm double-minded. I want to be perfect... for my own purposes. But at the same time,
I want to be holy... for the glory of God. I don't want my kids to have to overcome me in order to have a relationship with God. I want to show them the way to Christ. But come to think of it, the best way to do that is by showing them how the Gospel applies to my failures and successes.

So, at the end of my rambling, I see Christ. I see that this struggle is a part of my sanctification that he is in control of. I see him drawing my kids and I can't take credit for it. I feel encouraged and yet still fuzzy. He is here in the midst of my sin and confusion. He is here.

Homebody

People who know me think I'm a liar when I say that I'm a homebody. But I really am. I love being at home.

Kim is all the time talking me into going places. You see, I'm the extrovert and Kim's the introvert. But I like being at home and she likes keeping the roads hot. Whenever she talks me into a road trip, I end up doing all the talking and she just sits and watches me. Well, of course, that's not true... she does her share of talking. But I'm the dominant sister in public. At home's a different matter. But that's a whole other blog.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my lovely green armchair, reading my new Reader's Digest. Chris was busy with a project at the kitchen table, Brody was asleep, and the other kids were playing Legos. (They were trying to build Celtic warrior sets) Life was peaceful.

It was then I realized that the majority of our time spent at home is peaceful. The kids don't fight all that much... they have their moments but not lots. They enjoy each other for the most part. But when I take them out in public, all bets are off. They get bored and bickery.

As I sat there, it occurred to me that I like being at home because I can enjoy my kids when we're at home. Sometimes I like going places, but only when the urge is overwhelming or necessary. (I do not take my kids grocery shopping... we will eat grass and sticks first. They are panic attack-causing in a grocery store.) I like having people over to my house. That way I can enjoy my kids and my friends.

There are a few exceptions to this rule. Dad's, Kim's and Margaret's. The kids are used to being there and they have stuff to do. Kim Hill's is getting to be that way.


Side Note:
We ate at Boo and Evan's again last night. Much better this time. No spilled wax or near death experiences. I have to tell you, their cat is amazing. Brody played ball with it for thirty minutes. I'm not kidding. Brody would roll a golf ball to it, it would swat it around and then roll it back. Another game was Brody rolling the ball down the hall and the cat would reach it's paw under the office door and try to grab the ball. Brody would scream and laugh until he had the hiccups. Very funny!

That's the news from The Sharp Life. Night.

I'm Back

Well, I'm back. What a week. Very busy and demanding but oh so fun. Prepare for a long post.

Monday, I took the kids to my Mother's parent's house. My PawPaw has dementia and my Nanny has Alzheimer's. They are beginning to fade away. These are the grandparents who took us on summer vacations to Disney, Six Flags, Gatlinburg, Stone Mountain and Opryland. Now, they can't remember my kids names. The whole situation makes me recognize the futility of this life and then I hope for heaven.

Tuesday, we went on up to my Dad's mother. Granny is in her eighties and almost exactly as she was when I was a kid. She may be a bit slower but she's still just as mean. Well, not mean... just very opinionated. She cracks me up. She has a certain way of doing things and you just need to back up and let her do them. Kim and I call it her 'groove.' "Don't throw Granny off her groove!" She loves to laugh and the older I grow, the more I realize that I'm a lot like her. It makes me happy.

Wednesday, we headed back to Birmingham. I knew I wouldn't have time to go all the way home, so I went to Kim Hill's house. Brody took a nap while the other kids played outside. It was lovely! Isn't it funny how some friendships sorta sneak up on you? Our's is that way. At first glance, it doesn't look like we have much in common but wow, we're so much a like. Only she's much prettier. She is a faithful friend to me. God uses her to teach me a lot. Like fashion. She and I loaded all 7 kids up and went to Cato. It's a clothing store. She picked out the cutest top for me to buy to wear to the Day of Whimsy. I looked good. Thank you, Kim.

Wednesday night, we spent the night with Chris' grandmother as usual. It was fun. I get to watch cable at her house. Which means I stay up way too late watching HGTV.

Thursday and Friday were spent completely devoted to ironing out details for Saturday. Not tons but enough to keep me busy. Thursday night the place that donated our tables burned to the ground. So early Friday morning was spent getting more. No problem. Very simple. God worked out all the details. Friday night while setting everything up we discovered that the linen service had given us completely unsuitable tablecloths. So Kim and Terri made a mad dash for Sam's to buy some. God, again, worked out the details. We had fun and everything that could be done ahead of time, was done.

Saturday morning, Kayla (my jr. high friend/intern/slave) and I got up at 6:30 and went to the church to finish up and pray. Things got rolling at 9:00 and went really smoothly. God worked out the details. All the members jumped in and did what needed to be done. The visitors seemed to really enjoy themselves, the seminars went well and the luncheon was awesome. The food was yummy and plentiful. Way too much fruit salad though. Mrs. Barker had prepared a lecture but was moved to share her testimony instead. I've never heard a clearer or more compelling Gospel presentation in my life. God really used her words.

All in all, things went well. I didn't feel rushed or stressed. Let me take that back... my stress never became full-blown. ;o) It was amazing to see God use us. He used Kim Hill and Connie in the music and Leslie and Ingrid in the kitchen. And the list goes on and on.

God brought together over 100 women Saturday. And I learned something in a more concrete way... God is in the details.

So Sad and Blue

Well, not really sad and blue but a bit lonesome. Chris has been gone since lunch yesterday and I miss him terribly. He'll be home in about 3 hours but I'll probably be asleep by then. You'd think I'd be used to his being gone after 12 years of working like this. But I still hate it. I still hate being apart for that long.

That's all I wanted to say. And I'm not sure why I wanted to say it to all of cyberspace - but I did. Good night all.

Maggie's Joke

Maggie to our friend Boo: Knock Knock

Boo: Who's there?

Maggie: Boo

Boo: Boo who?

Maggie: Boo - you!

She and Boo found this highly entertaining.

Warning and Welcome

Okay, consider yourself warned. I won't be posting very much this week. I expect to be pretty busy. Remember that Women's Ministry event I talked about a while back? Well, it's next Saturday. It's gonna be really great. Not because of me but because of the amazing women God has placed on the leadership team. They have done sooooo much work. My job is to oversee. So this week will be my busiest. I have to make sure all aspects work together, plus I have to put together and print out programs for the day of.

If you live around here, please come. It's gonna be fun. Seriously.

Today, God gave me a glimpse of how he's sanctifing me. (Is that how you spell that?) I was talking with a friend and I think, simultanously (sorry, can't spell tonight) we realized that God had changed us. It was really neat. I totally see how sinful I am, sometimes it seems worse. I'm aware of my sin more now. But at the same time, I see him changing me. Making me holy. Very lovely experience.

I'm rereading 'Blue Like Jazz'. I really love that book. If you haven't read it, go... run, now. Go find one. It will make you think and God will get bigger. You know what I mean, he's already big but you'll realize it. For instance, on page 8 he says "For me, however, there was a mental wall between religion and God. I could walk around inside religion and never, on any sort of emotional level, understand that God was a person, an actual Being with thoughts and feelings and that sort of thing. To me, God was more of an idea." I know what he means. I can go days sometimes without really thinking about God. I can even read my Bible without thinking about him. I think about religious things or things I've learned about God, but that's not the same. He is real. He is here. He participates in my life, my thoughts. Think. Really think. Acknowledge. Say Hi. It's a start.

One more thing, I don't think I've mentioned this before but I've made two new friends, named Adam and Jessica. They just got engaged. Yeah!!! Anyway, Adam is possibly the most talented musician I've ever met. He can sing, write, perform, play lots of instruments. He's amazing. Wednesday night, I could hear him in Stokes' office, playing the piano. I stuck my head in to say Hi and he was standing with his side towards the piano not looking, playing one handed and carrying on a conversation while he played. That blows my mind. He's got a CD out and he better be working on another one. (That's me being intimidating, in case you missed it.) His web site is part of www.indiecommunity.com Look for his link - Adam Wright.

I'll try to post at some point this week. But if I don't, please don't hate me.

Alternative Uses For Everyday Foods

We hear a lot these days about food being used as fuel. Corn, water, and used cooking oil, things like that. But I have discovered some new uses for food, or rather, my kids have.

1. Grapes make perfect mini-hand grenades.

2. Grapes used as hand grenades also double as really squishy land mines.

3. Grits can strenghten the fibers of carpet when allowed to dry.

4. The chocolate from an ice cream sandwich can be used as a primitive paint. Not unlike cave paintings, only instead of caves, couches.

5. The remainder of a $6.00 bottle of imported olive oil, when mixed with water and glitter makes a great lava lamp.

6. Burned campfire marshmallows double for rubber cement when used, while still hot, to bond gravel to a wrought iron patio set.

7. Carrots, peanut butter and apples can be used to make modern art sculptures.

8. When used creatively, a tablespoon of Slim-Fast powder can completely cover a 3 foot section of countertop and the floor in front of it.

9. Certain drinks, when spilled and allowed to dry, could double as a glue trap for a mouse.

10. A sippy cup full of milk, if allowed to sit under a bed for a month, could be effectively used as a weapon in chemical warfare.

If you don't believe me, let my kids come spend a week with you. I'm sure my little scientists can come up with some more.

Stink

I have a confession. Tonight, while at the talent show at church, my deodorant completely failed me. I went to take my sweatshirt off and almost choked. It was just my left armpit, the right one didn't smell at all. But my right one sweats and my left one doesn't. Chris thinks it's my hormones. He thinks that because this is the longest I've gone without being pregnant or nursing in the past 11 years. I have no idea but it's very annoying.

I leaned over to my friend and apologized, explaining that I had taken a shower this morning and applied deodorant twice. I think I'll call Dr. Mac about it. Anyway, it got me to thinking. There's the obvious truth that this is just like my sin. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't cover up the cesspool of my flesh. It eeks out no matter how hard I try to hide it.

But then there's the more subtle thought. The way I felt, the annoyance, the embarrassment - it shows me again that I want to be perfect. Not in a godly way, but in the sense that I want people to see me and think I have it all together. Which, of course, I don't.

The whole situation was ridiculous. But I learned to trust God better. Because, who am I really? Am I defined by my phsical condition? Nope. Am I defined by my sin? Nuh-uh. I am beautiful and loved and righteous. And nothing on this earth can change that. What a relief.

My Day

I started this blog Thursday. Sorry it took so long to post.


I went back to the Oral Surgeon today for my post-op, pathology report. All good. Yeah! Relief.

While at lunch with my Dad at Jim N Nicks, I turned around to look for the waitress and my oral surgeon was sitting right behind me. Isn't that weird? I thought it was.

Kim and I bought groceries. We got to shop with no kids this time. Much faster.

Overall, a good day. Not real interesting but good none the less. Kim and I laughed soooo much. At one point, I lost my breath. It actually hurt. People might have thought we were on something. We missed you Angela. Your name was mentioned a couple of times. Cause you're our soul sister, you can make us laugh.

Anyway, hope your day was good too.

Hypocrisy

Henri Nouwen wrote these words in his journal:

" We who offer spiritual leadership often find ourselves not living what we are preaching or teaching. It is not easy avoiding hypocrisy completely because we find ourselves saying things larger than ourselves. I often call people to a life I am not fully able to live myself. I am learning that the best cure for hypocrisy is community. Hypocrisy is not so much the result of not living what I preach but much more of not confessing my inability to fully live up to my own words."

To me, this is profound. Avoiding hypocrisy entails being open and honest about my struggles. Not trying harder to keep up and cover up. Hmmm. Something to contemplate.

What's Worse Than...

What's worse than a trip to the DMV? Taking 4 kids under the age of 10 with you.

What's worse than a trip to the DMV with 4 kids under the age of 10? Waiting for 30 minutes and then being told that the 'system' is down and I'll have to come back another day.

AAGGHHHH!!!!!!

Sermon Thoughts Vol. 1

I am blessed to hear the best sermons every week. I like to take notes on the sermon outlines we get. I keep them in a drawer at my house and look over them occassionally. It's a good devotional. If you have the opportunity to do the same, I encourage you to do it.

I have a few favorites that I pull out and read semi-regularly. One of them is from way back. It's accompanied by a good story too. I was in the midst of serious conflict, my first as an adult. The year was 1996 around Christmas. As any of you that know me can attest, I hate conflict. And there I was, up to my neck in it. I got to church late and met up with my good friend, Hope, in the parking lot. She could tell I'd been crying and we had a short conversation about what was going on. Then I sat through the singing feeling unsure of myself and really just torn up inside. Guess what the sermon was about? Peace. Burt preached straight to my heart. My notes quote him as saying, "True peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of Christ." And I realized that what I was comfortable with was 'absence of conflict' not a concrete reality of Christ's presence. In that moment, my faith was strengthened and I knew what was required of me. It was a huge, life changing moment. And God used Burt to teach it to me. Have I ever said 'Thank you' to you Burt? I should have. I'll say it now - Thanks for teaching what you learn and speaking truth to us every week. It is appreciated.

I have many more sermons that were specifically meaningful. I'll share more later. It's good for me to read them and learn anew. Plus, I hope you like them.

In this picture, I'd just gotten off the lift. That's Maggie just left off center in the white and purple. If you look just to the right of the evergreens in the very center of the frame, you can see our hotel. It's more of a cream colored blob. ;o) 

This is Kim on the blue lift. Maggie and I were on the seat ahead of her. The three of us skied together most of the time. 

A Lovely Trip

As you can see from the pictures above, we had lots of snow. It was in the low 40's, so it wasn't that cold either. We skiied all day Tuesday and Wednesday. Maggie and Ty were in ski school the first day and then spent the second skiing with Chris and I. Maggie skis like me and Ty is more like Chris, only more fearless. No joke.

Our friends Boo and Evan came with us which was too fun. Kim and Scott came up the day after we did. Evan learned how to ski in about 15 minutes - big turkey. He's really good too. Makes me sick.

Maggie can ski better than me now. And Ty is even better than her. He comes down the black diamonds in a tuck. He knows how to cut back and forth but he says that he can't go fast enough when he does that. So, he just points his skis straight and goes wide open. Next year he must wear a helmet. He scares me.

I executed my one spectacular, required fall. It was, as usual, gorgeous. I was coming down the, to my mind, most insanely steep slope ever. I didn't want to but if I wanted to ski Oz it was the only way down. So down I went - literally. So as to not disappoint my fans, I made sure that I fell in the midst of the most people possible. Everyone had a chance to see and comment. Just as planned. And right on schedule.

The boys had a massive snowball battle. By 'boys' I mean Ty, Bren, Chris and Evan. Brody enjoyed wandering back and forth in the line of fire. He reminded me of a duck in the carnival shooting games. The boys had strategies, berms, forts, shields, and endless amounts of ammunition. The battle lasted almost an hour. At the end of it, everyone was soaking wet and frozen. They came in, took showers and ate some Beef Skillet Fiesta. The perfect end to the perfect day.

Needless to say, the trip was fun, adventurous, beautiful, and maybe a little crazy. No one fought or broke anything. We all laughed and joked. I was very grateful. And after two solid days of being on skis, a bit sore. I'll post more pictures when I get them developed.

Getting Ready For Vacation

As much as I love taking vacations, I hate getting ready for them. I mean, first of all there's all the pressure of packing. If it was just my clothes, it wouldn't be so bad. But I have to make sure that 6 people have everything they're going to need without going overboard. I don't want to have to buy stuff when we get there but I don't want to be so crowded in the van that we can't move. And toy selection is crucial. Just enough of just the right toys that will keep them content for a 7 hour trip. But then again, that's not really possible.

Then there's the 'clean house standard'. You know what I'm talkin' about. My house must be clean. I'm serious. I do not want to be plagued on my trip with the knowledge that my house is a mess. then I know that I have to work the day I get home. No thank you. Add to this the sad fact that, due to my recent surgery and sickness, my house had not been really cleaned in almost 2 weeks. Ugh.

The problem is that I have to do all this meticulous planning and detailed cleaning with 4 freakin' kids up my rear. If I clean the kitchen, in fifteen minutes it's dirty again. Case in point: yesterday, I finally got Brody calm and Maggie cleaning. Ty I had just given up on. My sweet compliant child was possessed, so I sent him to his bed. I made Gracie go ahead and get in the shower. She enjoys it and it keeps her occupied for a while. I was finally making progress on the kitchen when Maggie ran in the room to inform me that the bathroom was flooded. Apparently the plastic shower liner was on the outside of the tub. She had been in the tub for almost 10 minutes, so there was a good 4 gallons of water in the floor. Needless to say, that was a thirty minute detour. That was typical of yesterday.

So now, here I sit afraid to move or my house will get messy. Obsessed with the fear that I've forgotten some vital something for the trip. House clean? check. Diapers? check. Snacks? check. List? completed. I think I'm ready.

Patrick asked me one time why it was that people think that life will be magically different on vacation. Same kids. Same parents. Why do we expect a different response? I'm sure you can all think of different reasons. I think that, for me, it's that we plan trips that we can afford so that we don't have to say 'No' all the time. Isn't that what all kids want? To get what they want. But in my experience, it just makes them greedier.

My somewhat rambling point being: I have to enjoy every moment as if it's the best moment I'll ever have. Because who knows? Maybe it is. And every moment is something straight from the heart of God. Ask my Dad. The darkest, most painful moments in life hold beautiful things. So, I guess I need a chill pill. And be like the Expedia commercials, enjoy the getting ready. And thank God that we get a snow skiing trip in the midst of the 'non-month'.

So, if you want, go to www.skibeech.com this Tuesday or Wednesday and click on "live web cam". You might just see me skidding wildly down the slopes.

The Fall of Man

Yesterday, I felt awful. I had a terrible headache. In my stubborn way, I pushed through it and kept busy. I visited a friend, went to the store, and took the kids to a birthday party for their cousin. We got home at bedtime, just in time to wake Chris up for work. I kept feeling worse and worse. Got Chris off to work and the kids in bed and lay in the bed trying to read a little to relax. As I lay there, a thought occured to me. "This feeling is familiar. Why? What is this feeling exactly?" I thought. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm gonna throw up. This feeling is my body getting ready for it.

Now I don't know about you but I hate to throw up. I fight it for as long as I can. But my stomach was hurting not just nauseous. I couldn't get comfortable. Finally at 3:30, I was ready. And I finally fell asleep around 6:00.

Later in the day, Maggie and Gracie started complaining of stomach pain. As Grace was crying from the pain, she looked up at me and asked, "Momma, why do we have to be sick?" As I looked at her sweet little face contorted in pain, I would have given anything to be able to take it away. All I could say was, "It's because of something called the fall of man. When sin came into the world so did sickness. I wish it wasn't so but it is. And just think.... in heaven everything will be perfect, just like God wants it to be. We won't ever get sick there." I wanted her to understand the difference between there here and now and the soon.

She looked up at me and said, "When can we go there? I wish we were there now." Amen. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Here's our first formal studio pic in many years. We had it made for our pictoral directory at church. Doesn't Chris look handsome? *wink* 

A Little Part To A Big Whole

I watched a special on PBS the other day. You should know that I am addicted to PBS. It's the poor-man's cable. I can watch Brit-coms, forensics shows, mysteries, how-to's, just about anything you can get on cable. And it's free. Can I hear an 'Amen'? Anyways....

The special was about how scientists are working on bringing sight to the blind. One lady who had been blind for years had this belt of equipment with a pair of souped up sunglasses and could begin to see dots of light. Another scientist is working on this little chip with needles sticking out of it that is implanted into the eyeball and basically acts as artificial neurons. You know that toy you can get that has all the nail type things and when you hold it up to your face it makes the shape of it? This device looks like a teeny tiny one of those. Amazing!

The interviewer was asking the man how long before they could test on humans. The scientist said that as a scientist, you have to look at things with a broader view. You have to know that "your life's work may not be fulfilled in your lifetime." That the project he had dedicated his entire life to, would probably not be accomplished in his lifetime. He understood that some things just take a long time.

It reminds me of Copernicus, Kepler and Newton. None of them could have accomplished what they did if they had had to start from scratch. Newton relied heavily upon Kepler's work.

Now as someone who is totally into instant gratification, I find this very convicting. I mean, I don't even cook food that takes longer than thirty minutes to prepare! Chris once told me, in a rather exasperated voice, that I was the most impatient person he had ever met. At the time I was taken aback. Now I can own up to that sin. I am. "Hello. My name is Crissy and I am very impatient. "

Have I ever really understood that I am in the midst of God's master plan? My life is a small part to a very big whole. Something that God started in my great Grandmother may just be accomplished in my lifetime. Something that God starts in my life may not be accomplished until Maggie's grandchildren. Or the next century. Who knows? Am I willing to humble myself enough to enjoy that? What blessings are to be found in knowing that the Master of the ultimate master plan knows my name, my pain, my joy. He knows me intimately. He gives my life meaning in the midst of the universal issues at hand.

In a way, I resist the idea of being small. I remember someone asking my Granddad once why, as a successful business man, he never moved to a bigger city. His response? "I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond. If I moved, I'd just be a small fish in a big pond." Sad to say, but I can identify with that. I think there's something in all of us (pride) that longs to be big and important. And we'll take that validation in whatever form we can. Isn't that the origin of an idol?

I guess the secret of knowing God is being content to be small compared to his greatness. As John the Baptist said, "He must become greater; I must become less." "Only then will I be able to not live in competition with him.

Bored

I'm soooooo bored! My mouth still hurts enough that I have to take pain pills. They make me a little confused. I don't want to go anywhere, but I don't want to stay at home either. I'm sleepy but also tired of sleeping. Reading is hard because of the drug induced confusion. I've seen all the movies I own and have no way of getting more. Plus, it's Saturday so there's nothing on tv. Add to all that my swollen face and you get my situation. Ahhhh, I feel better now that I've gotten all that whine off my chest. ;o)

I got to thinking this morning: How would my situation be different if I'd been born a century ago? I guess I probably would be destined to die. Just think about it. The infection had already eaten through part of my jaw bone. Given time, would it have spread to my bloodstream or my brain? Or would I have just lost all my teeth and my lower jaw? Weird to think about.

It's so quiet here. I'm all by myself. I've been told that I'm not allowed to do any work. I'm not supposed to fold laundry or empty the dishwasher. Instead of feeling guilty about that, I think I'll choose to enjoy it. How shall I do that? Hmmmm. I think I'll go take a nap. Night!

Surgery Update

Just thought if Jawan can update her blog in the hospital, I can update mine the day of surgery. Because Jawan is of course my role model. ;o)

I went in this morning at 9am for my oral surgery. The surgery took about an hour. Dr. O'Neill said that there was more bone loss that he had expected and wanted. The bone loss in my jaw was all the way up to the gum line and had also spread to the back tooth beside it. He had to do a couple of more things than he expected in addition to filling in the hole with bone chips. There's still a risk that I could lose the teeth anyway.

I have six stitches in the left side of my mouth just below my teeth. It hurts but not horribly. I can't open my mouth hardly at all so talking, laughing and eating are a struggle. (keep all comments to yourselves please!) One of my stitches is poking my cheek. Very annoying.

Laura Leigh brought us supper tonight. She was so thoughtful. She cooked a creamy chicken casserole with egg noodles in it and gooey brownies. If I cut the noodles into small pieces I could eat it and the brownies are just as good smushed. Thank you Laura!

Thank you also to my Secret Pal. I loved my gift. She gave me a beautiful teacup and saucer, tea and a great magazine. With a card that read "Get well soon." Thank you for thinking of me.

Well, my jaw is starting to swell and hurt because I can't keep an ice pack on it and type at the same time. It's hard enough to just think and type at the same time. Thanks for checking my blog. And thank you for your prayers. Night!

Nothings

Lortab makes me itch. Now my tooth hurts and I look like I have fleas. I can't quit scratching.

Brody openly defied me today for the first time. He found a piece of gum on the floor in the living room. I told him no but by the time I could run in there he had ripped the wrapper off, tore the gum in half and was trying to shove half in his mouth when I grabbed him. He was highly offended that I wouldn't let him keep it.

My church is getting a lot of young couples in it. They look at me as if I'm some mature woman since I've got 4 kids. Ha! If they only knew that I walk around clueless half the time they wouldn't say that. It's weird how new people perceive me. Everyone else just thinks I'm goofy.

Because I can't chew, I'm living off of soup, Slim-Fast, yogurt and cranberry sauce. Ya know, things I can strain between my teeth and then swallow. It's getting old.

I'm ready for bed. Good night.

Guess What?

My charmed life gets better and better. My tooth that I had the root canal in, not the one I'm having surgery on, is abcessed! It hurts like 'you know what'. Please pray that the antibiotics the doctor called in will work quickly. I'm strugglin'.

Get Off My Back

I know, I know.... it's been a really long time since my last post. I've been really overwhelmed. Life has snuck up and bit me in the butt, again.

I've been busy planning out a new nine week unit study for school. Very time consuming. It's been fun though. The Middle Ages, woo-hoo. I've got the lesson plans done, still working on the tests and worksheets.

In the past six days, two kids have been to the ENT, all six of us have been to the dentist for cleanings, I've had a root canal and a consultation with an oral surgeon. Good news - only Maggie had cavities (just 1), Ty and Brody are better now (they're on antibiotics for sinus infections). Bad news- the root canal couldn't be finished because it kept bleeding so now it's sensitive and Dr. Koplon found a large 'lesion' in my jaw. Come to find out, it's (more than likely) a very large abcess from a dead nerve. The problem is that it's sooooo big. It's never a good sign when your doctor looks at your x-ray and says "Whoa! What's that?!?!?" For a few days Chris and I were dealing with the possibility that it could be a tumor. Needless to say, I was in a quiet mood for a while. I wasn't scared really, just quiet. Long story short, I'm having a root canal on Tuesday and oral surgery next Thursday. Dr. O'Neill will clean out the cyst and fill in the gaping hole with bone chips. Sounds like fun to me!

Seriously though... as Leslie said today "You've had a lot of health type issues lately. Haven't you?" I guess I have and I get really, really tired of it. I don't like pain and being away from my children. I don't like spending money on things I can't enjoy. I don't like not being able to take care of my family. And as I type this I am reminded that wait... it's not all about me. For some reason, I can't truly grasp that concept.

I want to be comfortable and God wants me to be holy. And in these moments of dread and fear, He reminds me that He is always here. I want to be tough and people tell me that I am. But I don't feel tough and full of faith because I feel like crying. But I think that's what real faith looks like. Real faith is experiencing my pain and fear, crying and knowing, really knowing that He has a plan. I don't understand it and I wish He could make me holy without pain but He is God. He knows all the things that I don't.

Plus, He takes care of me. He doesn't give me a task and then tell me to get on with it. He lavishes His love and grace on me. His Spirit provides me with all I need. He surrounds me with His children. I cannot possibly take the time to type the names of all my friends that will be there with me. To care for my kids, bring me food, help me clean, listen to me whine, pray for me and with me, and love me.

Life is a journey and I cannot wait for the destination! My heartfelt prayer is that there will be no teeth in heaven.

Dr. Kim

Dr. Kim Schmitt is our lovely friend. God has used her skill and knowledge to keep Brody, Ty and Gracie healthy these past few years. She always has a smile and love for my kids. And in return, they love her more than any other doctor in the world. (Our dentist, Dr. Koplon is a close second) Whenever I tell them that it's time for a doctor visit, they cry if it's not to Dr. Kim. Seriously, they do.

Ty had to have allergy shots for a couple of years. You would think that he would hate the doctor's office. He doesn't. They brag on him and encourage him. They give him treats and hugs. So an otherwise traumatic experience has been an overwhelmingly positive one for him.

Poor Brody has had the most awful time with ear infections. She put tubes in, but his ears would push them out after a couple of months. She ended up putting in something similar to a 't-tube'. These new ones won't come out on their own. After horrible recurring infections for the first year and a half of his life, he's been healthy now for a year. Colds - yes. Ear infections - nope.

Gracie and Maggie haven't had to visit her often as a patient but they love going. Her office has a really cool play room and super sweet staff. Dr. Kim is also the one who discovered Chris' Dad's throat cancer at a really early stage. She probably saved his life.

I asked Ty why he loves her. His reply? "Because she takes care of me." Simple as that.

It's really cool to me how God puts just the right people in our lives at just the right times. Once again, He proves himself trustworthy.

Being Real

I think that everyone is fake at some point or another. I'm sure there are people who are always fake. But even those of us who try not to be fake can't help it sometimes.

I was talking to some friends the other day, at different times, about this. Why is it that when we're going through a dark place we hide it? We put on a smile and laugh. I do it sometimes. Almost a year ago I went through a darkness. Life seemed overwhelming and tedious. But I tried really hard to act like nothing was different. Why?

Well, I think there are several reasons. To begin with, I try to maintain my reputation. People tell me I'm friendly and outgoing. Because of that, I feel the need to live up to that... to not disappoint anyone. Which is kinda stupid when I think about it. Not to mention, sinful. I'm depending on my reputation instead of resting in my position as a daughter of the covenant.

Another reason I'm tempted to be fake is the feelings that occur in those dark places are scary and deep. To not feel happy or contented or peaceful is weird and uncomfortable. I don't like it and don't want other people to look at me funny. I want to hide. I want to pretend. But when I do that, I reject the grace of God. I try to take care of the problems myself. Quite simply, I'm not trusting God.

Being real means that if I'm unhappy, when someone says "How are you?" I can honestly say, "I'm struggling today." I don't have to unload on them, telling them all my deepest sorrows but I can ask them to pray for me.

And when I do that, the next time that person is having a hard time they'll be more likely to ask me to pray for them. I will have humbled myself and that makes it a little easier to ask God for help. Burt preached a sermon last year that has helped me a lot. The title was Remembering Wilderness and Surviving Wealth. In the dark places, I seek Him. Nothing makes sense anymore, He is all I have. But when life is peachy, I get into a routine and don't seek Him out anymore.

The dark places are really blessings in disguise. God uses them to show me who I really am and what trusting Him looks like. Romans 5:3-5 says "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I can taste of him in a deeper way in the wilderness because I'm hungrier. Needier. Weaker. And he meets me there and supplies all my needs. HE becomes my peace.

Alternative to Wal-Mart

A lot of people ask me how I can manage to not shop at Wal-Mart. "How can you afford shopping anywhere else?" or my favorite, "But it's so much faster to get everything in one place."

Propoganda! That's all that is. People have bought into the advertising that Wal-Mart is cheaper and more convenient. Poppycock!

I buy groceries, dog food, diapers, pull-ups, household items, everything for a family of 6 for around $400 a month. You can, most of the time, find what you need on sale at other stores for the same price or cheaper than WM. You just have to be committed. Look at the sale papers.

"Why don't you just take your sale papers to WM. They'll honor them."

Not neccessarily. They don't honor Buy One Get One Free or percentages. And many times, if you get tons of items that way, they bring in the CSM to hand check each item. Not very convenient.

As to the "convenience" issue.... how many times have you gone to WM only to find they don't have what you need? And you still have to go to another store or settle for something else. Not to mention the fact that the store is soooooo big that it takes forever to get from one place to another.

Then there's the check-out problems. They never have adequate numbers of check-outs open. I have to wait at least ten minutes in a line before I start checking out. (Do not even get me started on the 'self-ckeckouts'!)

Today, I bought all my groceries at Publix. A produce manager offered to help me pick out the best bag of grapes. The butcher ground a fresh pack of ground chuck in a family pack for me, at the sale price. The cashier helped me unload my buggy. The bag boy had me pull up to the front of the store and sit in my van while he loaded my groceries for me in the rain! How much did I spend? Well, for a receipt that is literally 28 inches long, I spent less than $200.00. I bought food for two weeks, dog food, bird seed, laundry stuff, toilet paper, paper towels, snack foods, sodas, etc. I might could have done even better if I had gone to Winn-Dixie and Food World but it was raining cats and dogs and I couldn't stand the thoughts of it!

Publix's slogan is "Where shopping is a pleasure." Today I would have to agree with them.

Sound

My kids are studying sound in school. Sound waves, frequency, etc. Ty, who is reading a A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, surmised that there are lots of sounds that would be really unfamiliar to King Arthur. Maggie realized that most of these noises are so familiar to us that we don't even hear them anymore.

So for school, they had to make a list of a.) loud sounds, b.) soft sounds, and c.) sounds we don't even hear anymore. Here are my sounds that I don't even hear anymore.

1. Anytime Chris starts talking about shoes.

2. Gracie's whining.... I put her on ignore.

3. Kim giving me pertinent information... don't ask me why.

4. Silence... but that's just because my kids are so loud.

5. The buzzer on the dryer, and I have it up really loud!

6. Curse words in movies. I don't even register them.

7. My Mother's voice in my head. (Is that good or bad?)

8. Chris' alarm that goes off at 4:oo am when he has to go to work in Anniston. And it's on my side of the bed!

9. My kids talking to me when I'm working at the computer. That is, until the questioning is soooo repetititve that it breaks through my sound barrier.

10. Wiggles movies. I don't realize I'm hearing it until I start singing all the songs. Very annoying!

Maybe later I'll make a list of all the sounds that I wish I didn't hear.

Sleep

I am sooooo sleepy right now. If I could I would climb in the bed and sleep until tomorrow. I slept fine last night. I don't know what my problem is.

Since I can't sleep, I better get busy. Lord knows I have plenty to do. Maybe this is brain melt from homeschooling today.

Stupidity

Some may call it stupidity. Others may call it selfishness. I call it thoughtlessness. It is what plagues me. It is that deep down character flaw that causes the ones I love pain.

Sometimes my mouth overides my butt. I say things that are callus or arrogant. I do things that hurt others. Plain and simple, I just don't think.

Last night, I did something that stirred up fear and bad memories for my friend. And if I had just stopped and thought I would have realized it before it was too late. But I didn't and now she feels all sorts of conflicting emotions and convictions.

It reminds me of something that happened to me after my Mom died. For those of you that don't know, my Mother was a self-medicating bi-polar. She was into other things too. My sister and I realized that things were out of control. Kim contacted Mother's doctor, who wouldn't return her calls. Kim called an attorney, who said that we had to have a doctor. It was horrible. There Mother sat in misery, insanity and filth and the only people who cared could do nothing about it.

Anyways.... after she died, we had to clean out her rental house. The most traumatic thing for me were the gnats. There were literally thousands of them. We wore masks to keep them out of our mouth and nose. It was awful. About two months later, I opened my pantry and out flew a gnat. One gnat. Just one. My mind knew there was only one but my heart freaked out. I started shaking and crying and hitting myself in the head. Chris ran into the room and grabbed me. All I could say was "No. No. I can't be like her. No. No....." It took me a few minutes to get myself under control. And even longer to really release that to Christ. But where my Mom's sin abounded, His grace abounded all the more.

So for my thoughtlessness to trigger emotions even remotely like that causes me deep pain. I ask myself, when will I ever learn? I don't know. I hope soon. I pray that Christ will come back today. He is my only hope.

Prayer Please

I hope all who read this will pray for me. I am in charge of planning a Women's Ministry Event. Not a meeting or a coffee. An event. As in decorating, childcare, speaker, food, seminars, etc.

Internal thought* me no can do this... me too stupid... plague, pestilence, danger, danger.

I can try to convince myself that I can do this, or I can lean completely upon my Savior. In this I am weak, but I am boldly stating that He is strong. Please pray that I will trust him. He is enough. He can do this.



BTW, off topic, it's 74 degrees here. All my windows are open and the fans are on. Lovely! Of course we'll probably have tornadoes tomorrow. ;o)

New Favorite CD

Just a quick note to share my new favorite CD. I've played it way to many times. If I don't slow down, I'm gonna get sick of it.

It's Ethereal, titled Tending Both Sides. You can find it at www.etherealband.com

Happy New Year

Well, the party was fun! We only had 63 instead of 66. Skye was sick and Eric and Pat stayed home with her. So, pretty much everyone we expected to come came. We had hoped the Boykins would be able to come but no such luck. Everyone missed them.

We had plenty of food. A party without food is unacceptable. We never ran out of anything. Afterward, Terri and I agreed that we must be getting better at party planning. We were all thankful for the beautiful weather. Evan built a wonderful bonfire. Thank you Evan and David. The kids played outside and got along well. The adults mingled and talked and ate and drank.

A lot of people dressed up from their favorite time period. I was a hippie, Kim was a fifties housewife, Terri was '80's, Boo was 70's. But the winners were Jon Carter, who was a 70's Bible salesman, and Melissa Epperson who was totally 80's. Here's a picture. I hate the quality of these pictures but Kim forgot her digital camera and I had no film for my camera. So once again I was stuck using my phone. I really wish the picture was better.


Jon's wife Betty was a very close second to Missy. Betty had on a red wig and black and leopard print dress from the 60's. I can't tell everyone's costume but believe me, they were all good.



Speaking of Betty's wig. Here's Laura wearing it. (Once again, bad picture quality. Sorry.) Laura was crackin me up. You should have seen Steve in it! He was hysterical.

We listened to music too. Dean Martin, Stevie Nicks, The Black Crowes, The Eagles, The Beatles, a 70's compilation and the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. We tried to cover as many eras as possible. Oh and don't forget the BeeGee's, but that was after most people had already left.

There was lots of dancing and silliness. My new friends Connie and Boo got to meet my best friend Amber. And come to find out they knew a lot of the same people. Cool. There were more people that I would have liked to invite but my house is just not big enough.

I hope all who came had fun. I know I sure did.

This is Molly. She is my slightly retarded, hippo dog. Amber called her a slug. She is sooo loving though. She loves to be petted and talked to. She smiles too. She also lays around the yard looking just like Snoopy: on her back, head bent back, ears flopped out. Funny, goofy dog! 

It's Out Of Control

Okay. Here's the deal. Last year Kim and I threw a New Year's Eve Party. We invited ten families. Three people showed up. Not three families - three people! Needless to say, we were sorely disappointed.

So this year, we invited twenty families and sent out the invitations a week early to increase our chances. Long story made short, we have twenty-two families coming. Yes, you read correctly. We have more people coming than we invited. How? Word of mouth. Head count? 37 adults and 29 children. Thank goodness I have a 5,000 square foot home. Oh, wait! I don't!!!

Truly, I am not upset. A little freaked out maybe. A little afraid that people aren't going to enjoy themselves. But ya know? Now that I think about it... it's wonderful. We have had people call to say, "I knew you wouldn't mind, so I invited the ---." And other people call and ask if they could come. Wow! I love that. I love that people feel comfortable enough to do that. Because I really don't mind.

I love when people come over. My house is not perfect or even clean, but it is a home. "It looks lived in.", my best friend Amber says. Not too many years ago that would have made me feel insecure and inadequate. I took comments like that as a veiled insult. Today, it feels like what it is - a testament to the grace of God. I used to think that my house, my kids, my abilities - in other words, the things I did- were what brought glory to God. Now I realize that it's the Holy Spirit in me that brings glory to God. God doesn't care about my couch or my kitchen sink. He wants my heart. My motivations. It's hard to explain.

So now I say... Bring it on!!! Come on over. Roast marshmallows over the bonfire, listen to the music, eat lots of food, talk and laugh. I am priviledged that you can do all those things at my home. All 66 of you.

Random Thoughts Concerning Food

Today, I have just picked a topic out of the air. Now I will note all of my brilliant thoughts on the subject. Hang on tight, this could get messy.

1. Starbucks' Caramel Macchiato (can't spell it correctly) is my favorite coffee-type drink of all time.

2. Homemade tacos are so much better than anything you can buy. Why bother with Taco Bell?

3. Frozen green beans are ALWAYS nasty. No matter how you cook them.

4. Chris has eaten fish eyeballs in the jungles of Peru, but he will not eat mushrooms. Under any circumstances.

5. Terri's spagetti sauce and homemade icing are to die for. Not together of course. That would be nasty.

6. I don't understand people who have the desire to cook something that takes longer than thirty minutes to prepare. After 30 minutes, it's just not worth the effort.

7. I also don't understand people who pay $100 for a meal. It's just going to come out the other in end in a few hours.

8. It seems wrong somehow to cook Hamburger Helper in a $200 Calphalon pan.

9. If there is ever a shortage of concrete, we could just use day old grits. They harden to about the same degree.

10. French food. One question... Why? bleck!

11. As anyone who knows me personally can attest, I cannot eat meat off the bone. It makes me gag. I think it stems from a deeply disturbing event from my childhood. My Great Grandfather took me into the yard with him when he chopped a chicken's head off. It ran around for several minutes with blood spurting out of it's neck. I've never eaten chicken on the bone since.

12. As a senior in high school, I was required to read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. I've not eaten sausage since.

13. I have a really bad habit of buying bananas and forgetting about them. They stay on top of the refrigerator until they're black and shriveled. Kim says that I mummify them. My Dad-in-law came over one day and asked "How long until you think they're finally ripe?" HaHa Very funny.

14. I go a little crazy when planning the food for a party. I end up with way too much. A web site that I read said that for a small gathering, you should serve 2 salty and 2 sweet. Huh? What is that? In my opinion, 4 or maybe even 5 of each. Is that overboard you think?

So there. Completely unimportant and unrelated information. This is probably the most useless post I've ever written. (G, no comments. I can hear them swirlin' around.)

A Word About Pastor G

I have a confession to make. Steve Morgan (aka Pastor G) makes me laugh so hard. I know he's reading this but I have to admit it. He is one of the funniest people I know. Sometimes he's mean and cruel. Often he has a weird smell about him... okay not really, I made the smell thing up. But he can be mean only in a really funny way.

He has done studies on delegation and still has no earthly idea what it means. He procrastinates, which drives the people around him nuts. He is slightly compulsive and a little high-strung. But overall, he's a trip. He preaches some really great sermons. Even Chris can stay awake for them. ;o) He does have his "preacher voice" though. I think he thinks it makes him sound smarter.

He married way out of his league, to Laura. And strangely, she thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Oh well, to each his own.

But seriously, I remember when he never even came to church and now he's our assistant (or is it associate?) pastor. Amazing what the love of Christ can do. He's really smart. A great conversationalist. And a good friend. Steve, I'll say it once and never again, I'm glad you're on staff.

And if you'd ever write your first post, I'll honor you with a link on my page.

Which reminds me.... Leslie, Laura, Amber, Kim and Terri - you have one week to post or I remove your link. Ahhhh, I love power!

Clarity

Have you ever had to go somewhere, into a situation, that made you so uncomfortable that you went a little crazy? Some of you really confident people, like my husband, will have no idea what I'm talking about. Read on and learn.

Sometime in the recent past (that's all the info you need), I was required to go into just such a situation. In retrospect, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it would be. I have a very healthy imagination. But, anyway, like I was saying, I was required to go be with people that make me really uncomfortable. They say they like me but when I'm with them, they ignore me completely. And if they're not ignoring me, they're making comments that... well, we won't go there. Suffice it to say, whenever I'm around them I feel like a dorky idiot that has nothing to say that's worth listening to. I don't like feeling that way. Which is why I avoid these people.

So what have we learned so far? I'm insecure, cowardly and avoid confrontation like the plague.

The day of this intended meeting I was a basketcase. I will try to explain it more coherently. When I am with my friends, I am completely myself. I laugh, tell jokes, interact, listen fairly well, and hopefully make people comfortable. I don't mind talking to strangers. My Mother used to say I could talk to a stump if I could get it to stand still. I am usually relaxed. But put me in this particular situation and I lose myself completely. I know that I am expected to be a certain person but I'm not that person anymore. I feel like a square peg being forced into a round hole. And because I want to please people, I try really hard to be who they want me to be. So, in short, my natural instinct tells me to change who I am to please someone else. But the strong inner self tells me to forget them and their opinions and just be me.

Problem one, my inner self is a very relational person. I can't interact with people who ignore me. Problem two, I want all people to like me. I want to change myself into someone they'll like. Problem three, it can't be done. I spent the day feeling like a prisoner of war in my own body. I was "conflicted". I was making myself crazy trying to figure out how to be me and not care what others think.

My sweet, beautiful husband put it all in perspective for me. He said "Just remember, God says you're beautiful and so do I. And that's all that really counts."

That completely changed the whole situation. I realized that I was so wrapped up in me that I had forgotten Christ. I had lost all spiritual perspective. It was all about me. It was all about how they make me feel and how should I respond and how I didn't want to be hurt. I had to ask myself the big, real questions. Who am I? The daughter of the Most High. What am I? completely loved, completely forgiven and completely righteous. What else matters? Nothing.

That is where my confidence lies. That is where my sense of self comes from. I am beautiful because God says I am. No one elses opinion of me has any value. And armed with that reality, I experienced a moment of clarity. I walked into the situation with love and peace. I had fun. I saw them with the eyes of Christ. I felt bad for them when I saw their striving for acceptance based on possesions. I spoke with confidence and hopefully, without defensiveness.

When I left, my head didn't hurt. I never felt like crying. And I was humbled by how completely and utterly I had forgotten the Cross. One of my favorite verses of Scripture is in 2 Timothy 2:13. It says " If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." He was faithful to me when I had forgotten him. He loves me with a love I cannot even imagine. He doesn't grow disgusted with my strivings. He meets me in that place and whispers my name. And when I finally hear him, my spirit grows quiet and relaxed in the presence of such love. Oh for more moments of clarity like that.

Too Much Food!

Aahhh!!!! I had lost five pounds and I think I gained every pound back today. Ugh. I feel sick. I did great at breakfast. Only a very small amount and healthy stuff at that. But lunch... it was an ugly sight. They had corn casserole, green bean casserole, hashbrown casserole, dressing, brownies, yams... I ate way too much. I tore into it like a monkey on a cupcake. Now I have to repent and walk two miles tomorrow. Why do I do that? I mean, I feel gross and disgusting. I mean, do I even have self-control?

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!

Music

What is it about music that is so involving? Music has the ability to reach the very deepest parts of who I am. If the music is sad, I 'm depressed for days. If it is happy, I smile for days. If it is uplifting, I worship for days. Music can make me cry and laugh and feel.

I hate to cry. I fight it as hard as I can. Not knowingly, but somewhere inside me, I fight it. Sort of like throwing up. I try to think about anything else. I'll watch a movie, read a book, play on the computer, etc. Since I know this about myself, I am very careful. I make myself feel my deepest feelings. I make myself dwell on them and think them through. And if I need to cry, I put on sad music. Works everytime. Why?

And there are certain songs that make me feel like a teenager again. "Walkin' On Sunshine" is one of them. There's a Stevie Nicks song that does it too. What's the name..... I can't remember. "Maybe I'm just thinkin that the rooms are all on fire......" that one. I hear them and I want to dance and sing at the top of my lungs. Why?

But my favorite is our music in church. When I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam sing and play - it does something to me. I literally feel my spirit lifted up. It's like my insides are struggling to get out and fly away to heaven. In those moments, I feel God. I'm not saying that a relationship with God is all about feeling, cause it's not. I know that he is with me all the time, but when I am worshiping, my spirit jumps and sings to him. I feel connected to him. He is there. I remember a verse that says, "He inhabits the praises of his people." (found it... Ps. 22:3 KJV) He is the only thing worthy of praise. He is our praise. Okay, bear with me a second.

I think that God created music to connect directly to our spirits. It was created as a means to worship him. And we were created to glorify God. So in those moments, I am doing and being exactly who I was created to be. And the only good I have in me is because of Him. Because of my union with Christ. So, when I hear Stokes, Connie and Adam worshiping God, my spirit and the Holy Spirit living within me have intimate communion as together we worship the Father. And in those moments, I have a glimpse... a taste of heaven. A brief flash of God's beauty. No wonder my soul wells up within me.

Oh, I love him. He is so cool and so much deeper than I could ever imagine. And even if I could imagine it, no words would ever adequately express it. That's what the spirit is for, to worship without words. To be still and know he is God.

I wonder if Connie, Stokes, Adam, Amber and Jawan and the rest even know how their gifts affect the people around them. God has truly priviledged them with the ability to lead others to himself. Hmmm.... Neat.... Amazing..... Inadequate words. I know.

Come See The Violence Inherent In The System

Yesterday, the kids and I went to Kim's for the day. Kim and I were inside, looking at the grocery store sale papers. The kids were outside, playing football, basketball, sword fighting, and playing Star Wars. It was a good and perfect day.

And then the tranquility was shattered.

Ellas came running in screaming "Gracie knocked Ty's teeth out! He's bleeding!"

My hope was a busted lip. I didn't panic cause we have blood fairly frequently at our home, between Ellas' clumsiness and Ty's nosebleeds. I dropped my sale paper and ran for the yard. And there was Ty, bleeding profusely from the mouth and holding part of a tooth. "Please let it be a baby tooth!" I prayed. Nope.

Gracie had smacked Ty in the mouth with a plastic pirate sword and broke his two bottom, permanent teeth in half, horizontally. Plus, she busted his lip pretty bad. I loaded Ty up and took off for Dr. Koplon's. Once there, Ty had to undergo root canals on both his broken teeth. He has temporary fillings in right now. But we go back Monday for something more permanent.

Gracie is deeply sorrowful and Ty is deeply sore. Pray for both of them. Poor kids.

My sweet little boy. I went in to wake him from his nap and found him like this. Such a sweet pose.  

Who Wants A King?

These are several thoughts that I know are connected. I'm still trying to figure out how. So this is more me puzzling things out. Not making a statement of sure belief.

What is a king? What does he do? What is his purpose? Why did the Israelites beg for one?

A king is a 'sovereign', one who rules over a people. A king, a good king, makes laws, resolves conflicts, extends justice, protects and defends his people, provides for his people, leads his people into battle, and demands respect and submission.

When he leaves the castle, runners go before him calling out, "Here comes the King. Bow before the King." Why? So that people can come stare? No. So that no one will be caught unaware. For to ignore the King would be a punishable offence. And it was a priviledge to serve him and give him honor.

Why do people want a king? I guess for one, it feels safe. The other nations judge you by how strong your leader is. Plus, we tend to be headless chickens. We need someone to unite us and give us purpose. We all have different ideas and need a king to make the big decisions. We want someone to be in charge of us. *side note- just like our kids want to know boundaries, so do we.*

We don't elect kings either. It is a monarchy - not a democracy. Some people may not like him or respect him or even acknowledge him as king - but that doesn't change the fact that he is the king. The king rules over all his people, even the ones who disregard him. And those same people benefit from his wisdom. If he makes a treaty with a neighboring country, all of his people reap the positive results. Loyal or disloyal.

So why does scripture call the baby Jesus the king? Did the shepherds and wise men come to a baby shower? Did they come just to see an exceptional infant? The answer is a resounding NO!

Christ was born as King. He was in the beginning. By his very essence were all things created. They were created by him and for him. He was king over all creation from the beginning of time. And when he came, he came on a royal mission. It was not to teach tolerance or moral law. He came to fulfill the very law that he created. To satisfy in himself the justice that he required.

Did he ask permission? Does a king ever need the permission of his people to act? To say that he needs our permission is to say that he is not sovereign. Who wants a weak king? Not me.

How does this change my view of Christmas? Or, better yet, does it change my views at all?

Well, for Chris and I, it does change things a bit. He's not just a baby with a vision. Or a nebulous heavenly party. Gifts take on a new meaning. They aren't things we do for each other to make us happy. They are the means that our King uses to meet our needs. He will provide for his people. Receiving a gift is a worshipful experience. Giving a gift is to be used as a vessel to meet someone else's need.

To see Christ as King is different from his being Messiah or provider or Savior. As King, he embodies all of those attributes and more. If I see him as King, then I am awed and ready to worship when I revel in his love for me. It is so much bigger than I'd ever thought before.

Well, I could go on and on. But I won't. Today anyway. I have lots of other disconnected pieces to pull in before I feel like this is a cohesive thought. I hope you aren't too confused. And I hope that it caused something to jump in your spirit as you read. That's what happened to me when Chris first told me. Think about it.

Gracie

Some of you know my daughter Gracie. She is 5 years old, has blonde curly hair and big blue eyes. She is the prettiest child I've ever seen. She has little rosebud lips and a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. She was born pretty. She really was.

She started talking very early. By the time she was 14 months she could communicate really well. And that's when the trouble started. At first, it was a little squirmish here and there but before long, it became an all out assault. Then a war. She was the most strong-willed child I have ever seen. Once she made up her mind about something and sunk her teeth in it she was like a badger. (To get a badger to turn loose once it gets a hold on something you have to break it's jaw.) And everything was a fight. Breakfast, sippy cups, naps, potty training,books- you name it.

But the worst of it was bedtime. She would not just stay in the bed. Ask my Dad, he lived here for some of it. For two years straight, she got three spankings a night to get her to give up and stay in bed. I would cry, she would cry, Maggie would cry. We had a mantra: Me- "Gracie, what are you doing?" Gracie- " Fighting you." Me- "Who's going to win?" Gracie- "You are." Me- "And what's going to happen to you?" Gracie- "I'm gonna get a spankin." Me- "Then quit fighting me. I don't want to give you a swat." Three times every night, for three years. She fought me. Made Maggie and Ty miserable. Pestered the snot out of Brody. And I would pray every night and day that God would help me be kind and calm and that Gracie would learn that I was the boss and that Mommy always wins.

It was a long 3 years. One day, about nine months ago, she was throwing a fit and we replayed the mantra listed above. And she took a deep breath, looked at me and said "OK." And that was the end. Later she said, "Mommy, I gave up." It finally clicked that I was in charge. And she has been a different child since.

The only problem is that people got used to her being "the hard one." She had burned her bridges, so to speak. Her brother and sister avoided her. No one ever invited her to spend the night. She didn't get the affection she longed for. In a way, she had done it to herself. But she was 3. And now, she is acutely aware of every time someone says go away or you're so annoying. She came to me the other day in tears and said, "Mommy, I don't mean to annoy people." My heart broke for her.

She is my special girl. We have a bond that goes deep. You see, Gracie is me. I was just like her at that age. And I remember being told those same things or "Please, can't you just be quiet for five minutes?" or being ignored because I talked so much.

I talked to Bren about this problem tonight. And if you'll look at his blog, you'll see that he took extra time with her tonight. The other kids wouldn't let her play so Bren went and got her and let her pick out car pictures for his blog. He talked to her and gave her advice. They colored pictures. She talked about him all the way home. She told her Daddy about him. She prayed for him. You see, he showed love to her. He saw her, not as the bratty 3 year old she used to be, but as the bright 5 year old she has become.

Sometimes, I think we let people get stuck in our minds as being who they were ten years ago or two years ago. We don't let them grow and change. We think we know them but really we know who they used to be. Thank goodness I'm not who I was ten years ago. Are you?

It's an amazing thing to take a fresh look at someone you take for granted. You never know who you'll discover.

NARNIA !!!!!

Chris and I took all the kids to see The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe today. Words cannot express how much I loved this movie. The best way I can describe it is to say : It is as powerful as The Lord of The Rings and as moving as The Passion Of The Christ to me. I cried and laughed and cheered. The symbolism moved me. To know that Christ sees me the way Aslan saw Edmund and to see the power and love ..... breathtaking.

It was getting to experience a story that I've known most of my life. My Mom read some of the Chronicles of Narnia to Kim and I when we were little. Kim and I were in different bedrooms. So, Mother would sit in the hallway between our rooms and read it out loud. I remember being able to see it all happening in my mind. And the movie absolutely did the book justice.

I'm sure that they could have done a few things here and there differently. But overall it was perfect. Some may disagree, which is fine. But to me, it was magnificent!

Merry "Christmas"?

There is a big controversy brewing about Christmas. I saw a self-described atheist on the news last week talking about how "the pagans are taking back their holiday and if the Christians don't like it, they need to get over it!" Meaning that Christmas will now be only about Santa and giving and good feelings. No Jesus, no wise men, nothing.

So basically, we offend people with our "religious" talk and we should be quiet. Apparently, they can tolerate many things except our freedom of speech and religion. So what do we do? Try not to offend anyone? Try to be extra offensive?

In cases like these, I find it hard to hear God's voice. I want to tell these people to SHUT UP! That we, as believers, have had enough of their bullying and they need to get ready for a fight. But on the other hand, "We wrestle not against flesh and blood..." I feel a measure of compassion for the ones who cringe at the name of Christ.

All I know to do, is worship Christ as best I can and love as He has loved me. What will that look like? I'm not sure, but I am sure that He'll show me one situation at a time. My focus should never be the atheists and bullies of the world. It should always be on Christ, the one who seeks out the atheists and pagans for his own.

Sweet Memories

Today has been anticlimactic. But not in a bad way. We have spent weeks getting ready for the party last night. It went really well. Lots of people came and ate and laughed and talked. Chris shared the Gospel. I'm not sure how it was received, but that's not important. God will draw them.

So, today I'm running the dishwasher, paying bills and sitting around in my pj's. The kids wanted to watch old home videos. So, we watched the video of Brody's birth and the benefit concert we had after Dad's wreck. We watched old birthday parties and the family reunion of Bill's family. I love video cameras. It makes the past seem so close.

I saw my Mom hold Brody for the first time. And, to my knowledge, that's the only picture I have of her holding him. It was sweet and excrutiating at the same time. I cried pretty hard. I hadn't seen that one before. Dad was the one in the delivery room filming. Chris got to deliver Brody and we got the sweet prayer that Dr. Mac prayed afterward. It was wonderful to see all that again.

And almost as bittersweet was the benefit. I got to hear my friends Amber and Jawan sing again. It was sorta sad to me. I mean, these are the friends that I used to hear sing almost every week. Once, I came home and Amber was in my house practicing for her recital because Frank was asleep at home. It was pretty cool. Amber was always singing or humming. And my joke with Jawan is that her voice is what my voice sounds like in my head. For some reason when it leaves my mouth, it loses something. I miss my friends. They live in different states now. But I still love them and they love me. I hope.

So, today was a lazy day. Watching videos and eating leftovers from the party. Seeing how little my kids were when Brody was born. Lovely day.

Quick Thought About Theraflu

The new Theraflu commercials irritate me. In one, a guy (who looks like a troll) gets on a bus. And where does he sit? Next to the youngest person on the bus! HE HAS THE FLU! Sure Theraflu might get rid of your symptoms (and you no longer looklike a troll) but YOU STILL HAVE THE FLU!

In the other commercial, the guy drinks his medicine and then leaves his infected coffee cup right next to the coffee pot! HEELLLOOOO?!?!?! You have the flu, go home and quit infecting everyone around you!

Good grief.

Girl Trip

WARNING* Amber and Angela, read at your own risk.

Well, I'm back from my trip. (Obviously) And boy was it fun! Kim, Terri and I went down to Destin on Wednesday morning. We had to stop a few times for Terri the Tiny Tank Carden but we still made it in 5 hours. It was sunny and warm and beautiful the whole time we were there.

A friend of Chris' from work let us stay in her condo for practically nothing. It was really nice. Two bedroom, two bath, full kitchen, DVD player and cable. We had all the plans of going out to eat, staying out late, etc. But I must admit - we are old. We went out to eat at a place we thought would be great. Ended up - not so much. I ordered a frozen Irish coffee which tasted like hair spray with whipped cream on top. By the second sip, my tongue was numb. Needless to say, that drink was not finished. Yuck! How can people like whiskey? And the food was decent, but I don't pay that much money for "decent". My french onion soup had funny looking cheese. It was honeycombed - very uncool.

After eating, we went to Krispie Kreme and succeeded in completely confusing the foreign speaking cashier. We were retarded. If we wanted to, Kim and I could be really effective short-change artists. While we were there, we were ogled by an unwashed, smelly man. Lovely.

And then, we really partied. We went to Target and bought nail polish and coffee. WHOO! We are wild. We confused the Starbucks cashier too.

The next day we slept late and shopped at the outlet mall. Man, we got some really good deals. I'm serious. Nice backpacks for $1, sweaters for $3, cd's for $7. Lots o' stuff! I love getting good deals. Gap pricing was disappointing though. The book store was sooo great. Lots of stuff for school.

Terri and I walked down to the beach. It was weird standing there in sweatshirts and still being cold. We had climbed a wooden fence to save ourselves a really long walk to the access. Which was fine. But on the way back, Oh my Goodness, I climbed it just fine. But Terri's shirt hung on something and she started falling. It was like time stood still. I could hear her nails clawing the wood trying to stop herself. But it was to no avail. She fell flat on her butt. I was standing there, honestly thinking that she wasn't going to actually hit the ground. Three times, it looked like she was about to right herself. I was such a bad friend. I could not quit laughing. Terri was laughing too. I think that's why she kept losing her balance.

We came back and watched The Village by M. Night Shamaylan. Love that movie! If you haven't seen it, you should. No cursing. No ugly scenes. It's suspenseful and .... just cool! Anyway, we watched movies and laughed and read books and laughed and discussed books and laughed and ate and laughed. You get the idea.

You know, it doesn't really matter what we do, we always have fun. It was restful and encouraging. And during that brief time, it sort of hit me. There are a lot of women who don't have the friendships that I do. Many don't see the need for it. Many don't think they have the time for it. Others are just plain scared of it.

But having my "Sister Chics" is priceless to me. They love me no matter what and I them. Just tonight they came up and helped me clean to get ready for a party. They love my kids and participate in my life. They e-mail me or IM me and offer bits of their heart that soothe my spirit. They call just to complain. They listen when I call to complain and somehow we always end up remembering God's providence. And then we laugh.

I wish all of you reading this could come on our next girl trip. You'd have a great time, I know it.